I bought a pair of jeans from a clothing shop (duh) that hires foreigners in Peninsula Plaza's basement. Yeah, that one.
I think they call it skinny-jeans.. or slim fit jeans. I wouldn't know. All I knew was that I need a pair of jeans that didn't make me look like a fucking slacker with a low ass. I was gifted with a nice ass and I'd like to show it off. Of course, all this while knowing that they took some points off my face for my behind. Congratulations, Audi, your ass looks better than your face!
Umm... yea... kinda obvious that I'm running out of pictures.
Nick's advice to me with jeans were not to wash them at all for the next six months. Instead, sunning them during weekends or so. All this just to get "a very nice fade". He should know... his jeans costs him SGD500.
Thus, I bought my first pair of slim-fitting jeans on the 19th of December 2008.
Fast forward to last week, and they now smell of leather and sun. I could be arrested for this alone under 'Public Nuisance'. Six months of not washing? I don't think so.
Anyways, I was eating at some Korean restaurant (Fresh Bulggogi) at Downtown East where the staff probably had a knife underneath their shirts ready to spring up and stab them in the chest if they were to ever receive a word of our orders instead of us clicking on the LCD monitors beside the table for our meals.
I have to say, it's weird when you sneakily place an order for a drink between meals and the lady comes lalala-ing down with a glass of 7UP and your parents stare at her for a god-awful "wtf,mate?" moment.
Did I mention it was my mom's birthday that day? Happy 49th (??) Birthday!
Halfway through the meal I felt a pain in my abdomen. Probably had the shits coming along from all the food in the Army. I breathed in, readjusted, pulled up my pants and tried to finish the meal. The pain was worse this time. And it was different. It wasn't gas... I tried farting. Didn't work. I tried eating more, didn't work at all. I reached down and that's when I realized.
Omg.
I was sitting on my balls.
That sharp pain were the cries of my right gonad as they were viced on to my pelvic bone as my weight flattened them against my jeans. I knew what I had to do now - get them higher up to ease the tension. Here I was eating deep-fried mushrooms (oh they are delicious) while my fingers were 'walking' my testicles up my pants.
The rest of the afternoon was fine and I'm fit as a horse now. Or a fiddle. Whatever.
So, lesson learnt, my other guy friends. When wearing tight jeans... please...
... underwear. Use 'em.
I think they call it skinny-jeans.. or slim fit jeans. I wouldn't know. All I knew was that I need a pair of jeans that didn't make me look like a fucking slacker with a low ass. I was gifted with a nice ass and I'd like to show it off. Of course, all this while knowing that they took some points off my face for my behind. Congratulations, Audi, your ass looks better than your face!
Umm... yea... kinda obvious that I'm running out of pictures.
Nick's advice to me with jeans were not to wash them at all for the next six months. Instead, sunning them during weekends or so. All this just to get "a very nice fade". He should know... his jeans costs him SGD500.
Thus, I bought my first pair of slim-fitting jeans on the 19th of December 2008.
Fast forward to last week, and they now smell of leather and sun. I could be arrested for this alone under 'Public Nuisance'. Six months of not washing? I don't think so.
Anyways, I was eating at some Korean restaurant (Fresh Bulggogi) at Downtown East where the staff probably had a knife underneath their shirts ready to spring up and stab them in the chest if they were to ever receive a word of our orders instead of us clicking on the LCD monitors beside the table for our meals.
I have to say, it's weird when you sneakily place an order for a drink between meals and the lady comes lalala-ing down with a glass of 7UP and your parents stare at her for a god-awful "wtf,mate?" moment.
Did I mention it was my mom's birthday that day? Happy 49th (??) Birthday!
Halfway through the meal I felt a pain in my abdomen. Probably had the shits coming along from all the food in the Army. I breathed in, readjusted, pulled up my pants and tried to finish the meal. The pain was worse this time. And it was different. It wasn't gas... I tried farting. Didn't work. I tried eating more, didn't work at all. I reached down and that's when I realized.
Omg.
I was sitting on my balls.
That sharp pain were the cries of my right gonad as they were viced on to my pelvic bone as my weight flattened them against my jeans. I knew what I had to do now - get them higher up to ease the tension. Here I was eating deep-fried mushrooms (oh they are delicious) while my fingers were 'walking' my testicles up my pants.
The rest of the afternoon was fine and I'm fit as a horse now. Or a fiddle. Whatever.
So, lesson learnt, my other guy friends. When wearing tight jeans... please...
... underwear. Use 'em.
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Audi
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