Thursday, July 27, 2006 |  
Today, I lived.

I felt different. Elated. Somewhat relieved. I found out I had more courage than I ever thought of. I could finally call anyone I wanted to without much thought beforehand. It didn’t feel technical or mechanic.

I realized I was living in this new found world of mine; free of blogging. Free of reading other people’s rants and ego-fixes. Free of this turtle-shell.

Ever since the rejection a lot of people including my sister have questioned my choice. Sure I’ve been thinking a lot about it myself but it seems like I’m taking it lighter than everyone else. Other people caring more on things that I should, but isn’t?

I talked to Sarah, Tianyu, Hasrul, Tharik, Aik and got some feedback on what the hell is wrong with me. Feedback was an eye-opener.

And so I walked out the next day just to be like other normal people.

And I enjoyed it. This is the world. This is it.


I leave you now with a film by Royston Tan entitled “Mother”.
I watched this short film last year during class and I remember very clearly it struck me somewhere deep in my heart to the point I was sobbing, like a little girl, at the two minute mark.

It’s just something that evoked some meaning that was familiar to me - that described my relationship with my mother, father, family, and the state of this “perfect brotherhood” bonding between my friends and I; a vision I’ve been trying to realize. Seems like the 11 of us can’t sit down and have dinner together anymore.

Or maybe I’m just too critical.


Posted by Audi