Saturday, April 29, 2006
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Could you imagine this?
Say that you are jsut a little young teen boy.... when you wk eup in the morning, and get up from you mattress, the first thing you feel isnt your morning glory erection, but EXCRUTIATING pains in the ass and muscles of your limbs. As you limp towards the comp, switch on the monitor, you see nothing but fuzziness cos of the ever-rising degree in your eyes. And you realise you donthave any other degree but that.
Then you go out for a while, to get a hair cut. As your salon-ist gives u a nice wash and massage, she calmly says,"Your hair very dry ar.". As you quietly sigh and frown, you look into the mirror and realise your face is just one piece of meat covered in black dull skin.
Then when you reach your block, you climb up the stairs, and everystep you take, u start to get dizzy and u think that if u climb all the way to the 12 storey, you will be shivering, numb and near dead.
Ahh yes... that's the dilemma im going through. Sad; only 18 and feeling like a science degree holder.
So that's why i started a plan to do some outdoor activities, reserving my fridays for that since i not be having any school on friday. There's cycling and swimming top of the lsit now. Lion dance has to wait. I dun wanna wait up to 4 hrs after sch for CCA.
Yesterday i planned to go swimming. I needed the cholorine and chicks.
Don said he wanted to go to so i "picked" him up from Tampinese JC... in a bus!
The xia lan kia loves to give crappy directions so i almost landed my ass in toa payoh and he's there on the line calling me dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb OKAY I GET IT I'M A POLY STUDENT WHO STUDIES FILM AND I HAVENT DONE MATHS FOR TWO YEARS enough! He said i took the wrong bus btw.
Two short-tempered guys squabbling.... it leads inevetibly to the showdown; one of us has to cheer the other up.
I win this time. He saw me waiting with my ah beng squat-pose and new haircut with a tail so he kin kin bow down ask if can give blowjob. I say i dun wan.
Eventually we got to Yishun...... like.... after following him run his life. ZZzz... (see him cut his hair. see him bathe... see him eat... la la la la i should try that on him someday).
oh and... eentaully... it was alreayd so late (around 4pm), the rain was coming in, he say cancel swimming.
THANKS! I planned something which i planned to go myself and the plan gets scrapped because of someone who initially isnt even in the plan! Good game!
WE all know don as being the laziest self-centered bastard (before me) So when he said he wants to clean my room i went WHOOOO!!!!!!!! a servant!
and he did a GREAT JOB.
So great was his job that i found about 50 dollars worth in coins on my floor and my parents actualy told him,"Audi sucks. Could you be our son?"
okay no la actually they said sth like,"Could you influence him from now on?"
HAHAHA PPUHHHLLLEEASSEEE...... do my parents really want me to be more like Don? LOL i will be like... sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for two weeks.
Well that's my parents. Always envying JC kids. boo.
Pretty soon Henry and Tharik came. Aik didnt. As Tharik put it,"He thinks you are not worthwhile."
THANKS THARIK YOU KNN CCB.
WE did some gay stuff. We are so sad lonely single teenagers. :(
and btw.. he SPILLED WATER ON MY CHAO CHEE BAI KEYBOARD AND COMPUTER!!!!!! ..... and he still can blame other ppl!
before he get's the upper hand, i caught him surfing porn when noone was around. Just look at the expression!
lol ok he didnt surf porn in my room..that'll be the sickest thing in the world. But just look at the face! LOL
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Henry
Thursday, April 27, 2006
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You can say that im a history buff. I liek to study history, especially when it comes to those that tell of the area im familair with like my home, background and friends plus of course other interests such as World War Two and battlefield tactics and warfare. I dun think there ever was a time i stopped talkin to tharik when we're playing online to secure a position via pincer movement or calculating terrain to the speed of enemy advancement bla bla bla even though we're jsut playing a game of freakin CS! oh and i can never get the Blitzkrieg manuever out of my gameplay style; come in before anyone, make a lot of noise liek throwing nades and riddling area with bullets, pull out when mates comes in then go round another area, make a lot of noise and disruption, harassing them, then back to the place i was before an clear up the rest my mates finished. Of course, this rarely gets me any frags but whatever it's an early opening!
anyways i thought of a few things and figured this might be interesting for those who have their hearts in Yishun to know.
The original village name of Yishun was "Patinggi Wak Hassan", named after the great Malay warrior that lived in the area in the 19th Century. He was killed during a squabble over dinner.
The road leading to Yishun (The one between the MRT and NP) used to be a dirt road no wider than 2 metres. it wasnt as long as it is now, linking from Khatib to Sembawang, but a mere two blocks long with walk paths extending from it.
Northpoint and GV Cinema stands on a 100 year old Muslim cemetery. Walkpaths run through them.
The area of Chong Pang was a thriving market that was famous for its fresh vegetables and poultry since the area was littered with padi fields and farms.
70% of Yishun was thick jungle. The number of original forests in Yishun are slowly disappearing, with the area around Mayang (North View Sec's area) being the most recent removal.
In 1912, the year the Titanic sank, there was an influx of Chinese comng into town. Among them was a Chinese businessman named Lim Nee Soon came into town and bought over most of the fields from the Malays, and grew bananas and durians, which he sold. His business soon grew throughout the north of Singapore and he became the head of the town, after which it was named after him.
During the Singalore years, brutal kidnappings and rapes were happening every other night. Young daughters were taken away while they were asleep, sold to rich traders or broothels in Bugis as prostitutes and many died of diseases or inhumane torture after sexual intercourse. Villagers were so afraid that they dressed up thier daughters to look like young boys as a form of deterent against kidnappers. Some added grills to their windows.
The plot of land that Yisun Polyclinic and Yishun Reservoir stands on now belonged to Neo Taik Soon; the distant great grandfather of filmmaker Jack Neo.
Popular in the school's book of myths, North View Secondary School was indeed built on a cemetery, althought not entirely. The school's new block and southern half of the field is built on exhumed cemeteries.
In March 1942, with the Japanese massacres and torture techniques fresh in the air, residents of Nee Soon committed mass-suicide by drowning, in a pond, in fear of being captured by the rapidly invading Japanese soldiers. This pond has since been filled and the library stands on where it once was.
There exists a hot spring in Yishun and is free for use.
Uncle Lee has never been to Yishun.
20% of the population still think the sun revolves around the moon.
If you havent learn how to ride a bicycle, you belong to the 5% of the residents that dont know how to do so.
Fridays hold the most number times you would see someone with a Chuppa Chup in their mouths.
What is now a landmark of visitors entering Yishun, the Lower Seletar Reservoir did not actually exist. It was mainly flat farm land. Once the Yishun dam was built, the area submerged and disappeared. Similarly, Orchid Country Club is built on reclaimed land that took almost a decade to fill. This was because of the disproportionate number of deaths that occured on the worksite. Companies were afraid that there was a curse and the project was left hanging, until the formation of the EDB drafted foreign workers to complete the project in 1966.
1967 was a year of tragedy for the town of Yishun;
A big fire swept through the village of Chong Pang around midnight that totally razed the market and surrounding houses, accounting to the loss of hundreds of the population.
In another part of Yishun, where the 600++ blocks are, villagers discovered a horrifying act that took place there; skeletons of many Singaporeans lay entombed in the trunks of the trees in the jungle. Explanation was that a demonic ritual took place in which a chunk of a tree was carved out, then bodies of sacrificed victims, whether intentional or not, were placed into the carved out trunk of the tree. Over the years as the tree grew, the new trunk enveloped around the bodies, leaving them entombed. Documents and photographs of this incident can be found in the National Archives Museum.
In an unknown part of the town, police found the body of a pregnant indian lady that was hung infront of a shop house. Her jaw was torn open. Officers took it down quickly but what followed the next few weeks were reports of countless suicides of residents living around the immediete area where the body was found. A witness has quoted what her father said before he maimed himself by smashing his head repeatedly on the wall," You ren zai ni ho mien."
A paranormal explanation to the tragedies that occured was that the year coincided with the Javanese calendar that stated the year was the year of their god of war. The years crossed path again quite recently, in the year 2003.
Before 2002, Yishun Park was a brothel of some sort for teens; contacts would arrange a meeting with a pimp, and a deal is made. This occured on a regular, organised basis that it was easy to spot the pimps; they wore school uniform even when it was two in the morning. A huge police raid was executed that eradicated this trend.
A dead baby was found in the newly renovated pak near Jie Min primary school. However, it was interesting to note that a few hours earlier, the baby has indeed already been discovered by a group of primary school girls, but they ran in horror and failed to call the authorities.
An ageing Buddhist temple is located in the forests beyond Yishun Dam.
There are two airports on the outskirts of Yishun; Seletar and Sembawang Aiport. Both are regularly used with military installations.
Sources have indicated a working mini missile silo (surface to air) housed underneath the ground in two areas of the town. This will be used to intercept foreign missiles or aircraft that is deemed threatening. They were once armed and raised up in the cool night air during the 1998 National Day celebrations when commanders noticed Malaysian infantry and armour congregating inland Johor. F-16s were sent to patrol the north after which the congregation slowly dissipated.
In the unlikely event of a war in the region, Yishun will be declared military property and be the central command for artillery strikes.
Al-Qaeda once tranported a truck full of Ak74s, RPGs and anti-personnel mines through the very road the MRT sits along to Sembawang port where they were unloaded as film props and sent to countries in the regions. This was done in a response to the unpublicised crackdown of terrorists in Singapore by the CIA in wake of the September 11 attacks.
Audi is the most popular blogger in town as of now.
DISCLAIMER: haha ok if u dont already know..... what up there is purely a work of fiction la! Uncle Lee HAS been to Yishun (i think). Of course, ive added in some real info down there like the hot springs and yes i AM the most popular blogger in town. HAHA.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
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Something's up with me. These few days i find that i get pissed off real quickly at all the little bitty bits that's happening around me. Like for example this girl kicked my chair in lecture class and i gave her one of the meanest and baddest look i could give to her, then leaned and asked sth like,"What are you trying to pull?". blah.. normally i'd just brush it off but wth.. i think im having PMS; pre-masturbating syndrome.
hahaah honestly xiao di di down there hasnt been active lately LOL... a very reliable indication something is bothering me i guess. Even when playing online with the guys i get so pissed off so easily that, they dont know it... but behind my screen im smashing and cursing the keyboard and slamming hte mouse up and down the tabletop. And everynight i scream into my pillow for the sake of screaming. It's weird... i think it's school lol.
or maybe.... im turning into a butterfly!
School started last monday and so far it's been a blast! Joyce is no longer in FSV but she went over to Mass Comm and has a whole year of cross-leveling and sprinting back-and-forth exercises ahead of her. My previous class T1A1, the self-proclaimed elite (they say wan! lmao.), has been jumbled up pretty much and i think i like the arrangement now quite better. I mean im mingling with the other cool ppl from the other class (and a really sweet lady i used to have a crush on AAAAA!!!!!! LOLLL!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!! Well, used to. Till she got this omfg-rich-well-travelled-rich-rich-and-parties boyfriend and wth i can never top that; I spend my time playing Dota! My gawd she's like the bomb of all top-scoring students la!) ok moving on....
24th April marked the day i came to school as a Year 2 poly jackass.... and in film! OWNED! Hello Ngee Ann poly!
...the home of huge smiling round faces with slits for eyes.
Monday was fine. Had my IS module elective, Product design and innovation bla bla bla its cool ya... DNT stuff. At least i can put up with this... not some other elective i was shoved into like... ahem... Malay Society (wth?!?!?!). ANyways a short survey around class and i found out that the Jap Language elective wasnt the most popular languiage class!!! WHOOO!!!! which means our kids arent so Jap crazy anymore so finally all these peace signs and "Hello, people call me Takaneru Shinohaku.... but my real name is Ahmad." should disappear soon, rite?
WRONG!!! ARRGHH!!!! IT's one after the other!!!! i foresee a sudden rise of people trying to converse in Spanish (i dont know how the hell Spanish sound like) or roll their tongues in French, complete with the pouty noses and rolling eyes.
"Le Jemboure ce sheli po toun mua Parie ze bua le I support PAP bon apetit!"
haahh sometimes i laugh at people who act so much with their language and so say they will fit in with their natives but omfg..... EVERYONE KNOWS that many of these europeans shun ANYONE who speaks their language.. or converse in English. So OWNED ya outcasts-to-be!
yeah they may be arrogant at times but hey.. at least they are proud of who they are.
ok whatever. I had this Spanish boy as a friend for a brief moment when i was eight and he thought me how to say,"I fucked your mom" in Spanish. His mom heard that and i got lollipop but i never saw him again that night.
My DIP teacher is someone of a very huge but near-invisible ego. I walked into class and the first thing that came to my mind was that i gonna have a retarded teacher every monday morning! Cos he was awfully old and skinny, his hand showed signs of burning, he was wearing this oversized jacket and a cap that was probably two thousand years old because it just hung on his bald head, all grey and faded..... with torquise printing!
But my teacher hear.. mr... Tan Yong Hoa.... is one AWESOMELY COOL old man. and he was sick that day so he had the cap on "to protect frm the aircon cos im tall."
I mean yeah old people go bla bla bla all day but hey thats forgiveable if they actually have SUBSTANCE in their speech. And he does. I mean some people are just so fucked up. He asked around, sitted behind his laptop all frail and weak-looking, how did they ended up in his elective and omfg.... the outcome reminds me of Mr. Lee's recent dialogue.
"orh... (insert accent here)....i missed the last bus... so i was put into here... i dun like this class."
WAAHHHH!!!!! AUNTIE ARR!!! NI TUO PAI HOR!!!! LIMPEI IS LIKE FOURTY YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR CHAO CHEE BAI LA YOU STILL TALK LIDDAT.
then he ask this other boy. Good looking. Probably gay. From Mass Comm.... and he goes...., "I hated all the other IS classes.... i think il hate this one as well."
..... ..... ahem...
Me: Hello... Uncle Lee ar....
MM Lee: ah yes audi... ?
Me: I got complain wan to tell u hor...
MM: Sure thing. Shoot.
Me: Wait i ask you hor. What is your vision of our youths today?
MM: I envision them to be the best there is in the region, with high skill points, high health point, +65 attack points plus a bonus of 25 Intelligence plus 60% Mana regeneration with a Kibald Sword in hand, able to be innovative and inventive and creative and flexible in times of crisis and peace, leading the region in economy, science, and foreign workers usage.
Me: ..... then I got news for you.
MM: What is it?
Me: u is N00B!
So anyways Mr. TYH started talkin abt his daughter and im not joking.. he was verbally PUSHING us to ask abt his daughter!
and when he told us he carries his youngest daughter to the Ngee Ann Playcenter we just shat in our pants.
but then we started to notice he was REALLY pushing it. I mean.. he fixed the projector up... and quipped,"Okay later i will show you about how DIP will work this sem.... righ tafter i show u my daughter."
oookay Mr. blue jacket.....
and he DID show us pics of his daughter! the youngest is now in Sec 2 and he showed us them having dinner.. having an adventure at tanah merah.... VIDEOS of some bday celebration... OOOKKAAAYY!!! WE GET IT!!! WE UNDERSTAND!! A FATHER LOVES HIS DAUGHTERS SO MUCH!!! but cmon this is too much!
thne he pulle dout an excerpt from the news paper that read," ACJC produces 2 top scholars for A levels"
and he boomed,"See.. that's my daughter getting the award!"
................. we shat in our pants again.
And yes.. i did a bit of research and his daughter's name is Tan Li Feng. Cannot mistaken wan.. is confirm the daughter. Surname is "Tan" what!
oh ya he brought us some bananas and chocolates as well. The chocolates are like whatever its nothing special but ooo LO AND BEHOLD MY BANANAA....... that is on the table....!!!
this is special banana. Cannot buy in Cold Storage. Cannot buy in Sim Lim square. Cannot buy in Geylang. and no is not from temple the offering. (siao ar take ghost food!??!)
This is.....
SINGAPORE BANANA!
I think we will noe it's Singapore de banana because as usual... it's uh... notmore than 6 inches. Also.. it's hard, yes... but very brittle. Knock a bit the thing start to break. Not like Thai banana where it wil bend bend a bit then break. U wil also noe its Singapore banana by the taste. .... NO TASTE! nt sweet. not sour.... and also... NO JUICE! But then.. it's attractive and cute and come in green colour foreskin so that is big plus becaus ei dun think ppl like Indonesia banana.... lots of black spots. ee.. LOL. So there u have it. our very own backyard production; the Banana With No Taste!
Today was not bad as well. Did a bit of 3d computer graphics and i am so so so so so SOOOOOO enjoying the class. Ok sure the teacher is the typical nerd u get whenever the subject requires a computer. Meaning... dull.... dull.... uh... dull... nerdy... talks to himself.. and... dull. So yeah. I foresee myself fitting perfectly in the position of "IT Teacher."
the other guy we had, Liswanto, was much much muich more happening. He helps yeah he does he helps. keep asking for help then u become the asshole.
Interestingly, onyl Charlene/ Mrs. Jolin Fan club Public Relations/ Jolin Singapore no1 fan/SCB and I are from the first class. Quite a lot ran off for the Audio stream. Makes a bit of sense though since Charlene and I are true blue hardcore game-addicts and we LOVE anything to do with gaming. WE once challenged who can stay up the longest playing games and i did it with 64 hours and she got it at around.... god knows.. 70 plus?
Anyways little Miss Sheryl from -brokensmile.blogspot.com has decided to take a downturn in terms of contents in her blog. So i guess i need to fill in for a while to keep our tiny blogosphere community alive a bit.
Clara has been quite siao lately with some personal probs and all the bombardment she's getting just for going out with JOSHUA ANG. like wth.... how come when i go see Sly no one come sms me say wan to be my friend!??!?!
I got Uncle Larry's number lei!!! LOL!!!
ok i just i found out im not only developing love handles.... im getting a bit round just abbooouuuutttt..... there. There you go; the cheek area.
Anyways it's about time. Everyone has these periodic lapses of decline in mental or physical well being once in a while but i must say ive been holding up fairly well since it's alreay a quarter plus into 2006.During O level days Mr. Depression came and moved in for a long sour three months.
Pretty soon Donald will be running through his A levels and then there'll be NS for him. Yesterday i sat down for a nice dinner with him (again) at Norhtpoint's foodcourt. We estimated he has one year to go before he gets sodomised. I mean... called for NS. (hahahahaaha Donald's gonna get his first gay experience~~~~)
anyways im having this tempting urge to take two machineguns, slot them on pieces of wood infront of me so that both lay comfrotably infornt of me, then load em up and fire away!
The urge is tempting!
Then the Don mentioned he missed shooting the M16. I told him there's the SAFRA down the road and he goes,"wtf for?!".
And i go,"Well if you need a quickie you can call me...." and he starts giving me strange looks!
".....i have the number to the IMT range.".
I think he gave a bit of a sigh (an elated one. Not an "awww"...) and questioned,"IMT?!?!".
"Yeah... IMT... shoot lasers and laugh at the embarassing 8-bit sound recording of a synthetic 'thud' they call a 'gunshot'."
I love being a wise ass.
"But i wanna shoot live rounds!" he says.
Well if Don wants to shoot live rounds i dun think he should call me for a quickie. I thought he had a contact for live rounds? HAHAAHAHA *small kid, you dun get it its ok move on.*
Failed-jokes aside..... The guys and i are chipping in for our big orgasmic event that's taking place this august, during one of our common semester breaks. Yup.... an ORGASMIC event. Not a HUGE one but a more or less modest one i should say. Yup; we're gonna go all over primary schools in Yishun and teach them MASTURBATION!!!! WOOOTZZ~!!!
awww we guys so remmeber the first time....
btw... a friend of mine.. we all know who.. but i dun wanna say names.... well... You see, our friend here, let's call him W, has an amazingly CLEAN and PURE pair of hands! He has an overall cheeky but still clean mentality and to add insult to my freaking envy.... he can count the number of times he's seen a girl nude. He can!.... It's like... two? Now how many of you 16-18 year old guys can do that?
So another friend of mine, let's call him SA (yes.. some of u are laughing already.), thought that we should give Mr. W here a little "rites of passage" thingabob. At 2:30am, GMT +8, yesterday night, we cornered him to the dark eerie corners of MSN messenger webspace after a hell of a game of Dota, and started to slowly unzip his pants of immaturity to reveal what we call, The Tool. In other words we spiced him up a bit with questions to confirm his readiness and the absolute necesseity of nurturing his manliness. After that we gave him links. :)
Over the course of the next three hours we had W revealing his little secrets and yeah i guess for him to do that filled up a badly neglected space in our tie-lines. It was fun. At first W was all,"WTF do i need to surf porn for?!?!" to "how to off 'moderate safe search'?" to "FUCK sia TAMMY HAS A NEW VIDEO!"
you girls please dont get offended and call us perverts or anything. i mean.. WE KNOW you girls talk abt how big so and so's pancake tits are.....
... and ur shaving patterns. :)
Guys have urges too u noe.
apparently Tammy has a new video (video obtained from better-not-be-named sources) and we watched it. At first it was like....."hahahaah boing boing boing boing" kinda stuff and we laughed at her so called "seducing look" that was given to the cameraman (however it looked like "The Sly" LMAO!). After the fun was over we scrutinzed the video like fuck! So turns out that the new video isnt actaully Tammy. For one, this new girl has LONG LONG LONG dyed red hair which she could use to wipe herself after peeing and her boobs were MANGOES! That's rite! MANGOES!!!
We gave her a name. Taking inspiration frm our favourite super-hero, Spongebob, we named this new girl, MANGOMARY!
After the mango incident W was ADDICTED! I turned down his offer that i show him my manhood (proof that when guys are turned on, they think frm their dicks.) or that I show him how to cum one of these nights. And he was complaining of lousy links as well!
I guess he's not into cartoons.... :(
But SA and I left after he couldnt complete the final act of the ritual; beating off. Ladies, dun expect anything when there's a match on that night.
anyways back to our Mega-Orgasm plans (getting a lot of sex words here arent we?).... this August, six of us, plus another six still-to-be-decided ppl we're inviting, are going to hold our first ever..............
GANG RAPE!!!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no la... we're going for sweaty clean adrenaline this time; TAG PAINTBALL.
At three hundred bucks per two hour match... hey that's cheap. Two hours of pelting Tharik with paintballs til his bruises turn pink and purple and bloody and have their own heartbeat should be fun.
Have a look here at http://www.paintball.com.sg/
School starts next week. With a three-days-per-week timetable.... am i supposed to feel contented?
Ever seen snopes.com? Another one of those urban legend sites. Though it's not a snuff site, i found some pretty interesting pics. Namely, someone's expelled rectum (it's HUGE!) and the outcome of a crook who accidentally fell of a fence when trying to escape frm police but slipped and tore his head off. I dun like these things but somehow i found it intriguing. The site has more to offer though.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
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My recent discovery that i had a mild case of love-handlelicious-schizoporousspongebob, along with other similar cases of dark-skintonio-banderas and other computer related illnesses.... ok what the hell.. all m saying is that ive been very fucked up lately.
i mean cmon... my room is in a mess. The whole family calls it something even WORSE than a pig sty! They call it,"Bangla quarters"! wth!
my hair is in a mess.... my face is in a mess... my love life is pretty much as happening as a dead man's heartbeat and omfg!!!!! Two of my closest friends think i'm gay.
wth! my friends!!! brother brother stay together simi lanjiao wtf?!?!?! six years. haiz. depressing.
oh i just have to say this.... i found out one of my old friends is gay. -.- dotx. Not that somebody being gay is anything bad but wtf i just cant stand it when these sissy ones appear out of nowhere! Thank god my pal isnt those sissy ones. but WTH~! he should tell me sooner rite! omg then that time i slept with him......... 0.0
anyways i thought of my problems and figured what i needed was a boost in self esteem..... like duh.... mr. happy isnt naturally happy all the time ya know?. ..... and maybe learn sth new.
So i thought but waht i needed. Do i need a girlfriend? heck no... i have plenty on my social dinner plate now i cant have another freaking ice-cream-lollipop-goo-goo-bear round to go! I'll drain myself! besides... girls stink. HAHAHHAH!!!!!
Or maybe i need to change parents! Im telling u they are stressing me out like a bloody too too kueh. Its like.. helloooooo?!???? anyone home?!?!?! i've been living here for 6 years and u STILL dont get the picture that i HATE BEING STOPPED WHILE DOING SOMETHING?!?!?! Doesnt my silence mean anything?!?!
hahahaaaaaa i keep thinking abt this and cant stop getting pissed/tickled. Its like my parents are scolding me..... and if i say soemthing... jsut maybe a bit of "No i think you got it wrong" and I get accused of TALKING BACK! WTH~! Then goes on a long lecture of filial piety and respect for elders and islam's point of view bla bla.
And if i go to the other side of the world and keep quiet.... they say im being rude by ignoring. So what the hell do u want me to do?! MIME?!?!?!
Put that into the famous condom issue:
Mother: okay audi i have to talk to you. You do know that condoms are banned in this house and i keep finding them in your roo....... audi audi WTH ARE YOU DOING STOP THAT YOU'RE SCARING ME!!
and when my dad comes it's even worse. I mean he is like overseas for 80 percent of every month so obviously he doesnt know how his two children run their lives!
I was called USELESS jsut for being on the fucking COMPUTER! It's 2006, daddy! Not 1995!
and please.... i noe how to handle my cats, thank you. Im not breaking its arms off.
anyways i thoguht about everything and decided to return to one of my hottest interests; martial arts. Recent experiences have told me i'm pretty much a failure in singing, acting, storywriting, entertaining, gaming, writing and completing things on time. Having the sense that you can beat opponents up and really feel good about it because you KNOW you WILL own them is pretty shiok, dont you think? Not that i'e ever had someone chase with me with weapons so maybe im just farting from my ears but being confronted by a pack of hungry China punks is credible, rite? (btw.. thanks Jason for saving my ass. and Henry wth were u doign just standing there?!!?)
Rejoining Ki-Aikido class isnt exactly what i wanna do cos honestly.... the emphasis on using Ki energy in Aikido makes time turn backwards. Cos normally my Ki-Aikido classes in Woodlands CC would go on with plenty of meditation, breathing exercises, and repetitive lectures on what the hell Ki is and how magnificient babies are cos they are pure. Then the sparring. In the end we'll be sitting on the mat for an hour rolling on the floor and making strange noises with our mouth. and the next 45 minutes doing some moves that resembles Tai Ji.... only 43,245,798,731 time faster.
but honestly.... Ki-Aikido was swell! my balls grew bigger frm the breathing and flexing (and can shoot very far!) and i got to learn moves that are so simple yet bloody effective. And i got to learn how to slice someone with a sword. wootz!
did i mention that, quite oftenly, we'll be flying all over the mat?
But no. No more Ki-Aikido. Gomenasai, Tohei Sensei. Anata no art is just too kom-pli-kei-tato for me.
browsing through the Ngee ANn poly CCA list ( too lazy to look for private martial arts centre.)... i scanned for oen of my favourite sports; Kendo.
I like Kendo a lot. I liek whacking people up cos i truly is chao ah beng deep inside! dun pray pray! but i scared of dark.
in fact hor..... limpei so like kendo ar.... I go Marina Bay go buy Kendo stick ar!!! they call it shinnai. But I got status so i call it..... sword. Even though it made of bamboo poo.I had sibeh lots of fun with it! I whack my punching bag with it... i put my vietnam helmet on my ncc juniors then limpei go ask them stand one dark dark corner and i keep whacking their head and asking them,"Pain anot?". Of course, they say,"Bu tong!" If not pain i keep whacking la! LMAO! Shiok!
But ngee ann doesnt have kendo. NAH BEH!
so i opted for the second best.
.
.
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I joined lion dance. :)
I hope i can recover my Lost Treasures of the Pain-Enduring-Four-Pac that used to recide so firmly on my abs by the end of the semester. ...and increase my bloody agility; I cant stay at 1995 speed!
laptop's down. No pics for the time being.
Sorry for this delayed post...I think its about 2 weeks late? Not a very good blogger am I? Well...ive been busy...with life...
See? Told u I was busy... But anyways...it is unfortunate that our beloved blogger has decided to take a hiatus in his blogging...Well, every writer comes to a point where they have writers block or lack of motivation. Perhaps this will be an opportunity to seek new inspiration and come up with new material. We look forward to your return! Back to the post... This weekend is a four-day weekend, a welcome break from the hustle and bustle of school...Plus the teachers have been kind and have not given any homework. When people think of Easter, the first thing tht comes to mind is probably the Easter bunny followed by chocolate...mmm...chocolate... It is only during Easter that Cadbury and Hersheys produce a special kind of chocolate called Mini Eggs, or Eggies for Hersheys... Basically they're just candy coated milk chocolate but they are sooo addicting... 
There is always conflict between the Mini Eggs/Eggies lovers over which is better. Most people say Mini Eggs are better but I disagree...Eggies are better because they're bigger and softer... Honestly, I could just sit at my computer and pop Eggies non-stop. Its dangerous. So what do people do during Easter? Usually family dinners and egg hunts... And eat lots of chocolate. Its quite fun really. Along with Easter comes the beautiful season of spring. Being in Asia, you basically experience two seasons during the whole year - hot&dry and rainy season. Over here we get winter...bleh...I hate winter. Its cold and ur skin goes dry and scaly. So the coming of spring is always so nice...the weather gets warmer, the sun brighter, the grass greener...ahhh... But anyhoo... I'd just like to wish everyone a Happy Easter!
lmao well hello again little girl. yeah well i am on a hiatus. Had a lot of things flying around me these few days and some of the guys here need some attention frm me. (hahah... need attention from me....)not sure when ill be back again. thats why im letting you, vanila, to run this thingabob for a bit.
The other day i was having a film shoot as an extra for Michelle Chong/Chua at MOS. I stil havent figured out who the hell she is.
lmao wth!??!! ppl can argue over chocolates?!!??! kids htese days eh?
things are getting a bit ridiculous in singapore as well. Just the other day i was watching our Minister Mentor Harry Lee Kuan Yew having a dialogue with some rather cynical youths of the republic. It's sth to do with the election coming out so as usual all the, "PAP you suck ar! control ppl onli!" type of questions appear.
Honestly i find the attitude of the youths quite sad. Imean soem of them were cutting in or smashing the face of mr lee straight on (verbally, of course.)!
its like... wth!?!?!! MR LEE IS YOUR FATHER!
think Star Wars.
WE DONT BE ARROGANT WITH OLD, WISE MEN!
or " MAN" in this case.. cos hojnestly Mr Lee beats all other gahment ppl (in my opinion).
So whatever.. im just sad at how we can be rather ...blunt..or sharp.. or whatever... to our saviour (saviour cos the Brits cant do nuts with Singapore.).
ANyways it seems like some of us here think voting for the opposition is sth cool cos " it's different" .
blah....!!! it makes sense to vote PAP because DUH!!! THEY HAVE THE FREAKing lINKS tO GAHMENT OFFICIALS!!!!
people and their desire to be different/unique. tsk tsk.
uh.. ok.. sorry for the rambling.
but hey! i LOVE winter! i love stuffing myself with clothes! Just look at what i'm in now!
yup.. thats a WWII american overcoat. gotta love it.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
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Do you guys remember that time i went to Kuching and met this guy fromthe M'sian army who just got promoted to second in command in Sarawak?
The one that my dad said i could go find if i want a nice review of the Malaysian army (for god knows.).
Remember? Yeah. that guy.
well.
my dad smsed.
that he passed on yesterday in a car accident.
CAR ACCIDENT!
like.. ...........
Anyways it got me bringin up a few questions.
cos at the same time iw as watching discovery channel and their special two hr documentary on the sinking of the Bismarck.
Bismarck is the biggest German battleship in World War Two.
So of course.... World war two enthusiasts which many of us are.... there were recreations of what was going on on the ship during battle... before it sank..... by just a silly little torpedo launched from a silly wooden British bi-plane.. that happened to hit Bismarck's rudder, crippling it into circles. I cant get enough of ww2 soldiers running around. It pumps me up.
And we should understand that the Bismarck was effing HUGE! and effing WIDE and effing ARMOURED! Go google the Bismarck.
Then i recalled what the guys and I were doing almost everynight these few days.
a typical scene would be Tharik and I shouting our hearts out into microphones..... shouting, "FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD!!!" .... or "WTF ARE YOU DOing THARIK?!?! EFF YOU! TURN AROUND AND FLANK THEM FROM THE RIGHT!"
Then Jason and Aik and henry would be coming around, spread out in a line, crouching lowly, clutching their rifles and slowly moving frm cover to cover int he winter snow, amking their way to where Tharik DOnald and I are.
I can hear them. My 5.1 channel surround sound setup cant possibly miss every clink clank of their boots on metal railcars.
Then when one of us spots the other, a little private duel will becoming, peeking out from roofs, telephone poles, taking potshots at each other. Muzzle smoke lingers in the air around us... revealing our position a bit.
Aik will use his Bren machine gun and lay down a base of fire around where i'm at, and when i hear his rounds losing rythm, a sign he's not concentrating on his fire. i peek out with my Kar98k rifle and land a near-headshot, which only hits him in the chest. After that he'd either run away to heal while i take this chance and lob a grenade or he continues to fight with the injuries. Otherwise he'll fall back to heal and i'll take the opppurtunity to run away.
but normalyl he just charges and kills me with a rifle swing. Lucky bastard.
Then when the final charge comes; to run across the open space to reach the flag and complete the objective, that's when furious mashings ont he keyboard, typing commands and orders, the microphone is getting hot and wet with frantic cursing and the speakers and delivering all the goodness and sweetness of rabid gunfire we were pouring on each other.
It's great fun playing Call of Duty 2 this way.
I find it a great way to foster a relationship. A bonding. Especially first person shooting games like this where tactics play some part. Not some blah game where one can survive on his own. (coupled with the secret-sharing and outings of course.)
But then this game models on world war two. People die and it's real. Too bad that developers havent found an effective way to incorporate the feelings of soldiers for those they left behind; thier families. games like this soemtimes make ppl think that war is just fun fun fun. Just htink about it....... SO MANY PEOPLE swear for war not to happen again. And these people have been through it! like.. duh.... if so many people say that war is bad.... then war SHOULD be bad, rite?
Personally i find it a thrill to be running into the mud.. in the rain... with the guys. It's soem man thing i guess. The girls find it a thrill to go shopping together. We guys find it a thrill to sit down inone corner of the street talkin about how shitty Mrs. Ba Gua is.
lmao maybe thats why im not having a girlfriend yet. I dun understand them! Simple life = cheap life for some girls.
but in any case.. what does this have to do with the passing on of the second-in-command?
Well this guy has a family. He's young. Jovial. Contented with many things. The General of the Malaysian army finds hope in him.
But then he's gone. Like... ta da!
im not gonna go on about how fragile life is cos duh... isnt it?
ive lost friends. I know friends who've lost friends. My sister and I know someone who passed on and it happened to be my friend's brother! It's creepy! One day she comes home and tells me the guy who's sitting behind her during maths class just passed away... then she comes and shows me his picture and OMFG! That guy's my friend's brother!
But the thing about this second in command is that...... isnt he suppsoed to die in soem military way? Like.. war.. or an invasion.. or some infiltration.... or maybe the ammo dump exploded and stuff?
but in a simple drive back home then screech! dead.
Then now i think.. its like... wth la.. i'm a student! i'm an amatuer filmmaker!
Does that mean im gonna die getting impaled by a rigging? burned alive by the huge lights? poisoned by some jealous girl after she puts poison in my make up? or maybe il just grow old and die,.. with a record of achievements behind me.
or maybe insome twist of fate i get abducted by Thai secret service and get sodomized to death.
But well that's the way things go.
Just liek in Call of Duty 2;
i'm guarding a bomb from being defused by Tharik. Ima sniper, and sitting on a ruined house probably 200 metres frm the site overlooking the entire bomb site. Tharik comes into view. I see him running from bush to bush (sometimes just straight on. He cant learn cover and concealment for the love of cheese!), scouting around. He cant see me. I'm just four pixels big from where he is. I have him in my sights. He's defusing the bomb. He;s still in one position. I cant possibly miss. I hold my breath (press shift)........... click!
im greeted with my desktop. I fucking lagged out!
im having the biggest doo lan syndrome right now.
there are six of us, ready to fight all of you.
Ladies and gentlemen, boy and girl, jie jie and kor kor and di di.
Let me share with you some thoughts.
U noe hor people blog for some reason one. Some say that they blog not for anything they just wan to blog. This is of course bullshit la there msut be a reason wan!
Some blog for ppl to read. Some blog in hopes of getting popular. Some are to keep little momentos for their friends and themselves. Some blog ar just to suan other ppl mother and father.
But I guess most of the time ar... bloggers blog in hopes of attaining the highest number of readership. This is confirm.
I must admit that I wil always happy when I see my site stats and see that a lot of ppl come. Dun care whether its only 20 unique ip adresses or sometimes 50 ! dun care if its only 20 hits per day or 180 hits! but as long as I entertain even at least one or two people, I also happy. Because I like to entertain ppl. This is my dream. That why i blog. :)
now ar life so stress for singaporeans. run here run there sit here sit there waste time waste money work whole day get peanuts and then come home got family to entertain and girlfriend to whack up down left right centre. In fact ar... i find that a lot of us cannot laugh anymore. ppl make fun a bit then wan to call police for defamation. CCB UNDERSTAND! noe what is satire?! Satire is no anyhow suan okay! ALWAYS GOT MEANING WAN!
I thanks you all for putting up with all my knnbccbsimiwtfbutterflylanjiaochaocheebai and all my ugly self-photos which I noe sometimes look very ah gua. All this acting is very fun to do. And even more funner when ppl get entertained! See! I should be actor! but sister never give lobang! (translation: she hasn’t made the effort to find an oppurtunity for me to work in the entertainment industry. Not other perverted meaning okay!)
But what I trying to say now is that limpei now got a lot of things happening. Limpei social life now having a major overturn ( I not gonna say good or bad. but I must say I going with the flow).
These few days I go out morning morning come home late night at arun 12 all the time and stay up all night till 6 then go sleep. See... really got a lot of tings happeing.
So I must say that its quite difficult for me to sit down at one spot and update. U dun believe u can come follow me around for one day. I like army scout ar! Pass message to battalion headquarters in ang mo kio... then must rush to tampines to rendevous with squad leader, then take bus to khativ see chio bu and then go dhoby gaut kill enemy general! Is very hectic! So hectic ar wanna pcc also must do quickly wan! Cannot slowly stroke stroke stokre.. must kin kin use three fingers sot sot sot shoot shoot wipe then on the move again!
Thus, I am passing on the baton to Vanilla for these few days (or weeks if she doing sibeh good job) until I find some time to stop, sit down, and write.
Vanilla u on anot? MAKE A SWEE ONE OKAY!
Oh uh... no no no.. I dun have a girlfriend or looking for one so is not girlfriend-related problem.
- Audi a.ka. BroK3n (screen name bo use liao la. u all noe my real name. -.-)
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
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Whahah I still have month of vacation left. Looks like it;’s gonna go wasted cos I really dun have anything planned. The kuching trip have to cancel cos now the gahment decided to bring forward (or is it pull backwards?) the BLARRDDYYY RAINING SEASON!!!! (remember, in Singapore, gahment control EVERYTHING!)
And why!?!!!?!
Cos election coming they dun wan election time to rain!
Remember ar. Vote for PAP.
Huh? What you mean you dun wan? Just vote la. I noe la their upgrading and “better place to live” ball-playing is so true machiam I got girlfriend liddat but just vote la. Especially u all in Lao Kang and Potong Sand. Doing so will make PAP easier run our lives. Eh I mean.... make Singapore more beautiful.
Anyways today limpei wan to talk about women.... AGAIN!
Cos these few days a lot of girl girl make me doo lan. And this girl girl I dunno face dunno backside they come add me in MSN.
Strangers add me in msn is ok but CAN DUN KEEP MSN-ing ME ANOT?!!??! Nae boo you nudge nudge nudge think fun arhz?!?!?! Then I nudge you back you knnccb scold me that I hang your com!
Lucky limpei got strong computer and off ALL my alerts since last time so u nudge also you nudge shit.
Anyways got this girl keep showing me pictures of guys. She say she llike she like! Wah liao eh all the ccb “shuai lEhjHZhzhhzh~!!! *star star star heart star star*” and “eeu think hiee cute mahRzxZZ?” all come out. Noe what is diao? So diao until I cannot sleep understand! I must go doctor whack him up to give me sleeping pills ar! Now im a drug addict. THANKS HOR!
After the torture I notice something. There is a trend on what kind of guys that girls in Singapore like!
I noe inoe... some girls just say,” he must be cute and charming.”
Na beh you think that is like so easy to get wan ar?! Cute and charming not fixed wan leh! I find my backside very cute but some ppl say look like half-eaten PAPAYA!
So I say..... what these girls mean.. when it comes to look ar... is that... their ideal guys most ploplaply have:
JAW LINE.
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SHARP FEATURES
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NICE STRAIGHT HAIR
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and SMOOTH SKIN.
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And it’s either they give the most dao-est smile.
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Or the cutest.
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Its actually quite depressing for us “common-ers” to sit down here and have char bor come sit on our laps and commenting about everything this guy has (which we don’t). Then skali it sound like we all average people machiam rejects of the society; bo looks, bo body, bo money, bo talent.
Then they will go, “if moii boyfriend dun have any of these, I will break!”
DIAOZ TO THE POWER OF NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND!
diaoz x 10^(900,0000)
like.. CAN GROW UP!??! Like as if YOU YOURSELF so special like that! And hor.... relationship is nt about looks only ok!. Some ppl look like boy-god but the mouth so vulgar like china punk boy!
Also ar.... they dun realise that these photos have been EDITED!
Come.. I show you all soemthing.
I downloaded this program called De-Star and basicaly what it does is to erase ALL the evils of photo editing on photographs so that we all can see how our stars all look like! It is sibeh powerful and secret service also using!
So I ran some of the pictures these girls sent me la.
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This is Andy Lau. Actualyl in real he got one pimple down there but the ppl go edit away so that it look like he got smooth skin even though he got wrinkle.
But i think this one not so correct lor so i upsize the options, from "minimal De-Star" i put to "maximum De-Star"
Limpei saw results hor... limpei backside vomit ar! Superstar-looks my ass!
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Lee Hom is actually Thai girl!
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Jay is Bollywood star!
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I nothing to say!
And the most shocking......i see liao wan to whack people face.
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....
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WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
So now I say... you girls......
.....got weird taste!
Then ar i took these picture show my brother brother in kopitiam 925 there. WAH LIEW we all quickly go temple thank our blessings ar! I go home quickly delete all the girl MSN. I dunwan make friends with siao char bor!
lmao...
Saturday, April 01, 2006
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Jay Chou is probably my biggest Asian inspiration to date. I admire him for his talent as a musician. Meaning, his art is music. He doesn’t work to entertain like other kiddy boybands and stuff like that but he’s like near or ON Beethoven’s class. You can call him a musical auteur as he writes, composes and sings many of his songs. Every single little bit of detail.. every click and ping pong ball sound is largely from his direct order of placement. In short, everything he do la. Nice or not nice is basically him.
Also, I’m forever intrigued by his music videos. They are TRULY cinematogrphy-intensive. Meaning every little bitty bit that appears onscreen like the set design, costume, placement..... everything has been thoroughly thought of.
My recent trip to Johor had my splurging in Speedy CD shop
- Sad Movie (Korean DVD)
- Jay Chou – Huo Yuan Chia
- Andy Lau – All About Love
Damage = RM132.
I give father pay. Muahahah.
Ya you saw correctly.. Andy Lau... hahaah I’m old already. I guess having him being played every Friday at AMK K-Pool lead me to this.
So I bought a Korean movie. Aaa... it looks like a heartwarming one. Henry wanna come watch? You know what I said about Korean movies? ...makes ppl cry.
Jay Chou’s latest release is a compilation of music videos from his album, November’s Chopin (and there are a lot! About TWELVE!). Also included is his soundtrack from Jet Li’s so-called “last martial arts movie”, Fearless. (so called because.. watch him ar can damn shiok wan! He go liao then wasted.)
Ive watched the movie and I tell you..... WATCH WATCH WATCH! I can go on and on and on about the cinematography and choreography of this film ( I like to observe cinematography... not so much on acting or story or who is playing who in the show). Jet Li is teh m@rTiaL arTs PRO! Jackie Chan you can siam siam sit one corner in your coffee shop with Jack Neo pls.
Anywho... there is only ONE track inside the blardy soundtrack cd. HAHA!. Ok there is another track la but its more like an “extra” bit cos it’s a recording of a Jay’s number, Live.
The CD cover for the soundtrack cd gives “newcomers” (ppl who just cum LOL) an idea on how big-budget this Jay Chou guy is by looking at the images included.
But for some.... it’s a gauge on how serious Jay’s cinematographer and art director is.
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Stop laughing la!
These guys are truly well-versed in their expertise. Its not some ball-scratching work you find on F4 cds or our very own Singapore Idol’s.
The compilation DVD is the mother bomb of this set. I figured its one of the most elaborate and expensive one Sony BMG’s done to date for Jay. All the videos here feature songs from November’s Chopin and the quality is top-notch. And top notch as in they can make professional short films if given the permission!
You know.. I think they did a MV for ALL the songs of Novembers Chopin. Ooo rich rich.
Haha ok la im ass kissing. Its bloody good la to say the least. I LIKE.
The CD cover boasts a collage of Jay that was taken during the filming of the music videos. I guess these are pretty much the original film captures, with maybe some mnimal touch up at most. The big picture you see on the left is from Fa Ru Xue.
This is what it looks like after going through the editing machine.
Many of Jay’s MV are low-key in terms of lighting. That’s good fo him since it brings out all the rigidness of his face. Char bor like guy with jaw line.
Also, Jay’s MV are mostly dark and moody.
“NO LEI!!!.... some so sweet wan leihhzzzxxxx!!!”
Aaa I noe I noe... but if u think about it ar.. the video is about love! And the plot is what?
“Guy and girl. Like each other. But best friend of guy also like girl. But he got face so never tell friend. Then comes the secret love thingy doo daa. Skali girlfriend found out!”.
In the end, it’s stilll pretty much a dark plot.
Ever noticed that most of the Award winning films can be considered as “dark” ? Memoirs of a Geisha... Crash... Titanic... Harry Potter...
Ever seen “The Grinch” winning anything?
Anyways I had a little encounter with defect products.
Not sure whether everyone else who owns this has the same problem or its only me who suay kanna this set.
At first, all the teeth were there.. bt after I took the cd out.. EVERYTHING CRUMBLED!... like wtf la..... Is the plastic too brittle? Sure not me push to hard wan since ppl say I punch like drunk turtle.
Aiya but whatever.... as long as I have the cd can already. Correct? Correct.
You wait ar lu..... come ur office ask for replacement....
Overall, Jay’s latest compilation is pretty much sweet and complete. For film students and enthusiasts, I believe that this set could be a really handy reference for style and texture in films. Not so much on story since many of it is simple. But then again simple DOES NOT MEAN -->> SUCKS. Just watch Korean shows.
Also included are highlights of the Hong Kong Concert. Pretty much the same as all of Jay’s other Live concerts (thank you mother, thank you friends, thank you fans....). But there is this section where he has a piano duel with one of his friends (it’s cool and fast!) and Jay FINALLY makes up for his odd singing in An Jing by giving us a NEW rendition of it! And it’s sooooo much better! (its loaded in the player below already.)
I leave you with screen captures from the Music Videos. Please ar grab a copy.
But of course... there are some videos that look so outta place in the compilation.
After watching the Lan Se Feng Bao video...
all i can say is....... WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?!?!?!1
LMAO la! it looks like a special effects project gone wrong! (floating castles, lightning to hand, odd-saturation/colour selection method...)
Then again it’s just another style. Some ppl like it. Some don’t. (i think they call this one Surrealism.)
p.s.... Err.... are you all getting bored? come feedback lei...... :) :)
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