With every new term comes new stories. Students would come back from their adventures during the past two weeks, sharing/blabbering their experiences. Some do it in an informative tone… others do the show-off stuff which normally including words like “I just find their way stupid la…”

Shaun went over to Las Vegas and Los Angeles over the past two weeks and got back some candy from the US. Awesome… now I’ve tried the REAL gummi bears. I think they’re much more sweeter than the ones here.. a bit too sweet than I liked my sweets to be. There were also the Jelly Beans… that was nice.



Then Charlene spent her holidays with Jolin in Taiwan. Yeah… lucky girl she is.
And gossip time!!!!
Jay Chou’s a flirt. Story is… he was going around flirting even when he was with Jolin. During Charlene’s KTV session with her.. jolin kinda flipped and asked for the next song everytime a Jay composed/sung number came up. Whooo what a tension.



The rest have been pretty much in Singapore… doing their stuff perfrming concerts, entering in Noise Singapore (which honestly I’m really fucked up about), working on Singapore Idol and private projects.

Oh yeah.. gossip time again!!!

The Singapore Idol votes are useless. No votes cast really affect who gets in or out of the round… they are actually hand picked by the dudes with papers in their hands in the studios. The votes are just to earn money… or so I was told. And that hot chick Gerladine.. she brought in the most money. SO damn!!!! I was spot on! My dream sex partner.

I saw Deaf Ku ku (Daphne Khoo la.) today. Pretty as always with that voice.

Shah was eliminated from the Anugerah Skrin thingy. Some weep. Some cry. But this is the business. He’s THE favourite for the show (for obvious reasons. Have you seen the other two guys? Faggotish) so my thought is that they want him quickly out of the show to do other bigger things.



Which is what happened.. he has already been offered (and signed) a contract. A growing star right under my nose….. and one I took jelly beans outta his hands. Lol.


Javis’ bday was today and like I always do whenever one of the guys are having their birthdays, I’d think of the present that has a lot of subtext in it. Or meaning. Or whatever.
For don’s bday I made him a T34/85 diorama which was documented here on this blog a year ago. For henry I did him that awfully hilarious post called “Le Henry”, also in the links.

For Vis, I got him something for the price of SGD 10.40. I bought it at the stall beside Northpoint’s Harvey Norman at the underpass where so many lazy beggars are standing there just waiting for money. The old couple and the harmonica playing man are cool though. Support them!!!

I got vis a nice green Malboro Menthol for him. And also threw in a lighter. Muahaha….

So what’s the subtext? I was very anal on him when he smelt like cigarettes up till beginning of this year. So anal it is that one day I caught up with him and he went,”Fuck you la everytime I smoke I scared see you cos you’ll kpkb..”
Then I was feeling low one day and took my first stick with him. Never touched that thing again. So buying him a packet and a lighter is supposed to have some sort of meaning to it rite?

But his girlfriend was with him. Of course! I cant frigging pass the cig to him. Vis had me join them in their KTV session. There was a myriad of Chinese songs on the playlist.



Suddenly An Jing came on and my heart beat faster. I felt something coming up.

“Audi.. nah.. you sing…”

Zzz…. They purposely added it in for me. Im so sick of the song.

After Singapore Idol, I didn’t sing anymore. No. now I wanan do sth else. I wanan work on voice talent!


Paedophiles made this.

While we were walking back from safra at around 630… sth suay happened.



Apparently a kid was knocked down by a motorbike. I cant imagine what the hell happened because on the other side of the divider were pieces of white things and a single sandal lay about 20 feet from the body.



We came just in time for a police car to come to set up the blue tent over the body.

I don’t know why but I kinda run up the nearby mound and sat down. We were supposed to go to northpoint to meet ong kiat. He joined us soon enough.



We sat there for about an hour… god knows why. I was waiting to see the drama unfold when the parents of the kid came by but vis said they’d usually go to the mortuary straight.

I saw the police carry out their reports. The motorbike guy was still at the scene, being questioned and stuff. Pretty soon… one by one… his friends.. his girlfriend.. came down at the scene with their bikes and helmets… crowding around him. He had a tattoo on his back and arms and all that. Whooo….



Then photographers came by and they lifted the sheet off the body to take pictures, trying os hard to shield it from the public. But the public being who they are… lined themselves up to see the body. I saw the feet and hands…. They were already yellow-black.


The hand was poking through the sheet the whole time.

I wonder what the kid was doing before all this. Ong kiat became terribly….spastic.

I went,” Imagine the last guy he was sms-ing. Must be sth like – im coming to safra now.”

Ong kiat goes, “Then eeeeekkkk – BOM! He fly across the road.”

“ya ya then the friends all play at safra.. when they finish they come out going like – wah lau the cb kia pang seh us sia!!! Next time we don’t find him!”

“Then they see – eh got dead body got dead body! Waahhh!!!!!”

“Lol then they sit there for an hour watch the thing and laughing.”

Then kiat goes,” ya la then they call their friend then skali the dead body ring! Everybody all run away scared got ghost and never come back”

“And the body stays there and rot and gets run over by cars. You are evil knn.”

I would hate it anything like that accident got closer to personal space.

Dinner at long john after that. I raved and ranted and spewed all the eff words infront of yuan qin, his girlfriend, regarding the recent bastardization. It’s the first time I talked about it out loud and pretty soon I listened to myself and thought…. What a fucking CHILDISH problem!

Vis and kiat started laughing and going like ,”Wth this kinda thing also can have problem…” YK gave me the blank look.

Lol what a fucking childish prob la…. Compare that to the entirely new fued between Vis and Kenny? Now that’s sth on a higher level. Vis saved clara and don’s ass, yo!

The story is that Kenny has been hangin out with vis since The Big Oops him and I had last year. They hang out and stuff bla bla bla and seemed like everything was well off. Then recently, vis broke up with yk (probably for a breather… which everyone needs) after had it going for 2 years now. Suddenly… Kenny comes over to yk.. starts talking.. chatting.. going out.. flirting… and everything might have been fine until… he goes to vis and says, “eh I want to jio your ex-girlfriend.”

BOOM.

I think it hasn’t even been a week. Having your friend who has a very naughty track record going after ur recently broken up girl? Now THAT’s what you call a womanizer.

And then… the double whammy…

“I think I also wanna go jio Clara.”

And Vis says the Donbei Faction is still going on. Kenny says, “Nvm.. fun what.”

And BOOM!

Now Kasson’s gang is on the lookout for him.. so is Kai Xiang’s…. and just today we had some people in Ngee Ann set up for it as well. OWNED.

When oh when will I have that kinda support. See… I knew it.. I shouldve had a brother!!!! Put my nerdy sister somewhere else!

I slit the cigs and lighter in Vis’s pocket. He turned at me and pat my back, “WOW! You are a good friend sia.. you wan me to die faster!!! Haha!”.

There you go.



“Look at this xia lan face…” - Vis

Posted by Audi

Grab a cup of Joe, Sam, Bob or Ah Tan. This will be long. Or skim through like the bloody white milk you are!

Just when i'm planning to stop blogging, fucking jewcake spammers litter the girl's blogs. That's all i needed start blogging again.

School starts at 1pm for me now every Monday. Sweet. I was about to bath when I thought id check the school mail while someone’s laying the smacketh down in the toilet and lo and behold! School starts at 1.

The last night hasn’t been easy for me. Sleeping was a pain in the ass and there was this burning pain in my chest. You know how some quotes or figure of speech thingy sounds so stupid? Like… “burning in my chest?” Well actually it really does feel like so. And that “heart sank” thingy is also real. Whatever.

I dreaded coming to sch today. One, for the big huemangjobous problem im going through now and another because it’s MALAY SOCIETY module!

I mean.. geez…. I’m known to be the biggest racist alive. I’m the biggest discriminator around, dissing anyone just for the skin colour of hair texture. It’s like I’m Hitler and I’m dreaming of the perfect Aryan race.

I came to class and the first thing my tracher Karthini said to me was “Put on this tag”.

I read the tag and it said,”Anak”, which means child. Oh geez.. icebreaker. Let’s stand in a circle and memorize each other’s name!

We had to throw this sepak takraw ball around, saying the word on our tag followed by our name.

So the whole time I was going, “Anak Audi… Anak Audi… Anak Audi, dammit!”

I remember being disgusted by the ball because images of skinny faggots in small girly shorts with their ba long longs hanging out shouting, “Sial” or “Sua” or whatever they have, jumping about with their huge foreheads… eew.

One thing I noticed is that in the class of 20, there were 17 chinese and 3 malays (including me)… and no Indians! Ok so the last few words weren’t necessary.

Then teacher started the lesson and introduced us to the Malays and what they mean.

And it was a real eye opener.

I learnt that malays pretty much started off as sea-farers, wandering around south east asia. Historians cant even put a finger on where they came from. The western view is that they came from Yunnan in China. The Asian view is that they were those people you see in Borneo.

You know what I think? I think they did come from China. Why? Because duh.. China and Africa are the mothers of civilization. And have you seen the Mongolians? They look like a mix of Chinese and Malays! So.. brother brother dun fight each other knn. And the people of borneo.. god knows where they came from. Maybe it’s true as well. Maybe there were two colonies who mixed together, form china and borneo, to form the malays we have today.

Im not sure abuout other people… but I noticed two different types of malays running about in Singapore. One, they have fairer skin, their skulls aren’t humongous and basically have a much more appealing body structure and so on. The other one have huge foreheads, funny shapped jaws, thick lips and they really do look like people you’d see in Sarawak and so forth.

Based on this, this is why I conclude that there could be some mixing with the people of borneo and china. Let’s discriminate now… do the successful ones look anything like those freaks you see in sec school? At least the successful ones can walk straight…

But this is all my point of view so its not the teacher. Anyways We were then asked to make our way to Kampung Gelam in Bugis. Own time own target.

In sec school.. the girls craving for sex and attention would go, “ Haiyarrhhzxxcx…… dun go lerrr…. Waste time onli… I wan 2 spend time wif moi babiee….” And go to block 744 to find guys to fuck their fat thighs.

But no.. this is poly. We are all men and women with brains and attitude. So we went. I was Bugis anyways.. can go shopping.

Made my way with Ke Song, Cia Xin and Fredy. I’m hanging out with adults, for once!

The excursion was set to educate us about the malays in Singapore and yada yada yada all those NE stuff. My first reaction was a big fat warm yawn.


I didn’t know where the hell Kampung Gelam was. Until I saw the Sultan mosque and went.. ohh…..

Cos my dad brings us there a lot of times to eat at Zam Zam… best murtabak and prata in the region.

It’s only quite recently that I realised about this two levels of society within the malay community. And that’s where my discrimination started to get some focus. At the end of the day I wasn’t hating the entire race. Just some parts of it. I’m glad to know my dad came from the respectful line of malays, those who didn’t come as animal worshippers. As he went about on his business trips, bringing us out for dinner with his business partners who were successful malay men… I kinda noticed all these differences between them and those low lifes you see in stereotypes aka under the blocks. Basically the major difference is that one of them works hard the other doesn’t… which applies to the whole world.


Here’s my teacher.. whose father’s name is the same as mine. Khalid… Khalid Johannes McMahon.. LOL.

She brought us to the shophouses for a little talk. In Singapore, shophouses = artsy fartsy craft shops. Noticed that? Everytim u see a shophouse it’s always some small time fashion boutique, art house, designer places and all that. Why, god.. why?

She told us aout the history of these shophouses… which were built by the white ass blond ass hair british when they spread their evil colonies across south east asia. She told us about the five foot walkways which in their time was sth innovative.


Further into kampong gelam.

We were then brought over to the smallest street in Singapore, Haji Lane.





My dad loves to talk about the malay history. I remember many times afte we prayed at the sultan mosque, he’d talk about how all the pilgrims from the region would come to Singapore for a stopover before leaving on that 2-3 month ship ride to mecca. Many died of course. I could die in a 13 hr plane flight from England to KL (Hi kiong kong! Lmao).

He’ll always point out where did the original coast line was before they reclaimed land… what was around that time… what they were selling and all that. Well he’s from the 50s…

For some reason…. The area felt very Kuching-ish. Then I realised it was the shophouses. Then.. duh! British colinising in Sarawak = total bastardization. The area kinda looks like the market along the Waterfront.

Check out my kuching trip in the links below if you’re new…


Mentos, part of the game.



We were then brought over to the Sultan mosque. One of the reasons that keep me away from going for Friday prayers is the smell of footsweat made up of the hundreds of people coming and taking their shoes (God will condemn me but I just wanna give a shout out, hoping sth will change). Why is this so? Why why why why why?!?! Is it so difficult to wear thicker socks? Is it so difficult to drink more water??

But I might be going for Friday prayers again. I found a nice secluded mosque near here. Well it’s been seven years of blasphemy… time to change I guess.

Teacher briefed us on the five pillars of islam.. and the history of the mosque. It started out in the 1800s as a small time wooden mosque which stood for a hundred years. They then got in an Irish architect to rebuild the mosque into solid stone. Ye Irish men got ideas from the Persians and Turkish, he did – spotted all over the mosque, it was.



Then the juicy facts of the mosques. I love this kinda stuff.

The dome is made of gold.

Nah just joking.

When the mosque was being built, people from all over wanted to contribute to the building. Some donated money, other donated other things. But the poor cant give money otherwise they’d die. They also cant give food cos they’ll die. So what they did as sign for their contributions was donating hundreds of those ketchup bottles our mothers have at home.

What useless piece of junk, you say? Well ye Irish man cried a tear, he did, and proceeded to keep all the backsides of the bottle. What he did then was stuck in all those backsides onto the portion below the dome.. which is what you see is the black portion there. And that, my friends, is classic appreciation built on emotions and not anal rational thinking that *ahem* the *ahem* has been shoving up our asses.

The former Istana was nearby as well. We were told of the big hoo haa between the gahment and the descendants of the istana. Gahment wanted to change into one of those…. Meh you know their trends. But the descendents of the king not be wanting that! Gahment fought back that the land was Singapore’s because the Brits actually took it a long time ago, just letting the king reside there as a gesture of goodwill. Because when you spend so much money on a house, you SHOULD own it right? *stares at HDB*
But the descendants said no. Gahment used their classic tactic, “OK LOR… I WiLL NOW GIVE YOU BIG BIG MONEY” and checked the measly allowance that has been granted to the descendents of the king by the british. In total it’s about a few thousand. But distributed to 79 people? That’s like 300 dollars per ass. So gahment said, “NO PROBLEM! I GIVE YOU TEN TIMES MORE THE MONEY! Then you come lick my backside ok?”

So the decendants were given a bongjonious royal sum of FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS…… per year.

Wow.. if I had four thousand dollars per year… wow… so much money…

Of course, this sparked a lot of those “Gahment chee bai racist!” and “Gahment sibeh chao tar heart!” kinda stuff. Add that with the riots and stuff in those times and now that old guy cursing the gahment or all those racism between the old people finally makes sense.

Well it make my dad’s ramblings on the Chinese make more sense. But that’s not enough! So in retaliation I use all his rambling and silent-racist energy and transform it into a loud-mouthed non-sensical nuclear bomb aimed at “my home”. See how all the pieces fall together.. why people act certain ways… just by knowing them more?

This is why history intrigues me so much. The soon-to-be clihe quote of forgetting history means forgetting about yourself or sth is real!

Finally, we were brought to this shop called Grandfather’s collection.


Aweseome place.

This guy collects all those antiques and sells them. They have cranked-telephones, 1950s coke bottles (tons of them), a 50s jukebox… posters.. entire walls of ads torn off from the original buildings… an 1800s coffee grinder… pretty much everything.

I also found those Kiasu toys from macdonalds… and I dunno if my ister remembers this – the KFC coin box that plays music when you put in money. Those were the days when the fat steaming tub were the KFC icon.


Check out the stale soft drinks!


Milk as old as your father.



This dude is a classic. He set up his shot exactly in a way as it was in the 50s. His cash register’s a freaking tin can for god’s sake! It’s hanging from the ceiling and can be pulled up and down. Just like those shop houses in Kuching.

Then he demonstrated all the little old kampong toys. There was the spinning top (that was fun) chapteh.. and so on.

Then he pulled out this piece of plastic. It’s just some thing plastic thing that’s thinner then your normal plastic bag. I’m gonna put it as how he said it.

“Now you see this plastic? Ok this plastic is very special. Cos you see if you take care of this it can last you a life time. You see when I blow this plastic.. it becomes a ball! And then you can play your soccer, or whatever it is. If the plastic break or tear, it’s ok. You just take your magazine or paper, put some glue, put over the whole, then it’s ok you can play again. Then after you finish playing, you can deflate this plastic, fold it at the centerline here.. then if your head is small, you can use it like a songkok and put on ur head so you dun get hot in the sun. If your head not big enough, you can fold it further, ad put in your pocket. So everywhere you go you have your ball. If you wan to play you just blow it. 50 cents for one.”

Then he started throwing the ball up and it just floated like the plastic bad hybrid it is.

And so that ends it.

For some reason I just wanna go back to kuching.

In fact… I will. On the weekend that my family goes to aussie ill sneak over to kuching. Another adventure! Whoo hoo!!!

----

PUDGE

Surpirse surprise!


Pudge has finally been rigged! He can now move like the pig he is!

But of course there are problems. There is plenty is skin stretchingalong the shoulders and the tummy and this is basically because of the lack of polygons for the texture to stick on. So it stretches. Also, the muscles tend to overlap each other when it’s moving so that’s and irritant.

I thought of adding in more character to Pudge so I him have a jaw.

A bit of cleaning up and…


And he’s ready to scream in that rumbling low voice of his!

Those lines you see in his mouth are the skeletons rigged onto him. This is pretty much a simple model but even then the amount of crap in the head alone is a lot. When I grow up, I wanna add facial skeletons to pudge so that his eyebrows can cringe, his nose can enlrage, his eyelids can flip.. and all that. But that’s too advanced for me.



Here’s how he looks like now. So much more character. I tried a few different overall colours for his skin.. seeing what works. I think I liked it when he was green or like this… pale and grey.

----

Last night an old friend of mine, Kiong Kong, msn-ed me. It was about 4 in the morning. The urge of just keeping shut was there.. but what they hey.. he’s and old friend….. LIVING IN THE UNITED KINGDOM DAMMIT!

Bloody hell all my other pri sch mates are in aussie or nz or kl with girlfriends and tuxedoes and awesome body physiques and here I am brooding over imaginary deaths with a skinny faggot body and a brain that takes 4 seconds to count 32 plus 75. GEEZ!

Kiong’s doing fine… living in a big house with a big lawn in cool Sussex. He told me of the major pollution going on in England so I guess the entire façade of a green Pride and Prejudice land was a stinker up my ass. Tally on, lads!

He invited me over to England and I was like, “NO… YOUUU…. Come to Singapore Rich ass.”

Awesome awesome old friend. After a while he got me on friendster, I checked his photosand he’s now a frigging Jap-lookalike. If I brought him around in Singapore all the girls would be swooning over me trying to get into his pants through me. Damn girls.

A point he brought up was the prejudice between the white ass blond ass hair Brits and Asians. Seems like aint got not much nuh mixing there now. And the gahment here is all so anal with the racial harmony thing.

I have a shout out to the old people sitting behind desks, “YOU WANNA FIX SOMETHING?! FIX ME! FIX A DAMNED SELF-RACIST!”

Then that was that. Maybe I could be his roommate once I get the funds and permission to run off from Singapore before NS.

But damn I hate those Brit accents…


I ran into Javis and Kasson at long john today.

One expression – AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nb… is this the almighty’s way of nudging me and going, “You need new friends. Here they are!”

This Wednesday’s Javis’s bday and I already have sth in mind for him.

You know, I cant go to sch with public transport early in the morning for nuts. So this coming month I’m going over to Javis’s place to sleep over and tagging along in his dad’s van when he goes to school. Good ol’ times.

Funny how a year ago we both had the biggest fucked up betrayal ever.

Posted by Audi Labels: Photography , Travel and Adventure

IF YOU ARE GAY, UGLY, DARK-SKINNED, NEVER HAD STRAIGHT HAIR IN YOUR LIFE AND ARE SPAMMING MY GIRL FRIEND'S BLOG, you have come to the right place to spread your..... thing. The TAGBOARD and COMMENTS section is open for you. If that isnt enough, call me at 97623474 and we;ll go find a place at yishun block 469 and we'll settle things like a man. If you're not a man, fuck your seven holes. You messed up pretty badly by impersonating girls so much more classy than you'd ever be in your life by typing in your crack language under their name. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!


kwang Wei had me do this a few days ago. He added in brackets,"He's such a busy man."

Damn right.

7 random facts about me:
1. Over the years of senseless physical abuse like wrestling, throwing myself onto the ground for film shoots, not wearing earplugs during live firing/blasting techno and zit scars, I’ve lost some feeling in all five senses. It’s terribly sad.
2. I’ve been freeballing for the past three months and seems like it’s gonna stay like that. Jay Chou had it right.
3. My IC number corresponds to my birthdate. Only one in Singapore!
4. I can do at least 7 different voices and accents. Kwang Wei call me if you need voice talents lol. 5. I don’t like people who say they don’t like themselves. Likewise, I don’t like people who love themselves too much. In other words, I don’t like myself. Ta da!
6. I plan to migrate to America… before NS… =p. if that doesn’t happen.. ill stil migrate anyways.
7. The only circumcised dude among my homies, yo!

7 things that scare me:
1. darkness.
2. women dying.
3. snuff videos.
4. English dolls.
5. stomach cramps in public/shitting in public toilets
6. Animals being killed (at least don’t let me see/hear it)
7. newborn babies.

7 random music at the moment:
1. Mother – Clean your room!
2. Mother – Go and pray!
3. Mother – Go to sleep!
4. Mother – BANG BANG BANG down the door.
5. Ignorance – Music simi lan jiao?
6. Ignorance – East Timor simi lan jiao?
7. Ignorance - Britney’s the in thing!

7 things I like the most:
1. Computer set up.
2. uhh…
3. ehhh…
4.huhhh…
5. mehhh…
6. hmmm…
7. I’d like to buy a vowel….

7 things I say the most:
1. ccb
2. knn.
3. wtf.
4. wtf u knn ccb
5. lol what the cb you doing?!
6. yeah.
7. owned

7 people to do this:
1. henry.
2. Donald.
3. aik.
4. javis
5. jason
6. viky
7. and all other who ppl who don have blogs ahhaahhalmaolollolownedyoulolwtfknnccb.


Pudge has been coming along quite nicely and zbrush was a tremendous help during texturing.

Im quite happy with it.

I’m currently working on its skeleton so that I can play with it.



I cleaned up the polygons on the face a bit to ready it for the next step of subidividing the model into many polygons. What this does it produce a model with many more polys so that the resolution ownz. Since I’m not making a game, hi-poly is the way to go.


If I hadn’t cleaned up the face a bit, it’ll just turn into a web of black lines… extremely anal to work with. The spine is highlighted in the picture. Three huge spines.


This is the rough rendering of Pudge. The textures are just a mock up. I still have to paint in the highlights and shadows and etc etc. It’s like plastic modeling. Pretty cool.


And the hand.


Then here’s the final render… for now. After I add in the skeleton (in about half an hr from now) Pudge can finally put down his arms. Why I had him spread-eagle is so that it’s easier for me to fit in the skeleton.

One week left till the dateline. Norman said he wanted a robot. What I have is a fat monster. But that’s ok… I can just change the texture into something metallic and say it’s a robot, rite?

I’ve added in a little video in the player below as well.



An email came to me from my school’s mailbox and it’s from Ryan. Finally…. He said my script is good. It’s the 2-act one that I sent to Jia hui to proof read. The three-act tragedy I wrote also got some nice comments from Andrew.

Yesterday afternoon I was spending some time with Charlie as well at Harbor Front centre. We got some things sorted out and all. Six weeks left till the deadline. This Friday he’s bringing lionel and me over to his studio and I heard its freakishly huge.

Second half of the semester starts tomorrow.



Yesterday I spent a day at henry’s house just laying around. I was watching Channel News Asia and then I suddenly noticed that instead of watching old men talk on infocomm things, I was suddenly watching sissy boys dancing around with hot girls. That’s when I noticed I fell asleep on henry’s bed.

But you know.. I’m losing enthusiasm on a lot of things these days. I’m just so upset and disappointed at the climate between the guys.

I dunno.. it seems like the culture here is that people suddenly turn into objects. If that guy isnt available, lets just go look in our spare toolbox and see what we have.

Oh we have some problem with this guy here… that’s ok.. I’ll just use this guy to substitute instead!

My reaction is pretty simple – WTF?

Over the years we all have lost friends to their girlfriends.

I raved and shouted about this to henry yesterday – at first it was 20 people. Then it funneled down to 11, then 9, then further to 6, then 4, and finally it’s three.

I rmemeber when Viky suddenly “disappeared” from the scene, always cuddling up to his girl in class…. So called helping her in schoolwork and support yada yada yada. That’s all fine but suddenly cutting up time significantly between her and us? No no no.

I kinda nagged at him to divide time… to maintain friendship and all.. cos I honestly believe teenage relationships wont last (there are a few exceptions). He did listen for a while….. then disappeared. Occasionally I updated him on what’s going on with us.. cycling over to sembawang to meet him for late dinner…

And then one day his spine disc experienced some trauma…. His back got worse and worse till it wa so painful he couldn’t get up from the bed. His girlfriend betrayed him in the biggest way ever – denying they were ever together, leaving for another man, and placing a curse over vicky’s family and now there’s this whole big family fued between the two. At the end of the day I asked him how many people still contact him and he said it’s probably like.. 3… out of nine. He’s still sick I guess… but getting better.

We keep losing people for ridiculously childish reasons. The only time I remember a relationship being severely severed was with Vis.. when we were out together one night and something happened. I think I wrote about it here about a year ago.

If I were to migrate.. geez I wonder how it’ll be.

Donald and I are planning to migrate somewhere. I’m opting for America or Europe. Not so sure about him. But with the culture within us.. geez I cant go in peace!

We lack the ability to maintain. We lack the ability to communicate, help or support. Well at least not to the kind I imagined it could be. Tharik left for jurong for about a month recently. And within the week no one has heard from him, no one has called etc etc etc. And it’s just jurong! Then tharik left for India for a while and even Henry doesn’t know about it.

Sometimes I wonder if I didn’t have a blog I don’t think anyone would know what I’m doing now.

Over the years people keep telling me that the people I have now isnt really that spectacular or “worth it” and it’s better to just go find some other people. Being the stubborn bitch I am I refuse to believe that. But as always it’s easier to change the way you think if that thing you’ve been warned about happens to you.

Tharik once said that we’re all too different to stay together like it should be. Are our hopes and dreams and interests really that different from everyone else’s?

Oh.. right.. none of us ever thought about what we wanna be in the future… so everything seems like it’s just short term.

_l_

Posted by Audi Labels: Filmmaking

Mein Bereich's counter hits 10,000! But that was three days ago.

I hope you guys had three days of fun oogling at the girls in the previous post.

It’s confirmed… im a nerd. The past three days I shut my doors, smses, msn, etc etc, working on my CG project. Henry’s reluctance to reply to SMS I send to him during my short breaks (a guy needs to socialize you know) somewhat helped me sink further into this isolation thingabob. Thanks henry knn…

I threw away my Centaur model after I found out im not in love with it anymore. I mean.. geez.. the head… and body… the devil-legs… bah…

So I drew up a new sketch.



I call this guy, “Pudge”, in memory of Donald, who just passed on (well it feels like it. I wish he'd reappear somewhere). He likes to use the fat guy during DOTA games so that's pretty much it… modeling fat round things is relatively easy.

I decided to go ahead with the dark and macabre theme with a touch of warmth to it, which is sumbolized by the guy’s face. Look at that.. so cute… maybe I’d put a little bird infornt of it so it’ll be oh so sweet ya?


I then proceeded to draw out a… schematic… view of the model’s head. Because the head… no matter how small it is compared to the body… will always be the first thing an audience sees. So it’s gotta be detailed, crisp, attractive, and so on.

Back in 1999 I was into drawing comics. So I got my parents to buy for me books on drawing (as usual, to their disappointment cos they wanted me to buy maths books). For some reason I bought books that thought me how to sketch animals and human faces. I studied the books religiously… for about 3 months. Then it was gone forever somewhere.
It’s been a while since I sketched faces. Pretty happy with the results…. Except that it has some similarity to a fat Chinese man so I’ll have to work on that later.


I had the body completed earlier on, working on one half first, then duplicating it in symmetry and merging them together. That’s a timesaver.

You can see that no details are on it yet.. just the basic muscles and neh neh..

And here’s where buying those nude modeling books pays off. We havent been thought in school how to model things based on drawings yet. But Norman Majadas Belen (cool name for a CG teacher) left some links on the school database so I went peeky-peeky and learned what I could.


I set up the grid in the 3d space. The side view of the sketch was a bit narrow so I had that stretched a bit.


Then… the anal process begins. I started out with one single polygon (square) right on the tip of the nose, lined it up with the sketches on both axes… and started to duplicate them and line it up with the sketches. It took me an hour and a half to do the whole nose. And about another hour to delete away a half of it and reshape it to what you see.

Thank god my sleeping schedule is messed up; I sleep at 9am, wake up at 5pm, model till 9am… At night no one disturbs you.


Then the mouth and lips appeared. It isnt as perfect as I wanted it to be but all those can be pulled and push later.


Then the chin came down and the eye sockets popped up and the cheek under development. I’ve spent about 5 hours so far.. and the sun is already rising.

After a while I got kinda bored so I tried to spice up my work by shaping the skull so that I could have a sneak preview on how my head’s gonna be like.

And also to form a structure for me to play with as well.


Here’s a mock up of it. They’re not joined yet.. just linig them up. Plenty of problems; the neh neh is too close and muscular and it was supposed to be lower, wtih the head poking up above it, not below it.

But below it is fine I guess… the sicker the better. Oh yeah and I have to make the back loom further. The thing just looks like… I dunno…. Kai ming?


The whole time I worked with only one half of the face. Periodically I had it symmetriz-ation-ed to see the whole face. Meh… looks ok for now. Can be better.

Over the three days I always found this awesome awesome program for modeling which I think I’d be dabbling in for a long time… and soon be well-versed in it like Photoshop. Everybody does Photoshop now. Everybody knows there’s a better feature than the brightness/contrast slider. Everybody knows how to work with layers. Everybody knows Sheryl started using photoshop because I told her to download the program and gave her the cd key (which i didn’t tell her how to use it… she learned by her own. KUDOS!). So uh… yeah its good to learn sth new.

Anyways this program is called ZBrush. Some of the guys have heard of this before. I just found out about it ok so keep your pants up!

Let me show and example.

This is Pudge’s three-fingered hand made in XSI.



Remember what I said about XSI being ridiculously smooth and round-y? Well it’s partly because of the material assigned to it but that’s another thing.

It took me about an hour to model this hand. Yeah.. it takes hours to model. It’s actually quite sickening. This explains why our CG classes are 4 hours long...... and quiet.

So I loaded up ZBrush, that’s available for trial (30 days) at Pixologic.com Have a look see.

And then I roughly modeled my hand again, from scratch.

In half an hour I got this.





The interface is confusing at first… but it’s smooth-flowing when you know how it works. As you can see the details are insane! I added in the veins… the bumbs.. the knuckles… the everything… all n half and hour. It’ll probably take three days or more or impossible to get this kind of thing in XSI or any other 3d software. The total number of polygons for this hand is about two million. The one is XSI is about…. A few hundred?


Just look at the ridiculous fingernail chipping.

Of course, I woud not be tweaking my modeling in ZBrush, just to be fair to my classmates (but once they know how to use it, I’ll go full steam ahead). I’ll probably only use ZBrush to texture my model.

The reason why ZBrush hasn’t taken over the other big names is because it’s essentially a 2.5D modeling software rather than a 3D software. It works like photoshop… But just with some elemtns of 3d. You cant animate it and it cant stay in 3d space. It’s like.. once you’re done with your model, it just drops onto the canvas, and you can't rotate or scale it anymore r anything. It becomes stuck on like a painting, at the angle you left it.

But life has been good and basically every major visual software can be interlinked. So you can do a model in XSI, prep it up further in ZBrush and texture it, then load it up to Photoshop to tweak the colours a bit and then back to XSI to complete your model. So no programme can survive on its own… pretty much like everything else in the world. So be good to your friends!

And reply their damn SMS-es dammit!

Posted by Audi

Bla Bla: I watched Silent Hill last Friday. As a gamer who played the original back in 2000 and developed this sense of love for it, the movie owned. Textures were excellent. The CG was a bit game-ish though but it's probably what they wanted. However, for people who've never played the game, like Henry and Aik, the movie was a total bore. henry said by watching the show he alreayd knows how the game plays. Aik said it was just boring... too many long idle moments. Which is quite true cos the action was never rising steadily. It kinda plataeu-ed for a while. I still liked the whole setting though. Just like the game (if you've played the original Silent Hill, just watch for the sequence she turns into the alley. And smile.) There was this qhole scene where everything was CG including the actors. Henry and Aik didnt notice it. I saw it. muahahahahha!!! It's the last few scenes, btw. Around the climax.

My dad just left for kuching again this morning at around 4am. He takes a hired car through johor, to senai, then fly down to kuching.. all for a cheap less-than-200 dollars including air tickets.

Whenever he returns to Singapore I’ll start buying things. Ohh the feeling of releasing the urge… the urge that mom keeps resisting. She needs to learn that containing pressure will eventually lead to an explosion.

She needs to learn somethings from this “How to be a happy teen” book she bought for me:

“If you keep doing the same things in life, you keep getting the same results!”

Im not gonna touch that book again. I’m an adult, dammit!

Anyways I spent about 200 bucks on books when I visited Kinokuniya and Borders. That’s not bad…. Not expensive.. if you realize that the girls spend so much more on their shoes and clothes and urgh… all that flowery stuff.

I got three books….



Yup… these books are all on CG modeling. CG = Computer Graphics (I cant believe henry and aik doesn’t know what it means.).

The program that FSV has been teaching us to use for CG is called Softimage XSI. They used this program on features such as Van Helsing and I think Silent Hill as well. Because Softimage really isnt the best programme out there… I think it’s strong point is creating uber-disgusting looking models (like grimy monsters…).

Maya is the popular one and is being used by Sony pictures. These programmes usually cost about four thousand a piece. Not. Cheap. At. All.

And how did I get mine? Hee hee hee….

I found this book particularly interesting.



Bought at Kino. I found this book wrapped up so tightly in plastic packaging and a sticker that said, “please refer to counter to check contents of this book.”

I brought it at the counter, they referred me to another counter, that countere referred me to the Chinese/comics counter, and then referred me to another counter. At the end of the day, I lost 3kg, developed buns of steel and know al the girls working behind the counter in Kino. Did you know that one of them is married?

The girl I passed the book to just tore open the cover and gave it to me. Wth….

When I passed my dad the books to buy… he flipped through everything with my mom and they went, “Why did you CHOOSE the books with naked women?!”

I knew it! They want me to look at naked men!

Actually it’s either women or robots. I prefer women.

Then the whole day they keep nagging at me,
“I don’t want you to surf porn okay!”
“You be careful when you read all this stuff!”
“Why is the school teaching all these!”
“Is your little boy okay?”

The last question was put up by mom. She likes to ask all this cb questions. Knn like I wanna tell her my about my little boy like that. It’s just incest!

So my family wants me to be a homosexual with incestual tendencies. I'm so thankful that my door's always locked all these six years.

I got home… read through the books… honestly reading on how they did those models… and then I realised something and found it a miracle that my father bought me the books.

Lol.


Hey this model owns.

There were LOTS of nude models in there. No doubt they are all CG all the way from their bones to their skin.. but ohh myy.. goodddd……

I like it all!


I found this one funny/scary/erotic. The erotic part is obvious.
The title went something along the lines of, “Angry Girlfriend.” That’s the funny part.
Having a girlfriend so huge and a “passage” so deep and big you can be trapped in? That is super scary.


These are the kinds of pictures I wanna produce. Naked girl + mean creature…. It just brings out the vulnerability of our female readers…
I find the female body very vulnerable… like in Silent Hill… every hole means more ways of torture (then comes the tearing the body in half from the vagina. That one was disgustingly awesome.).
So when I see my friends in bikini… my mind turns dark and macabre. Clara + bikini = blood.


Its not all erotica or art pieces… Three professionals are featured in the book and they describe the steps they took to produce the models. This one was talking about how he made the front cover model.

These pros have nice little resumes; working on the Final Fantasy game series with Squaresoft… working on the upcoming movie, Barnyard… working on Xmen3… all that for a nice 90 bucks books.


This one was created on Softimage. Browsing through the galleries, whenever I see a model that’s along those lines or scenery that’s just dark and moody.. I know it’s softimage. Most of the times I’m right. What’s amazing about this model are the creases and folds of skin on the face. It’s not easy to do, really. Those of us taking the CG stream in FSV know that creating sharp edges/deep creases/folds etc is very difficult. Most of the times our models end up being some pink smooth toy out of Kiddy Palace instead of a lean mean fighting bull.
The girmy skin is kinda easy.. it’s bumpmapping. Have a look back on my pevious posts. The one with the head shot of my Centaur.


More artistic nudity. Aww damn I really wanna make models like these…. It’s just… beautiful….. and yeah I don’t use that word often.


Where 3d Porn was born…
Throughout the books all the models started of naked complete with pubic hair. I’m like… why? At the end of everything the model’s gonna be clothed anyways. Ah well… the modelers were guys… lol…. Another reason why I wanna make models such as these. (cheap fun. Haha.)

And finally.. I came across a picture that got me staring at it for quite a long while. Everything else just dropped out of my mind.


Her eyes… the lighting… the straight hair… the skin….
Oh god…
Honestly.. this was how I saw my last girlfriend… before she died.
Everythng was spot on.. the eyes.. the way she looks at you.. the tilted head.. etc… bla bla bla… memories..
memories_@.....com
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I love this.

Would you believe I kissed the picture?

Posted by Audi