"Audi is one of the most difficult person for me to analyze...." Tharik says.
I smiled; happy that ive maintained my social character throughout the years; a mysterious man.
".... I dont know whether he's heterosexual... or gay.."
And then again the question appears. Normally we use the words,"WHO is bla bla bla?"
My friends use,"WHAT is Audi?" on me.
Henry thinks I'm a friend that's ready to die for them, Aik thinks I have an agenda.
As a lot of how things affect us when we are adults stem from our childhood, it's no wonder i take great pains to understand this whole entire contradictive term called, "Friendship."
In kindergarden we are taught to stand beside some other guy or girl, hold hands, smile really cutely and point at that person saying,"He is my friend!". Then we go sha la la la in the playground downstairs, hand in hand, we go home and tell our parents what a great friend we just made and by the end of the week we're doing the same thing again with some other guy. It's like flirting.... just much more cute.
By the time were in secondary school we dont see anyone going around playing hide and seek. Okay maybe we do sometimes... Could you imagine a bunch of Secondary 4 students playing hide and seek? We did that during the O-level days when our teachers suspiciously fell sick for long periods of time and relief teachers went to Thailand.
Add that with hormones and we have the most evil blend of backstabbing, clique-hopping and "may-I-join-you?" cases. Some go so far as to put up those fake laughters when the group they wanna join laughs.
But that's fine.. it's always like that... for thousands of years across the entire world. What we Singaporeans go through are similar to those in Europe..... although maybe ours are just a tad too.... whiny.
I've always seeked the answer to "What are friends, truly?". What are the stages we must go through to form closer bonds? My friend Dick is telling me he has some weird night-time fantasies of his other friend, Tanned.
Is it true that it's possible for a Tanned Dick?
In this society (mine, at least) touching other friends on the shoulder is okay and gladly accepted. Occasionally people frown upon it saying it's gay and stuff but the possibilites are that the other guy is deprived somewhere and just feels jealous or that someone's touching someone else's shoulder the wrong way~~~ Otherwise it's fine.
But to touch someone around the waist is a big NO NO.
Okay i admit i have this natural action when i wanan lead my friend somewhere, i'll grab his waist. More often than not, I get a reaction. This is where i learnt of Aik's "Dragon Stare" and "Expression of Utter Disgust." Sorry Aik. Blame it on Ki-Aikido! They DID say that you can lead a man anywhere from the waist since that's where the center of Ki is! I lead you to Pissed-off Land so hallelujah they were RIGHT!
Even more so when two guys go up to each other and kiss on the cheeks. If Tharik did this on Henry i'll be packing my bags and ready to castrate myself at moment's notice... along with whoever was around that time.
However when we see this Italy, everyone just goes,"Awww~~~".
I always believe little gestures like these are unique and stuff like that but ohmigosh im in ASIA!
A psychologist wrote a book addressing the stages of friendship. Now, we use the word so much and some do detest that word and to be honest, i hate that word. Everytime i say it i can hear some whisper going on something like,"What a cliche. What immaturity. What a pussy." And the whisper has gotten louder since I hung around a paritcular character in my course. The ego-manic that I am.... i stopped using the word.
The steps listed (in my own words because i forgot the terms) are:
Hello bye bye type of stuff. The most typical in poly.
Regularly talking. The most basic of all basics.
Regularly experiencing things together. Orchard road or something....
Exchanging history and background. Nobody will know anything if they dont know history. Same goes to everything else in the world i guess.
Light-secrets. Stuff like,"You know.... i hate that guy~~~".. "Yeah i surf porn...." (that's not something secretive to some lol...)
Verbal fighting. Ah yes... the start of a new romance. This is where things get closer.
Deeper secrets. In the middle of the fight... Josh pauses, bleeding from the mouth and standing over James, he admits,"I'm only doing this because..... I lost a brother before." Audience claps.
PLAY TOGETHER. Probably one of the most under-done thing friends can ever do. "Hey hey let's go sneak out of our houses tonite and meet at 925 coffeeshop!" Josh says. James goes,"Dun be lame."
Go out, go out, go out, share more things. Eat each other's food. Know likes and dislikes. "Eh i thought you dun like to exercise?". "i dont." "..... you're in love eh? trying to build up that body?"
Giving each other something to hold on to. Everyone of us has most definitely given our close ones some little momento or something to keep with them. For me, I have a treasure chest of them (literally)... and my friends have nothing. lol. I give them memories. That's much more precious than anything else i think.
"You forgot your watch..." "Keep it." (i did that once to Donald. He spoiled it after that.)
INTIMATE FAnTASiES. Yes, my friends, one of the biggest stages in relationship. Up to this point, it's still a clean relationship... no romantic love or whatever that resembles one you would expect from the most perfect couple in the world. let me break it into a paragraph...
YES it is absolutely NORMAL for us to dream of our friend Dylan nude. It is perfectly NORMAL to be curious on how his little willy looks like... what his fetishes are... what he like to fondle.. how he masturbates.. stuff like that. Maybe some other more liberal ones would go so far as to find out how he reacts when he is having hot sex. Naturally, we straight men would keep this within ourselves and maybe at most ask the other party.
Josh asks,"Do you masturbate?" "Yeah..." "Like.. what position..." James looks at Josh for a moment, smiles and goes,"Sometimes with my whole palm. Maybe with three fingers. Sometiems i use my mum's whitening cream as a lubricant." Josh then goes,"LOL! WHITENING CREAM?! LOL! omg that's sick."
At the end of the day, it's just a matter of knowing each other more. But there are those times when things go wrong; when the Titanic sank, when Jorje Boosh said,"AMERICA IS STILL RICH, GADAMMIT!" and when i found out my body is less sensitive to sensual feelings than everybody else's; some straight men get so convinced that they are gay and are led into lives that they may not be comfortable with... and go against a bazillion religions and the entire process of reproduction. Moreover, we have to admit that a lot of us are homophobic. I am. Aik is. Henry might be. Donald is okay with it but only because he's known the guy for a long time. And we all know how it's like if we dont learn to accept things as the way they are.. or just find it unnatural (it gets all screwed).. cos ever since young we hva ebeen thought that whne you have just a slight tinge of being attracted to someone of the same sex, you is dead. Traditional thinking is like so. But we all have vanity. The straightest Ah Beng you can find still looks at other bengs and admire theyre tattooes and hairstyles. It's fine. It's normal. Now run off and tell that to the village people living in your block, particularly the fat ones that shout at their kids in the middle of Northpoint.
One thing that i find we have really been deprrived of in our education is sociology. And in that comes inter-personal relationships and its stages. I guess if we all know what to expect... what's to come.. we wont be that whiny. When i was in my young teens i got so emotional on the slightest comments given by a friend. Super-emo I tell you. "Stop following me home you faggot!".
I guess... looking at these kinds of situations... i guess i pretty much understand all those backstabbing that's going on and stuff in sec school. Why cliques suddenyl break. Why Yau Min and Yi Ling suddenly stoped talkin to each other when they both might have got it off better together since one is now a fat tub of lard doing nothing and the other is a really realy sweet girl who's so so so so pretty and in a science course in poly. But if only we were to understand what to expect... things might be happier. I used Donald as a testbed for trial and error till i figured out this whole complex web called friendship. I;m still trying to figure out more things... like "What's the closest one can get without being involved in a romantic relationship?" or "What's the secret of a relationship that could last for a thousand years?" I think it'llbe an interesting journey.
Or maybe.. "Do we really need to go through war to form something substantially lasting?"
I guess these are the answers to have in hand when you found out your friend has been putting his hands underneath ur pants while u were asleep at his place. (yeah.. i got that once. Shocking it was so I kicked the guy to hell but we were okay after a month. He was straight, btw. Was having probs with his girlfriend at that time.)
So what goes on after the odd stage of seeing each other in weird positions? Well.... it's basically constantly thinking of and for each other. i still think of our long-gone friend, Tianyu, and just fondling with my phone... thinking of what to do to get him out of his work and uh... play with me... and i mean that in the most innocent sense.
Regularly sharing... that's they key~~~~ hear me whisper,"That's the key... remember the words of The Great Audi...."
How can we ever forget pacts in relationships? Henry and I made a pact a couple of weeks ago. It goes,"Ten years down the road, we will still be friends. Ten years down the road, one of us would be married. And ten years down the road, Henry, I will be the cause of your death; you will be in the front seat while i drive.... and crash into something."
P.S. Do try to catch POSEIDON. I liked it a lot. Try not to ask, "What if.." during the show. Just let the movie take you away. It'll be worth your ten bucks and popcorn calories.
P.P.S. Buy LOTS of popcorn.
P.P.P.S yes, it's possible to get a Tanned Dick.
.
.
.
I smiled; happy that ive maintained my social character throughout the years; a mysterious man.
".... I dont know whether he's heterosexual... or gay.."
And then again the question appears. Normally we use the words,"WHO is bla bla bla?"
My friends use,"WHAT is Audi?" on me.
Henry thinks I'm a friend that's ready to die for them, Aik thinks I have an agenda.
As a lot of how things affect us when we are adults stem from our childhood, it's no wonder i take great pains to understand this whole entire contradictive term called, "Friendship."
In kindergarden we are taught to stand beside some other guy or girl, hold hands, smile really cutely and point at that person saying,"He is my friend!". Then we go sha la la la in the playground downstairs, hand in hand, we go home and tell our parents what a great friend we just made and by the end of the week we're doing the same thing again with some other guy. It's like flirting.... just much more cute.
By the time were in secondary school we dont see anyone going around playing hide and seek. Okay maybe we do sometimes... Could you imagine a bunch of Secondary 4 students playing hide and seek? We did that during the O-level days when our teachers suspiciously fell sick for long periods of time and relief teachers went to Thailand.
Add that with hormones and we have the most evil blend of backstabbing, clique-hopping and "may-I-join-you?" cases. Some go so far as to put up those fake laughters when the group they wanna join laughs.
But that's fine.. it's always like that... for thousands of years across the entire world. What we Singaporeans go through are similar to those in Europe..... although maybe ours are just a tad too.... whiny.
I've always seeked the answer to "What are friends, truly?". What are the stages we must go through to form closer bonds? My friend Dick is telling me he has some weird night-time fantasies of his other friend, Tanned.
Is it true that it's possible for a Tanned Dick?
In this society (mine, at least) touching other friends on the shoulder is okay and gladly accepted. Occasionally people frown upon it saying it's gay and stuff but the possibilites are that the other guy is deprived somewhere and just feels jealous or that someone's touching someone else's shoulder the wrong way~~~ Otherwise it's fine.
But to touch someone around the waist is a big NO NO.
Okay i admit i have this natural action when i wanan lead my friend somewhere, i'll grab his waist. More often than not, I get a reaction. This is where i learnt of Aik's "Dragon Stare" and "Expression of Utter Disgust." Sorry Aik. Blame it on Ki-Aikido! They DID say that you can lead a man anywhere from the waist since that's where the center of Ki is! I lead you to Pissed-off Land so hallelujah they were RIGHT!
Even more so when two guys go up to each other and kiss on the cheeks. If Tharik did this on Henry i'll be packing my bags and ready to castrate myself at moment's notice... along with whoever was around that time.
However when we see this Italy, everyone just goes,"Awww~~~".
I always believe little gestures like these are unique and stuff like that but ohmigosh im in ASIA!
A psychologist wrote a book addressing the stages of friendship. Now, we use the word so much and some do detest that word and to be honest, i hate that word. Everytime i say it i can hear some whisper going on something like,"What a cliche. What immaturity. What a pussy." And the whisper has gotten louder since I hung around a paritcular character in my course. The ego-manic that I am.... i stopped using the word.
The steps listed (in my own words because i forgot the terms) are:
Hello bye bye type of stuff. The most typical in poly.
Regularly talking. The most basic of all basics.
Regularly experiencing things together. Orchard road or something....
Exchanging history and background. Nobody will know anything if they dont know history. Same goes to everything else in the world i guess.
Light-secrets. Stuff like,"You know.... i hate that guy~~~".. "Yeah i surf porn...." (that's not something secretive to some lol...)
Verbal fighting. Ah yes... the start of a new romance. This is where things get closer.
Deeper secrets. In the middle of the fight... Josh pauses, bleeding from the mouth and standing over James, he admits,"I'm only doing this because..... I lost a brother before." Audience claps.
PLAY TOGETHER. Probably one of the most under-done thing friends can ever do. "Hey hey let's go sneak out of our houses tonite and meet at 925 coffeeshop!" Josh says. James goes,"Dun be lame."
Go out, go out, go out, share more things. Eat each other's food. Know likes and dislikes. "Eh i thought you dun like to exercise?". "i dont." "..... you're in love eh? trying to build up that body?"
Giving each other something to hold on to. Everyone of us has most definitely given our close ones some little momento or something to keep with them. For me, I have a treasure chest of them (literally)... and my friends have nothing. lol. I give them memories. That's much more precious than anything else i think.
"You forgot your watch..." "Keep it." (i did that once to Donald. He spoiled it after that.)
INTIMATE FAnTASiES. Yes, my friends, one of the biggest stages in relationship. Up to this point, it's still a clean relationship... no romantic love or whatever that resembles one you would expect from the most perfect couple in the world. let me break it into a paragraph...
YES it is absolutely NORMAL for us to dream of our friend Dylan nude. It is perfectly NORMAL to be curious on how his little willy looks like... what his fetishes are... what he like to fondle.. how he masturbates.. stuff like that. Maybe some other more liberal ones would go so far as to find out how he reacts when he is having hot sex. Naturally, we straight men would keep this within ourselves and maybe at most ask the other party.
Josh asks,"Do you masturbate?" "Yeah..." "Like.. what position..." James looks at Josh for a moment, smiles and goes,"Sometimes with my whole palm. Maybe with three fingers. Sometiems i use my mum's whitening cream as a lubricant." Josh then goes,"LOL! WHITENING CREAM?! LOL! omg that's sick."
At the end of the day, it's just a matter of knowing each other more. But there are those times when things go wrong; when the Titanic sank, when Jorje Boosh said,"AMERICA IS STILL RICH, GADAMMIT!" and when i found out my body is less sensitive to sensual feelings than everybody else's; some straight men get so convinced that they are gay and are led into lives that they may not be comfortable with... and go against a bazillion religions and the entire process of reproduction. Moreover, we have to admit that a lot of us are homophobic. I am. Aik is. Henry might be. Donald is okay with it but only because he's known the guy for a long time. And we all know how it's like if we dont learn to accept things as the way they are.. or just find it unnatural (it gets all screwed).. cos ever since young we hva ebeen thought that whne you have just a slight tinge of being attracted to someone of the same sex, you is dead. Traditional thinking is like so. But we all have vanity. The straightest Ah Beng you can find still looks at other bengs and admire theyre tattooes and hairstyles. It's fine. It's normal. Now run off and tell that to the village people living in your block, particularly the fat ones that shout at their kids in the middle of Northpoint.
One thing that i find we have really been deprrived of in our education is sociology. And in that comes inter-personal relationships and its stages. I guess if we all know what to expect... what's to come.. we wont be that whiny. When i was in my young teens i got so emotional on the slightest comments given by a friend. Super-emo I tell you. "Stop following me home you faggot!".
I guess... looking at these kinds of situations... i guess i pretty much understand all those backstabbing that's going on and stuff in sec school. Why cliques suddenyl break. Why Yau Min and Yi Ling suddenly stoped talkin to each other when they both might have got it off better together since one is now a fat tub of lard doing nothing and the other is a really realy sweet girl who's so so so so pretty and in a science course in poly. But if only we were to understand what to expect... things might be happier. I used Donald as a testbed for trial and error till i figured out this whole complex web called friendship. I;m still trying to figure out more things... like "What's the closest one can get without being involved in a romantic relationship?" or "What's the secret of a relationship that could last for a thousand years?" I think it'llbe an interesting journey.
Or maybe.. "Do we really need to go through war to form something substantially lasting?"
I guess these are the answers to have in hand when you found out your friend has been putting his hands underneath ur pants while u were asleep at his place. (yeah.. i got that once. Shocking it was so I kicked the guy to hell but we were okay after a month. He was straight, btw. Was having probs with his girlfriend at that time.)
So what goes on after the odd stage of seeing each other in weird positions? Well.... it's basically constantly thinking of and for each other. i still think of our long-gone friend, Tianyu, and just fondling with my phone... thinking of what to do to get him out of his work and uh... play with me... and i mean that in the most innocent sense.
Regularly sharing... that's they key~~~~ hear me whisper,"That's the key... remember the words of The Great Audi...."
How can we ever forget pacts in relationships? Henry and I made a pact a couple of weeks ago. It goes,"Ten years down the road, we will still be friends. Ten years down the road, one of us would be married. And ten years down the road, Henry, I will be the cause of your death; you will be in the front seat while i drive.... and crash into something."
P.S. Do try to catch POSEIDON. I liked it a lot. Try not to ask, "What if.." during the show. Just let the movie take you away. It'll be worth your ten bucks and popcorn calories.
P.P.S. Buy LOTS of popcorn.
P.P.P.S yes, it's possible to get a Tanned Dick.
.
.
.
Junction near Yishun Esso station.
.
.
.
Henry aims again...
.
.
.
The showdown. Guess who's winning?
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Audi
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