It's been a week so far. I haven't gotten much sleep since the last week as we prepared for our performance... no, wait. I shouldn't talk about that either.

In any case, I went over for an audition with MDC (Music and Drama Company) as both their artiste and technician. I had to sing, act and dance. Well that few hours confirms the fact that I can't dance. I handed over my portfolio to the interviewer and that started the ball rolling. I think I did good.

I'll be passing out this Wednesday. BMT is finally over, and I have to write a reflection on it. I don't feel happy nor nostalgic at all as BMT nears it end. That sense of accomplishment... I seem to be missing it. Joey and Justin and I.. we talked about this before. I have forgotten my first day in BMT, the training, the events that happened. It's like, somehow, they were nothing significant. 

I have already forgotten some of the people in my platoon and this ones I describe them as 'invisible' - they are there, but you don't see them. At the same time, I regret not noticing some of them earlier on. It's too late to make new friends now. Of all the things I remember about BMT, are the few people that hang around every now and then. And even then, I don't remember what we did. I only remember the feelings. Must be something I've been smoking.

I walked around the city alone yesterday. I have a new baby now... a Canon 450D. But I didn't spend the time snapping photos. Instead, I was in cabs just going to random places in town. Along Clarke Quay, River Valley, Chinatown. I was bugged by something, I don't know what. I've been smoking a lot more than usual but I keep feeling I left something undone. There wasn't a closure to something.

I thought once I had my first DSLR it'll take my mind of things. I didn't really help and I only managed to spend the rest of the night fidelling around with it and jumping back on aimless photoshopping. I didn't feel like a 'soldier'... I felt free. Even if it was just for a night. The more I discover new things, the more restricted I feel.

My things from the last book-out aren't even unpacked yet. I wanted to give my field pack a wash this weekend... meh. 

Two hours to book in. See you in a few days.