Wednesday, August 30, 2006 | 0 comments  
yoyoyo wassap yo?

Yesterday morning i was at Jurong Point... in the wee wee hours of the morning (9am).

Only the fast foods were open.. the rest were closed.. sleepy.. and only the hardworking auntie uncles of singapore were awake walking around while the rest of the smart JC kids were..... sleeping.

I bet Tianyu feels so hurt now.

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Anyways I got a call from this agency called Tekmedia right after my work at Takashimaya....

We had a briefing at JP's Courts....

... once again i'm selling laptops...

..this time... it's Toshiba.




Worse. Laptops. Ever.

1.83 dual core processor.... no dedicated graphics card (only 128mb shared)..... no nice design or whatever....

and the best part is....

only 256mb DDR2 SDRAM.


HOW TO SELL LIKE THAT?!!?!
You can barely run Photoshop!

"Hallo auntie.... prease buy my laptop..."

"Ha??! 1500 for a laptop liddis so lau ya!"

"Aiya is ok is ok... laptop may be lau ya... but you can pay with 0% installment! Song bo?!"

"waaaaa!!!! 0% installment!!! ok ok i buy i buy... tee hee hee...."

already the graphics is 128mb shared that means effectively you have 128 mb of RAM left for your laptop.

The HP i was selling had 2GB of ram with a GeForce 7000 series card. Even so no one fancied it.

Anyways.... I'll be workign here for the next four days, starting tomorrow. If anyone could get me a Razer Diamondback at the fair, please do. I'll pay back.

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Hopefully.... i get to see her.....
Posted by Audi
Tuesday, August 29, 2006 | 0 comments  
I managed to find some time alone this morning.

I bought the Straits Times from Yishun market's Cold Storage and read it on the staircase of Tianyu's block.

The politics section seem to by me favourite read.

Sometimes i wonder...

... maybe my choices are wrong.

I think i might have this hidden interest in military politics.

Should i go for a professional certificate in military?
Posted by Audi
Sunday, August 27, 2006 | 0 comments  
Two days ago I hung out with Sarala, Ruth, Hasrul and Tianyu.
We had lunch at BK.

Yesterday I hung out with Henry, Aik and Tharik and we went to K-pool for a long round of pool.

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I met Donald along the way.

Yesterday I hung out with Hasrul till midnight at the kopitiam drinking teh.

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I learnt that by repeating “ingga pu ringgeh” many times will result in the prata uncle stirring the curry giving you a long sharp glare.

Today, I met one of my blog readers, Hyde, in Yishun.

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We hung out at 925 kopitiam. I owe him a visit to Tampines.

Then later at night, Tianyu and me charged, side-by-side, into an entire battalion of armoured infantry, destroying tanks and killing infantry, in Operation Flashpoint.

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I saw Tianyu getting blown to pieces by a tank shell followed by a hand grenade.
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Ladies and gentlemen…. I have never felt more secure in my social relationships than I am now.



Once again, Tharik and I playing FEAR. You just have to love the ending.



Just when Tharik thinks he’s owning me…. I shock him by using a little dirty secret….

P.S. If you play either Call of Duty 2, Doom3, FEAR Combat, Operation Flashpoint, Counterstrike: Source and DOTA, download Hamachi and log on to Jia Hui’s network – Name: Audii Password: sucks. (it’s Jia Hui’s. Explains the lame-onity doesn’t it?). Then maybe one day we all can play?
Posted by Audi Labels:
During my stint at Taka’s Best Denki, I made a little walk around the store during one of those boring dull periods where everyone behind the camera counter were taking pictures, those on the laptops were playing laptops, and those selling TVs were watching Monsters Inc.

Then I saw it…

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.

…. A wall.
.

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Not just any wall…. But a wall of LCD tubes!

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A 65 INCH LCD TV!

This thing was HUGE as in awesomely HUGE. I could put Sze Aik behind it and we’ll never hear from him again.

I sat down watching it and they had all these cathedral paintings fading in and out. Just so happens that I took the picture at the “right moment.”

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Whenever I think of and uncut dick, I think of Henry. I have no idea why.

But of course, with big screens and big babies and big baby dicks comes big prices.

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SGD$33,000 for a TV?!

If your family buys this TV, pls call me. I will disown myself and join you. HAHA.


I’ve always been fascinated with technology. Particularly computers.

And all of us nerds know that gamers have the strongest consumer computers around. Any stronger and you’d be rendering King Kong on your machine.

I am an avid gamer and I love playing FPS games. Recently I discovered Hamachi, which is available at hamachi.cc, which allows me to set up a virtual LAN network which then my friends could join with their Hamachi client.


What’s the use?

Well, now it’s like as if we all live under one roof (my one sweet dream…) and just by setting up one LAN server in say… Call of Duty 2, we all could join that game as if it was LAN.

And with LAN, genuine product checking and all that is skipped.

In other words… we can crack all our asses off! Cos we don’t play with other ppl around the world anyways. It’s too laggy too. Torrents own!

Anyways I managed to find a little bit of cash on the floors of my room the last few days.
(the other time Tharik found 20 dollars. Tanny found a few five and two dollar notes on the floor as well….)

I went down to Funan, looking for microphones to buy for Henry and Aik since now we use Skype to talk to each other. Sure helps lower down my phonebills.

Then I stumbled on this mousepad.

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The Barracuda.

Made in Singapore, The Barracuda was “designed for gamers.”

Wtf does a mousepad got to do with anything??!!
“Just use the tabletop lorhhzzz~~~~” I can hear your girlfriend saying.

Nowadays where ppl use optical mice, a mousepad is essentiall for us gamers who sometimes need an accuracy of 2 pixels to kill an enemy. At the same time we need our cursors to move fast, swiftly and fluidly, no jerks in between.

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The Barracuda promises all the precision and accuracy we gamers want and they achieve this by giving us two different surfaces on the mousepad.

Optical mice reads where you move the thing across the table by reflecting the patterns on the surface it’s on. I had my mouse on a wooden table all this while and when playing DOTA or Call of Duty2, my mouse would sometimes jerk and twitch and my crosshairs skip to the other end of the screen…. Just when I’m about to save Jia Hui from seven Russian soldiers in Operation Flashpoint. Its irritating.

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The barracuda has a regular, patterned surface that’s both smooth and nice to touch.

I hadn’t been able to put the Barracuda to the ultimate test…. But a quick round on FEAR Combat, which is free and is available for download here, easily puts me on top of the fragging list. I found the precision to be absolutely life saving.

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Second top frag with only 10 deaths.

Turning 180 degrees round at an enemy? No problem!
Pivoting around a corner while aiming down your sights? No problem!
Owning one headshot and throwing the crosshair to the next head? Also NO PROBLEM!

And to promote it even further…. I was using a lousy 3 year-old Microsoft wireless mouse;
three years old wireless technology + hi-speed gaming = disaster.

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But the Barracuda pulled me through.

It’s available for SGD$42 at the shop beside Charlene’s workplace; Edpol, at Funan. You cant miss the shop; it’s the only one with a security guard guarding the place.

Another gadget to add on to my collection of technology. (Cameras, Computers, Stereovision glasses, surround sound system, joysticks, graphics cards….)

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Three computers. All able to run Doom3 at 60fps.

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Why the hell do I have to so many comps?!?!?!

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Well…. One day… muaahhaha!!


Here’s a little fun clip I recorded while playing FEAR Combat with Tharik. I added some nifty little tips for those who are interested.


FEAR Combat is free (dun ask me why) and is available at www.joinfear.com

Posted by Audi Labels:
EDIT: Added a dull portion for this post. Writing it just for keepsake.

Even with all the time….

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With all the opportunities….

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… for pictures….

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…. Beautiful….

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….ugly….

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…. Pointless….

And fun I’ve taken and given….

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Even though I’ve decided – “This is the one!”


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Even with the choices presented…..

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.. this is all I could get.

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… that’s all I have to remember….
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I dont have much....
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but this is all i have....
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... a measly snapshot.
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my sad love life……

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The End.




P.S section

“So where you planning to go after ur O levels?”

“where? Go home lor…”

“LMAO!”

It’s that easy to talk. The tone for the evening could be annoyingly dull and boring but the moment we get together everybody starts looking at me laughing my ass off.

“ok la seriously.. where u planning to go.”

“umm… if can.. I wanna go to Early Chilhood…”

“ECH? Isn’t that in ngee ann?”

“ya.. ngee ann lor…”

I heard angels sing.

“and if that doesn’t work?”

“Then I’d go for retail la…”

“retail?”

The devils could be heard laughing…

“Yeah… business la….”

“You mean ngee ann ?”

“ya… Ngee ann….”

The angels sang louder and were accompanied by a full orchestra complete with back up choirs.


It was 8. Time to go.

“Wendy I ask you ar…”

“can I have your msn?”

“I long time never log in liao…”

“okok then gimme ur number la. Let me get straight to the point hhah.”

“hahaah ok ok….”

Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was my mistake. Maybe I should wait for her at the ComEx event at the Expo.

But one thing’s confirmed though – we cant contact each other.


Wendy and I stood so close. Too close for the workplace, in fact. Side by side, like brader brader.

Noone seemed to see me. Not even Vivian. Maybe it was because I was squatting on the floor helping out to pack the laptops in their boxes. Maybe it's because when i sent off the customer to the taxi stand, they thought i left.

Wendy was walking off with her bag. She was going to the front.

I felt a rush. I deep echoing rush. I dropped whatever I was doing – cables, adapters, sponge… everything. – and ran to the front, eyeing her from the side, past rows and rows of shelves, tvs, displays…. And finally a pillar.

Customers were making last payments. Noone seem to notice anyone else. The cleaners were closing the shutters. Doors were slamming shut and keys were jiggling. The lights were turning off.

I looked around….

..... people were pointing here and there. Some were saying goodbyes. Some were giving their laast jokes of the day. Some had their bags under their arms.

i looked around....



… and I couldn’t find her.



Two more weeks….


Btw, thanks Tanny for putting up with me, every night after work, boring you with my soft side and countless repetitions of "chee baiiii~~!!!". Well at least now you could study for your exams without having to worry about me calling you. Good luck.



Posted by Audi Labels:
Another day another 8 hrs of standing up, pacing around, walking on my heels, and smiling so sweetly at people (well… at least I try to. Im starting to find myself smiling at the wall.)

First thing’s first; I said hi to everyone working there along my aisle… including Eugene’s girlfriend….. and I made sure I didn’t do more than a grin to my little girl, Wendy.

Wendy….. nice name…. My film history teacher is called Wendy also… I also like… LOL.

Today’s sales not bad. A bit more busier than yesterday…….. which then comes to…

I almost sold FOUR computers!!!!!

Knnccb I dunno where the hell everyone else went… it was only me guarding the laptops and wendy on the other end doing the printer sales and in the middle was my crapping brader, Daniel. Yesterday the lau jiao all wan to chiong until we had like 5 or seven ppl there la!

I sold one laptop to a phillipino guy. Not bad… we two talk cock together until so shiong I’m going like, “Ah ya ya ya you see ar if you buy this laptop u will get a free mouse cum phone! Dunno what that is? Here it is! See? It’s a mouse! Can click can scroll can move around… but oh no.. look… it’s ur friend from a foreign country calling using Skype! Then… open your mouse and ta da! It’s a phone!”

He “ORRHHHH” till so long I can go down buy KFC to da pau.


I brought him to the counter.... and say to the lau jiaos standing there, “Here! Your first sale of the day!”

I quickly ran back to Wendy and call her squat down on the floor with me.

“I just made my first sale! A Sony Vaio!”

Then I dunno wht else I said but I know she laugh laugh laugh like hamster kanna electrocuted.

Then Vincent came and squat together with us, “Audi… you sold the customer the Sony Vaio right?”

Proudly I said, “Yup!”

“Na ke customer credit card denied.”

PCB!!!!!!

I met a lot of people today. The second family was an old mother with her two sons. It’s like… somehow… I know la ppl say my mandarin no good but I tried to converse in Chinese la. I take Cambridge Mandarin course after O levels then got cert some more - better not waste rite?

“Auntie ni hao…”

“WAAA!!!! Ni keyi ting hua yu ar?!?!?!!?”

But then … no sales.
Almost got sale!!!! Because the two nerd sons were like… mumble here mumble there… the mother was confused whether the payment was 12 months or 24 months (I said 2 years - one month pay 190 plus. Laptop cost only 2K. Siao rite?)

But then my kaki behind me at the camera booths saved my backside and FINALLY the family went and pointed, “This one hor….”

“ya.. this one…”

“ya….”

Then they stare at it…..

… then never buy.

KNNCCB!!!!

Then there was this malay guy look like negro coming over. Still can see me look up look down then said, “You Chinese or malay ar?”

Whahahahah….. ever since the start of work ppl think I’m Chinese. Shiok man… I will have a good future in Singapore. HAHA!

This guy was like saying his girlfriend wan to talk to her mother in USA and she needed the computer by TOMORROW. So I give him the appropriate model and he said he wanna be a BEST member so the monthly payment can get lower.

Daniel sent him to the Customer Service centre to register.

“Eh Daniel… I thought if register as member need to wait?”

“Ya.. one week.”

We never saw the guy return again.

HAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!

Had lunch with my kaki, Xek, from the camera department (he doesn’t wanna reveal his real name. Probably Fei Lon Tong since he so fat.) down under Taka…. Katsu Don!!!!

Quickly went back up to Wendy and we had a small talk.

Wah liu…. I dunno lei… its like…. Whahahaa….. this attraction is not the *ting* lan jiao will stiff wan. It’s like…. Zzzz.. Josephine once said, after she looked at the type of girls I like, “Audi like all those xiao mei mei type…”

Am I a semi-paedophile?

Wendy was moving the boxers of the printers, stacking them up, heaving them around. Trying to make some space for her to walk. I think the box even bigger than her.

So… I did the MAN thing….

From my squatting position I said,“Eh I think the box bigger than you….”

HAHAHAHHAHA!!!! Best pick up line from Best Denki! LOL

Ya la I helped her stack up… all the time I’ve over there squatting she looking down on me…

mmm…. Sweet talk… ahahaha….. Eugene’s girlfriend and her gong kia partner look at us from other side also know something is happening.

Nb it’s like she sell printers….. out of 10 customers.. she will sell seven so easily.
Not bad not bad a girl that can talk…. (she used the word “MOREEVER” you know!!! Who say O level private candidate stupid!?!?!)

Then at one time she was talking to me about how much better it is to just buy a laptop without insurance and started giving me all the figures and calculations and interest rebate.

I squat down there nod nod nod in the end fall asleep. LOL.

She was playing with her hands and I was looking at her painted nails with all the flower flower designs and her pink necklace and yada yada yada….. then I saw a ring on her finger.

Eh? Is there a chance she’s attached.?

Doo lan…..

It was near the end of my shift. Then I had this family come in.

It was an old Chinese Cantonese-speaking couple with a (surprisingly) dark daughter who’s definitely twice the size of her plump father.

Then I started to look some more while I was standing beside them and I realized…. Omg she’s a Malay!

“So mam you buying a computer for yourself?”

“No la… it’s for my daughter…. There…”

I think this sale’s gonna be etched in my mind forever.

The father was one of those people who don’t really understand computers.

He was on the phone with someone, reading the specs off the display to the other guy.
He went like, “Orh orh this is…. Twenty uh…. Twenty what ar? Twenty Gee Bee!”

“Then ar… zhe ge shi shenme ar….. one point eight zero gee-H-zet ar? Wo bu zhi dao la…”

The wife was those diam diam wan… but very pleasant. Classic older generation la. I also felt the father to be somewhat cynical with me since I’m a promoter and every mistake that I do will get shot at and call me liar and all that la (he nv call me liar la).

The background here is that all these while I managed to sell of non-HP computers…. But I’m supposed to promote HP products! One product sold I get twenty dollar incentive! But then im here selling away Canon la Acer la Sony la…. Daniel still can shake my hands and say thank you. (cos he’s selling Acer.)

“Okay you see sir this HP model is the best deal you could get for your daughter…”

“Orh this wan come with all the programs loaded?”

I looked a bit….. “Mmm yeah it doesn’t… standard Windows XP stuff….”

“You mean no Excel or powerpint or whatever?”

“No you gotta buy that separately.”

The father shake his head ready to walk away, “Jia lat lei like that where can what if student buy ar then no programs cannot so school work!”

“Actually Sir students have their school install programs for them…..”

“You mean school install wan ar?! But if never lei then how?! Later my daughter wan to do school work then how?!”

“Oh she can send it over to her school and they should be able to install all those Photoshop or Excel or Micrsoft Office and stuff…. What poly is she in?”

“Poly?!?! She’s in primary school!”

What the….

Primary school need Excel wan ar?

In the end I managed to talk them into it… they were ready to spend a thousand eight on a HP desktop. They were seriously really concerned about the value-for-money factor and all that.

Finally my 20 dollar incentive seems to be coming closer.

The father was all cynical about me and stuff like that but then throughout I went up beside him, talked a bit and I realized that this man isn’t doing it because he’s an asshole or stuff like that. Not every family could spend a thousand eight like that.

One of the deals was that they can choose either a standard lcd display or widescreen.

They’ve never seen a widescreen lcd before and didn’t know what’s so good about having more real estate. Actually they didn’t even know what’s an LCD display. It’s pretty obvious these are the hardworking people of Singapore who toil through the mud all day long. Respectable nonetheless.

I couldn’t find a working widescreen at the HP side but there was one on the Acer side. So I went there….

The Acer on display had a big price tag that was four hundred dollars cheaper than the HP wan.

“Eh why this one cheaper ar?”

I looked at the specs… and realized it’s the same model as Tharik’s computer. And Tharik’s computer is of respectable specs already.

I read it.. compared… and noticed…. god, HP screwed up their promotion somewhere.

Some more the free gift includes a wireless keyboard and mouse, web cam, something else and a 1GB thumdrive.

“Why ar why?”

Furthermore they could upgrade to a 19 inch LCD….. and had a separate graphics card, an ATI series (the HP only had integrated IMA crap.) And a Core Duo 3GhZ processor to boot.

“Aiya nvm la.. we already chose that one… he said that’s the best for her…”

“Actually ar……”, I began.

They keep quiet….

“…to be honest with you….”

They turned their bodies to me…

“…take this one. Don’t take the HP.”

They bought the Acer.
I walked over to Wendy and squatted beside her. She joined me after a while.

Like my now-missing beng brader, Jerome, once said, “Dun fuck other ppl money.”

He also said, “Brotherhood can only work when everyone agrees the thing is there.”

“Eh Wendy where you stay ar?”
“Ang Mo Kio…”
SONG BO!!!!






Posted by Audi Labels:
A burly old auntie walks in with her flowery shirt and many handbags under her arms. She’s balding but tries to cover it up by not tying her hair.

She looks around at the HP laptops I’m promoting. One by one, going up the line of notebooks on display, she reads the descriptions that come together with the notebooks and occasionally closes and opens their displays, looking about at the USB ports.

She makes a call. Her hands wave and point at the notebooks on display as she speaks to the other person on the line. Seems like she’s discussing something.

So I gathered my balls and answered my call of duty.

“Da jie may I help you?”

She looks at me.
Then looks at the notebook, smiles innocently and points.

.
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.
“Zhe shi laptop ar?”

I grabbed the laptop and smashed her face - she flew back to Clementi.




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Eh got two chiobu working with me. Shiok!
One of them is 19 years old in SP doing Maritime and the other is taking O levels private.

I like the younger one because she so cute look like Hui Shi like that lmao. But then because she’s so sweet and all so the guys working there start crowding around her disturbing her and touching her head and all that.

Doo lan....

The other girl I managed to talk cock with her. Then skali got this plane fly above us with the banner, “It’s a cb small world after all!”; she’s my NCC senior’s girlfriend.

KNNCCB.

Back to younger girl….
From the start of the show, I was on the other end of the aisle. We two saw each other from far already. By the time 8 hours was up, I itsy-bitsy spider to her end of the aisle, occasionally stealing glances at her. She also doing the same thing.

That’s about as far as I can go la. Cos I had stomach cramps – eat ten dollars worth of KFC.

But the day was sibeh damn boring! So I thought… better disturb her.

I went down five storeys to Cold Storage, bought two bottles of Green Tea, koo koo bird stand at the escalator as it brings me up five storeys, walked right up to her and said….

“Nah… for you.”

Then I turned around and resumed my I-not-interested-in-you routine.

For the rest of the night she stoned down there dunno what to say.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting our bangla fren….

“Ni mei you nu ren ar?”
“Wo? Nu ren ar? Mei you la. Mei you qian… mei you car….shenme nu ren?”
“orh... eh customer lai liao….”

sianz…..

Posted by Audi Labels:
Ladies and gentlemen…..


…. this is my new work place.

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Audi works?

DUH!

Hallo it’s about time right?

I’m working over at Takashimaya Lvl 5, Best Denki in the computer section. It’s just another salesjob where I go and tikam ppl into buying err… printers.

Lame la budden….

Charlene introduced me to the job two nights before. She said at the end of the four days I will get SGD$150 dollars I chop chop take the place already la. 150 not bad what… for my case. :(

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Actually Charlene gave me a lot of openings already. One of them was for Oak3 Productions the filming company in Singapore. They’ve done quite a lot of shows for TV like Channel 8 Dramas and advertisements. I’ve sent in my resume…

I start today at Taka till Monday. Swee la. 12pm to 8pm. Just now I stood for 4 hours I already buay tahan need to squat along the corridor and call ppl.


And I called Ruth, Tharik, Henry, Aik, Jason, Charlene, Freddy, and my Voice mail. See… im so lonely. LMAO.

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So if you’re in orchard and too bo liao to do anything but disturb ppl then please put away your flyers and come on down to Taka’s Best Denki and I will entertain you!

Funny…. I dun usually go to Orchard…. Suddenly I’m working here and not some kopitiam in Yishun.

After Monday I will spend my money on xiao didi Aik…..

Ok la actually not spend… it’s I owe him money. LOL.


Btw, look at this and do you feel sad?
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1GB+ at only 1hr 11minutes!




Posted by Audi
Thursday, August 17, 2006 | 0 comments  
Charlie called for a meeting this morning at his office in Harbour Front.
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Major problem.

0.0!!
Posted by Audi Labels:
A couple of posts before I ranted about a silly law that, through my interpretation, symbolizes the gahment’s insecurity of its citizens.

Well they might have their reasons for the law, rite?

But then, a short while before, I had another run in with another media “law”.

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Some of the photos from my “Mafia in the Dark” production, which I sent in for Charlie to vet before I send them over to Noise Singapore, got rejected for that single silly reason.

The part that put me off was, “FYI, this is against the law in Singapore.”

What? So now we cant have ppl smoking in our photographs?
I got Tharik to find that specific law that denies photographers to take pictures of cigs and, as I expected, Tharik came back all tired and sweaty on the other line and said he cant find anything on it.

The annoying thing is that he ended with, “Hope you can finish your project on time.”….


It’s not like I can just garner three redheads and three C-stands and send in my letter of permission to the Estate manager in Ngee Ann and get a digital camera and get the talents back and rent the Bolex as a prop all in what… three days? What the hiao…….


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He never replied and probably never will; the Noise Singapore Apprenticeship is over.

The submission date is from today to the 17th of August. I’m handing it up anyways… with cigs or no cigs.



Posted by Audi
Monday, August 14, 2006 | 0 comments  
Yesterday afternoon Ting called me, “Eh are u free later? Wan go steamboat at Sly’s place?”

HUH?!?!!?!? SLY?!!!? SYLVESTER!??!!?! WHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I asked back, in the most manly manner that I could pull off so I don’t show my excitedness.
.
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“HIS HOUSE ARHZ?!??! SERIOUS?!!?!?! OMG OM GOMG!!!!”
Dot dot dot dot…. I tried my best to sound manly la ok?

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So Ting gave me his address and ok la I planned to go there at seven.

Then at seven I was already walking over to Yishun MRT dressed so nicely cos its been a long time since I met wo da jie and Sly… muahahaha freaking high already. And Stacie!!! whahahahah!!!!!

Then suddenly one of our Yishun friends called and diaoz my whole plan had to cancel.

My friend kanna operation so wahhhhhhhhhhh sibeh damn confused la!!!! Either I go visit my brader or go to Jurong.

In the end I went and visited my friend.

My heart says go meet Sly for steamboat. My brain says go take care of my friend.
Suddenly my heart say, “Ya lor ya lor. He’s your old friend u need to support!”
then suddenly my brain go, “Eh but if you meet Sly then you will be super high lei… plus u can see Ting… she can be ur clubbing buddy!”

I think at that point of time my brain control station was changing shift.

So I called Ting. Muahahha….. she sound like Mrs. Teng… HAHAHAHAH.

“Ting ar sorry I not coming already.”

She gave me one super loud TSK! My heart break.
:(

Then she went, “Wait ar”

Suddenly a guy’s voice came on, “Hey brader how you doing?”

“Huh… who’s this ar….”

“This is Sly.”

“HAH?!”

SONG LIAO.

MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHHAAHAHHAH!!!!!!

SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BO?
SONG BOMAJULAHSINGAPURALALAALALLA!?!?!??!?!!?

Then we talked awhile. Then I asked him, “eh over there got how many ppl ar?”

“How many ar? Wait ar… one two three four five… Five people. Eh you wait ar…”

Then Ting’s voice came back on.
HAIYO!!!!! ZZZZ!!!!

MOS this 26th with Ting! WHEE!!!







Anyways.... to my friend who i met just now.....
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Posted by Audi Labels:
Sunday, August 13, 2006 | 0 comments  
Friday was our Film History final test. After this marked the start of my two-months holiday as well.

Film History is considered as one of the most difficult modules to understand and learn and all that stuff. Obviously we have people going around “Why should we learn abt history??!?!??! What’s past is past!!!”

Yaaaaaa…….. its because of ppl like us who read on history know what to expect in current times. A peaceful world? Fat hope….

Film History basically teaches us about the development of western cinema from its start in 1895 to today….. and modern Hollywood’s a real bastard by dumbing down talented directors and writers to follow their materialistic money making blockbuster schemes….

Throughout the module I learnt that cinema changes not because of technology or society or whatever….. it’s basically POLITICS and ECONOMY.

Like Vselovod Pudovkin, the guy I wrote the report about (and got 74% mark! Hee hee..)… talented filmmaker who perfected editing techniques… made very strong films that portrayed working class people of Bolshevik Russia as stronger than those fat ass politicians….. but then he was taken in by Stalin, given propaganda projects that just had to conform with Stalin’s view on the ideal Russia at that time and resulted in the artistic death of Pudovkin as so many lies had to put in otherwise Pudovkin would be punished by the Stalinist regime. Pudovkin did try to compromised.. but no matter what he did, he had to give lies and was denied artistic freedom. Finally, he died of sadness, having only managed to make three more films after Stalin. The irony is that Stalin died the same year he did.

Other than pre-world war two cinema, I have no idea what’s up with the history after that. The French New Wav started coming in then the Italian Neorealism and then Hollywood collapses and rises up again to what it is today; another product of money-making-soul-eating modern day factory for America.

Wendy Wee herself kept rolling her eyes at the quality of Hollywood now. Even my textbook was like “Hollywood…. Urgh.”

So at around 3pm the night before I opened up my textbook…. Got bored… so I took the Straits Times lying on the floor infront of the toilet bowl.

And then I came across this article in the HOME section.

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Basically.. this Singaporean film-maker produced a film called “Singapore Rebel” which showed the “activities of Singapore Democratic Party chief”, Chee Soon Juan.

The film got pulled out of the Singapore Film Festival, probably will never be shown here and the filmmaker received a “stern warning” from the police.

I’m not particularly concerned of the film (though it’d be interesting to look see around….) …. But I’m just SIBEH DOO LAN-ED the the fucking law he seemingly violated EXISTS!!!!!

SIMI LAN JIAO WTF KINDA LAW STATES - “THE MAKING AND DISTRIBUTING OF PARTY POLITICAL FILMS IS FORBIDDEN.” !?!?!!

Even though (I think) it doesn’t clearly state that we cant make a Michael Moore-ish type of film…. But even if we do…. We will still get Backside Tear-ation Syndrome!

Someone up there will go, “Orhhhhhhh eng eng liao u make filem on PAP~~~~ ooorhhhh u die liao….”

Cos LKY = Gahment = PAP.
If u go other way - Gahment = PAP, PAP = Gahment and Gahment = PAP = you get fucked anyhow.

I’m really sibeh damn doo lan la. WHY CANT WE NOT MAKE A PARTY POLITICAL FILM!??!?”

Ham Ji? Scared to lose face? Scared other leaders will see? Need to always be clean otherwise they dun come Singapore?


Orhhh I know its because it will cause riots and civil unrest like you know the Royston Tan de film? The one he did after doing the Super-Duper-Better-Than-Eric-Khoo film called 15, the one that the Singapore Film Censorship Board cut out TWENTY SEVEN shots? Just because it was about bengs and had a shot of dick?

But mostly its that you’re scared of other ppl finding out our clean country has “bad” people? na beh chee bai...

15 is such a meaningful film that I really think every single Singaporean should get the uncensored version from overseas and watch it, then pass to their friends, and pass to their friend’s friends.
Actually I have the uncensored version. So if anyone wants it pls come get me.

After 15 got fucked by the Board, he made a film that poked fun at the board…. And like 15, it got fucked, banned, and Royston kanna warning.

I have one middle finger on my left hand…. Another one on my right. And now I’m waving it too all these Ham Ji Association people who make ham ji laws.

Yes. Films do have the power to invoke riots and civil unrest. It can affect a fuckload of society members… just look at Da Vinci Code! All the virgin old men now shaking in their robes!

But doesn’t this mean that the society’s maturity should come into play?
If you were to hide your child from scratches, brusies, accidents, falls and all things evil all the time… what if one day, like say a horny old men touch his ball ball or his friend’s ball ball? You think he will be superhero and save the whole fucking world because he’s so “clean”????

..
.
..
NI DE TOU LA KNN.

Your fucking fat son will be crying and sobbing and dunno what to do like a fucking ah gua! All his branded jeans and waxed hair and fat tummy wont be of any use!


Its like sometimes the society needs to be given some tests so that it can review its progress… so that ppl can see what’s wrong, fix it… and then mature so they wont be a fucking complain kia like as if they married an ang moh and went to Los Angeles with him. Even better if it’s homegrown… so it hits them harder.

Let’s see….. Do you people in Tampines even cared when the Yishun bomb plot was uncovered? NO RIGHT?!?!!? Maybe for a day or twenty but after that you’d see all the newspapers going, “Dun worry hor… our gahment sibeh swee swee found all the pcb so Singapore safe liao… Our system very tok kong wan dun pray pray!”
And then you walk away from the next terrorist going “AIya gahment will settle la…”
Correct anot? Do you call this maturing? It’s called RETARDED!

Pls la all the big people up there…. Could u dun be a mother goose? Our testicles need to grow!


Disclaimer: I am a Singaporean, and i love my country and my people and Lee Kuan Yew is one of my heroes. But sometimes... the way some people run things just irks me off. If you think i'm making no sense.... lets just say it's like you love your best friend... but he sometimes fucks up and so u get angry at him, correct? Does this mean you are "playing with his feelings"?
Posted by Audi
“OMG I just saw Tharik shouting on tv!” Henry types on MSN.

Huh? Tv? Tharik? I didn’t bother but then I went out to the living room to switch on the comp outside and my mother had channel 5 TV on and wah lau I saw Tharik!!!!

He was shouting, “BARIS!!!! SEDIIII…….AAA!!!”

Orhhh it’s national day parade la!!!

A few weeks ago, for god knows what reason, a couple of strangers have been coming up to me and chatting. One of them was a Singaporean construction worker. He’s an Indian and has been “working with the Government” for 40 years. He’s 71, just had his birthday, speaks clear English but if u saw him on the streets u’d point ur finger and say “Bangla bangla bangla bangla bangla…….”

It was at AMK MRT, and he was saying why for al these years it has NEVER rained during the NDP parades.

He said it’s because of the seventh month… everyone keeps praying and praying and burning so the spirits form a ring around the island so that it wont rain.

What the hell….?

This year’s parade commanders were swee swee probably the ones with the best voice ever in the history. It was deep, course, aggressive and commanding…. Just what every man should be.

Then I saw that the NDP is down with an illness!
I dotn know why nobody said anything…. But it’s confirmed: this year’s NDP is down with the Ah-Gua Syndrome!

The first time I noticed this was happening when they had the repetitive it’s-been-done-for-so-many-years(!) combined school choir thingy with their horrible sci-fi clothes and their hobo bucket hats and they were singing the Indian song….. and I thought I’d see some decent looking guy who HAS to have that hint of manliness because he’s performing, like maybe a suit on or sth, and what I saw was another pretty boy copy….

PRETTY BOY!!!!

I mean yeah I understand if u wanna be hip and cool and all that but geez cmon man could u not make the guy look so gay? With all the bad color combination and make up and purlple blushers and super-waxed hair do?

Then the camera started to crane down and I had the biggest shock of my life;
WTH THE NDP GOH TOUCHING THEIR KU KU JIAO!!!

For the previous years I remember the GOH to be standing at attention or at ease and yeah they have their own fancy drills and stuff like the rifles akimbo stance….. but geez my god they just made out soldiers look so WEAK holding their rifles like that! In case you didn’t see the parade, they were standing like this:

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Might as well do this also right?

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Wo hen cute nehhxXxzzz...... I am a singapore soldier!


Henry was online going “Parade also must do so many style ar?”

I think he was referring to the forming up of all those lettering on the parade ground.

Then Lee Kuan Yew came to his seat, guarded by two other people. I remember that the PAP wore white because it symbolizes purity and transparency…. And ya it’s really transparent! I can see LKY’s singlet!
Ahhh my country’s hero. He’s started to move quite slower I see… but its ok he’s done a lot of good.

“The hero with a faggot son.” – Anonymous.

Then a few moments later, I was in the room and Henry MSN-ed

“hhaah LHL come down no one acc him.”

LMAO.

I dunno I just have this grudge against Mr. Sianzzz-talk-so-Long. It’s come to the point where everytime I see him doing sth on tv.. him giving some talk or speech… I’d point my finger in the air and go, “YOUR FATHER DOES BETTER THAN YOU!”

I think what we need is a MAN leading the country instead of a BOY. Stupid elite school kids!

Then I think this Suria idol crap gay/guy came on and ok…. His singing was fine…. buT WAH LAN DEH!!! It’s basically a copy of the other guy la!!! PRETYY BOY!!! It’s just… it’s just… it’s just….. KNNCBBB nab eh if I had the power I put an ah beng down there and everyone will confirm say thanks to me. Na beh. At least put him in a fucking suit la. Like this u wanna earn respect? Sibeh ah gua neh…..

The next few minutes the parade was over, I came out of my room and the performances were about to begin. They were showing some weird video of kids being surgeons and doctors and marine biologists…. Spooked me a bit.

Then the drums started beating and they had this guy singing like Bjork. It was ok and fine…. Until I saw that he was BUFF…. WAY TOO FLEXIBLE and SMEARED WITH GOLD PAINT!

And suddenly he went into all these creepy dance moves that geez god if I were doing those moves please kill me !!! It was really like….. u noe those boys who took ballet and u really wanna bash them up in sec school? Yeah those kind.

Then the announcer said sth like it was choreographed by some person named Clarice and invited the person to speak about the dance.
Like ok… its done by a girl so fine maybe that explains the moves………..and a GUY’S voice came on!

Wth!!!!! Clarice is a girl’s name rite?!??!

My gawd….. it’s like wtf all these artsy fartsy performances and all the pretty colours and all…. My gawd~~!!!!! AAARRGHHH!!!!! No wonder when my Ozzie friend was saying sth like “Singaporeans are sissies.” I think I kinda feel for him now.

The neh neh Look-at-me-I’m-so-artsy youths are the sissy wan knn. I mean just look at the lao jiao parade commanders…. SO MAN!!!!
Then we the youths of the Republic like worms like that wiggle here wiggle there like so fun liddat.

All these movements for “Young artists”, “Rich culture and art.”, “Post-Modern” and all those big jamungous words comes down to all faggotty stuff.
I’m truly really disappointed. I so am.
The previous year’s was a BLAST! It was fun, professional, exciting and the men sure as hell acted like men.


What? Did the people from Singapore Idol run the NDP?

Even when I was 5 watching taped recording of the NDP parades in my hotel room in Kuching I was excited with all the soldier’s gung ho ness and toughness and the tanks and the performances…. Where those with dicks dressed up like they did have dicks. And even the art performances had the guys doing guy stuff (help girls climb up the human pyramid for eg.)



The CNA website said sth abt the fireworks, performances, drill and march past are the favourite events of the audience..
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PLEASE LA THAT'S ALL THAT WE'VE BEEN OFFERED OKAY.


This year’s truly wasn’t exciting… repetitive songs… lots of cliché stuff like “Awww this circle represents unity which is part of the Singapore pledge blab la lb alba” . and I swear this guy was on and a question was posted to him… and he was obviously reading off a script with all those humungous words that are lined up one after another; It’s obviously written by some lawyer person and read by my friend’s uncle's dog's son.

Geez… seriously ive never been more disappointed with the NDP like this before.

In the end I called out Henry and Aik and decided not to watch all these artsy fartsy empty performances and go do stuff real men do…..

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…so we went to Blk 925 kopitiam for dinner. I had my hot teh., watching Channel 8 while drinking… enjoying the fan blowing and listening to all the cars and ppl going by and having a swell time talking to my two kakis.

Then we went off to AMK K-pool till 12 am with Tharik.. having buckets of great laughs.

I really really hope someone in the organisation kicks someone in the head and next year’s NDP isn’t as gu niang as this year’s.

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.... But I think it’s also because Hasrul was there la. HAHAHAHAAHHA.

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However there were some nice excerpts from New Paper’s 9th August edition. I like the one with the three grandmothers saying “Independence simi sai?” and the columnist writing about Singapore passports.












Last year's NDP at Yishun Field.
Posted by Audi
The year was 1998 and I can still remember clearly my trip to Istanbul, Turkey.

It was a stop off point before I went over to Mecca and Medina with my family. I was only 11 then I think. After a long week or something I remember coming back to Istanbul for another couple of days stop and I saw snow falling in a city. The first time i saw snow was in Oz and it was on top of a glacier and I almost skidded off cos my mom gave me a snowball right in the face.

The trip to Istanbul was awesome! The pretzels were generously HUGE and hot and the town square was big and everything was Moscow-ish. The culture grabbed me by the throat. I knew I had to go back there but the recent earthquakes have been putting me on hold.

One of the things I brought back from Istanbul was an English translated Holy Book, one of those things I really really wanted at that point of time. We were on a tour of a Qur’an printing factory.

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You can still smell the printing solution.

All these while ive been reading and reading the Arabic writings and knowing all the rules of pronunciation but I know squat of what it’s saying!
It’s like you’re reading hanyu pinyin and u can fluently pronounce all the words but u noe nuts about what it’s saying.

I still know how to read Arabic - much better than the self-proclaimed I’m-more-religious-than-you-Audi Hazrita (Hasrul) – but sadly after I bought the book it has never been opened. It went around; from on the study table to inside the cupboard…. for the next 8 years.

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Gimme the time and space and I'd read all these like i'm reading English.

So the last few weeks when I was on a hiatus doing some soul-searching (cos I found out that what we think we know isn’t what we know and we’re all being fooled by government scientists….) where I somehow came to a conclusion that most religions are intertwined together somehow.

It’s like finding out that Alexander the Great was in fact a prophet and is indeed mentioned in the Bible and Qur’an. That for some reason most cultures all over the world speak of this huge flood/disaster that wiped out a great deal of the world. Astounding.

I know so much about the Bible, it’s contradictions, it’s modifications and all the seven other Nicene creed branches of Christianity and stuff like that. But I know so little of what’s in my own Holy Book. It’s amazing how I still regard myself as a Muslim. ( I don’t pray, I’ve eaten pork and took a sip of beer, though unintentionally for both, and nearly had sex.)

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My favourite short text.

I opened the book up and….. I have nothing to say. The feeling is different. I’m like “All these years ive been repeating these lines over and over again and this is what it says?”

I read about heaven and wine… I read about hell and its fire… I read about family values and journeys of the prophets. Somehow I connected many of the things around us and gosh all about the flood…. The way things work…. Secrets under our feet and all these seemingly simple ways we think that spark wars and gosh… I have nothing to say.

It’s like the Taoists were right in a way that no matter where you are in history…. Everything is the same and things just go about in circles.
That human behavior is still the same; we get angry we become sad we fall in love with girls two years younger etc etc etc that I start to realize that the only difference between us and the people of ancient times is….. nothing. Just maybe some key technological points.

It’s interesting to point out that the history of man probably doesn’t go further than 7 thousand years. Darwin was gay.

Accidentally, as I was reading, I twitched and flipped over one side of the book. It turned immediately to a page and I saw that a piece of photograph was stuck in between it.

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On it read, “4 yrs old. Kindy school.”

I flipped it and after what I saw was on the photo I went, “My God…. Was that me?”

I guess it’s inevitable you lose your innocence as you grow older. At this point of time, I’d say, “If you wanna risk anything…. Go ahead and do it. Have all the fun and rampant monkey sex you want. But once you reach a certain age…. you had bloody damn well better knock some sense back into you.”

It seems as if there are more things that we should do than idolize movie stars or writing the best horror script or slug all day long in an office. There’s just some hidden side of the world out there that needs more people to realize that there is.

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I look like Mr. Tan Chin Boo!

I’ve planned my future already. I’ve talked to Tharik about it and he seems to have noticed a few things that I have and made some similar plans as mine. I’m just afraid if I told Aik and Henry they’d be in furious rage at the both of us.

And so i wanna give them the time of their lives before I go.
Posted by Audi Labels:
Sunday, August 06, 2006 | 0 comments  
Last Saturday I was over at my friend’s project 3 shoot in Bedok as their main actor.
Justin, their director, was planning some stuff with the DOP, Rahman, after lunch so the rest of the crew (Ke Song and Deborah) went out for some smoke.

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Ke Song was like pulling me to follow him cos he has “something cool” to show me and he had the 1.5 litre coke bottle waving about infront of me.

Maybe he’s gonna piss in it eh?

But then he did show me something cool and it was awesome; a home-made bong!

A bong is basically this thing ppl usually use to inhale huge amounts of smoke/drugs/blabla. It makes the feeling more intense.

It was cool!!! He lit a cig, melted through a part of the bottle to create a hole, put in the filter end of the cig into that newly made hole and he started inhaling from the mouth of the bottle.

In an instant a dense cloud of cig smoke formed in the bottle and I ‘m all WAAHHH!!!!!!!



Just one of those things you tend to pick up on production shoots.

P.s. Thanks Kwang Wei for the camera!




Posted by Audi Labels:
Friday, August 04, 2006 | 0 comments  
PROJECT THREE!!!

WOW!

When I first came up to the first location we were to shoot….. it was only my crew and I. 4 ppl. The other one more pang seh us.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere were my casts, their girlfriends and even more came plus friends! Eric was there Kang Sheng was there Kai Xiang was there and we actually had a total of one, two, three, four, five… SIX cameras filming down our project three shoot!
After everything we all held hands and sang happy birthday …..

LOL wth so popular….??? Daniel was saying our group is the only one who has the most number of ppl involved, talents and supporters likewise. Seems like Aisya had it easy to get people to be our talents and Kai Xiang was more than willing to help me with the lighting (then I scared him off later)

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Aisya holding up the slate. Zhonghui trying to show a confused Chia Xin how it looks like to smile like me.

But jia lat I think I did a lot of mistakes. Daniel was recording me loading the camera and while I was explaining and all that I realized I loosened up the film from the spool… means the negatives were being exposed!!!!

I kept quiet for a while (about… 15 minutes)… then broke it to them over lunch.
A long heavy pause. Knn die....

Then OMG we say Andrew! We disturbed his holy ritual of buying Japanese food from the stall (shinto-nippon-dojo-ari-desu. lmao) and he said sth like “it’s okay…. It’s a daylight spool so it should have blocked some light….”

…. Okay.... if you say so..

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Surya.

I brought my Armani suit for Zhong Hui and Don….. size 42.. and it fts perfectly on all of them! Wootz sibeh damn lucky.
When they saw my suit they were like “whooaaaa!!! Armani seh!!!!!”

But actually no la its no that im rich or what… I buy from warehouse sale LMAO. They sold it at 75% discount that time...

Zhong Hui was looking at his reflection in the mirror.. obviously very happy and he said, “I nv wear suit before. This is my first time.”
Muahaha I feel so honoured HAHAHAH.

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Tharik loves these kinda shots.

It’s a horribly new experience working with the film camera. Being the DOP had a lot of people breathing down your neck because you had to set up the set and do all the lighting and everyone’s waiting for your cue to say “ok it’s fine.” Because nothing can go on if there isn’t any lights rite?

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Problem was I had no idea when was the “right time”. All the while I was nervous and I had to turn everyone’s attention away to Aisya by telling them she was gonna brief them. Surya brought his pretty girlfriend over and so she was a guest on the shoot. So I took her as a benchmark on how far im pushing the people around with waiting. The moment she got agitated and fidgety I knew I was starting to pull it too long.

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The blemishes on my face are as textured as the Bolex's camera body. Can i go kill myself?


Shooting through the Bolex was a pain. Kai Xiang read the Bolex manual and it said sth like only 1/5th of light coming in through the lens is shown in the viewfinder. So even though we were shooting under bright sunlight….. what I saw through the viewfinder were just shadows and blurry images of people moving about. It’s anally difficult to frame!!!! You cant even see the damn guides!
Then my sexy long eyelashes (that my sister is dying for) kept getting in the way lmao.

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Wooo action seh the cameraman.......

We are guided of the exposure only by means of reading form the light meter. Like… 80 lux means what f-stop then must measure distance from subject to camera. I thought we could work with only one person behind the camera…. Eventually I had to have three or four for measuring, slate, lens dials….

During shooting my camera stopped rolling all of a sudden. It happened many times and its all because I never wound the spring to roll the camera. I think ppl see me wound the camera also scared I break the bloody thing. Damn doo lan.

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Ke Song getting revenge on the Mofo Boss..... i mean Mafia Boss.

We had about Seventy five thousand dollars worth of equipment on our trolley and they probably weighed about a ton or something. We had to push it from one end of Ngee Ann (Sports Complex) back to the FMS block which is near the entrance of school… and up a hill…. And then to Blk 50. Ke song had trouble pushing it down the hill cause they all started dropping off and the cars coming form behind the hill cant possibly see him and they were all like zooming around. Scary stuff. But we lived. So there.

Just wished I had my Toyota Liteace!

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The holy Bolex in the evil toilet.


Durng the break time before setting up again Ke Song was showing of his “Archer Fish” skill……. He gargled up a lot of snot and shot it up at the ceiling! SHIOK MAN. One day I will try. Maybe can attract girls!

Then it was setting up with Kai Xiang.
For the record… no ghosts appeared. Bu scary also la…. Only the smell of piss bothered us. I think the older you get… the smellier your piss is.
We had an adult tuition grp for the night and they were coming in pissing and stank the whole place.

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Daniel pretending to do work.

I intended to have this grimy, florescent feel to the picture… like those Sadako toilet scene kinda stuff. But then we just didn’t have the equipment (had knowledge!!! A lot!!! Got kai xiang!!!) to hand the lights up on the ceiling. So.. ZZz…. My night toilet shot become afternoon toilet shot. HAHA cb.

But I think it’s actually quite nice.

I discussed with KX and we decided to put on a yellow-sepia filter infront of the lens and tada…. I think it turned out very nicely. KX understood what I wanted and he went all the way to touch all those burning hot redheads. I have a phobia of hot things being above my forehead so while he was up there i was on the flor clapping my hands going, "Jia you! Jia you!"

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Fixing up the lights so the shadows fall right where i want them to.


We took about two sweaty smelly knnccb hours to set up. I’m just so shocked that the rest weren’t pissed off. Actually they were having fun talking outside lmao.

P.S. I was about to sleep right after writing this draft and then suddenly i smelt lots of piss and toilet smell in my sister's room where i sleep. I looked at the cat.... went outside.. still can smell... eventually found out it was all over my hands and hair and shirt. EEEWWW!!!!!!!!

Eventually it dragged on too much and Yvonne came in with her sleepy eyes going, “Can we shoot?”
Her first lines after 4 hrs of silence. Haahhaahaha.

At the same time I had to handle the cb Noise Singapore assignment. I just blew tht one away and finally admitted I cant possibly do two things at the same time. I’d just piss off my crew further. Rather not risk that. So I asked anyone near the camera to “take a snap for Noise Singapore!”
Daniel did a bit…. Not bad too.

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When we started work, my shirt was white and it fit my body. By the time i got home, it was two sizes bigger and seven shades darker.

We ran into the problem of TOO LITTLE film. We actually cut out an entire scene (the first one). The afternoon set we already used up 110 feet of film.. leaving us 80 feet left… 10 feet for safety. Tha’ts like… 2 minute 45 secs of shooting at 24 frames per second. In other words…. …… too little film la u dumb or what?

KX’s grp actually shot only on one film roll, in only 2 hrs. Apparently his film and its location is too holy to be revealed so cannot ka jiau him to use it lmao.

Ke Song and Don were our talents. I LIKE……. LOL. Some of the most cooperative talents I’ve ever worked with.

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Director Aisya and Producer Yvonne.....


There was this time I left the toilet (after dunno how long) to get sth and when I came back the whole place was smoky cos they were smoking Marlboro Red. I can see Yvonne’s face turning sour so I thought maybe they shouldn’t smoke….. but then I saw the trails in the spotlight and it created this whole dirty smoky ambience and I thought, “THIS IS IT!”

So I took a Marlboro Red and smoked a bit to add more ambience (btw It’s been 3 weeks since I smoked ok I QUIT ALREADY!!! cos I found out my girl friends really dun like) but after a while I almost knock out. -.-
Marlboro Red is too strong for me. By the second step I took to the camera I was already tripping on the flat tiles. Really buay tahan.

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Mafia in the DarK

So.. that’s pretty much it. Fun project…… felt so much like NCC sai kang time and ooo yeah the teamwork was just smooth sailing…….. but dunno why the lan jiao Daniel always get headache at the wrong time. -.-

We had some problems after that regarding putting the equipments somewhere for the night and there was this long discussion of who shld stay over. It was already 1130pm. Eventually we left it all back at the FMS cage’s holding area, under the security camera. So if ppl wan to come kiap kiap they will be on cctv!

So here I am at home… trying hard to figure out how to bloody transfer RAW files frm KX’s camera. AWESOME CAMERA! Canon EOS 350D. Not bad. I will ask my sister to buy hee hee.

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Zhonghui’s picture above was a cropped version of this. NOT BAD RITE?!?!?!?

But im still scared…… its like I feel I did sth wrong during the shoot. Maybe I nv exposed it properly? Maybe I nv load the film properly? Sianz.

I still wanna do more film productions… it’s fun! Sweaty sweaty fun! But wow if I run my own film production…… then it’ll be like what KX said, “You are so demanding. Next time I dun wanna work with you.”

Lol…. Moral of the story – …… …. Say, “Thank you to your crew all the time.”

Thank you…..


The Mafia in the Dark thing is a parody of a Dogme 95 semi-musical film called "Dancer in the Dark" starring Bjork. EVERYONE should watch it. It's really something. Have a search on google. It's not musical as in gay-music but it's like surreal/electronic kinda music. It's Bjork! duh!


P.s. Visit Kwang Wei’s blog for a little dose of wickedly silly humour. He has some of his shoot videos up as well.
P.P.S. All Behing the scenes photos above were taken by Kai Xiang’s magnificient Canon 350D. Awesome camera. All outdoor shots taken by him.

P.P.P.S. I NEED YOUR OPINIONS! These photos are possible submissions to the Noise Singapore thingy so I need your opinions on which I should send in and which I should delete/burn/throw away etc etc. Your opinion matters! Kam siah…..

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