Ten days since we passed-out. I finally met up with Nicholas a few days ago. It's the first time we hooked up again after he disappeared after the parade.
It's been a hellish week. Not because we're rushing... but because we're rushing for no reason at all. We're neither here, nor there, unable to pursue our dreams nor unable to sit back and relax. Everybody's anticipating their postings which will be out tomorrow, Friday.
I spent the week sitting in front of the computer, my chair wet with the humidity my dirty ass creates. I played Armed Assault for hours on end, kept up with the current Internet news and trends (I caught the stock market crash a day before it came out in our local news.) and had a go again at website design and building.
As the days went by I became very anxious and fidgety. Staying at home was a bore - I had my mom nagging me to clean my room and my dad calling me every other hour telling me to remember who God was and how magnificent He is. My field pack, LBV, helmet and duffel bag lay across my room, opened, but still stuffed with zip lock bags containing my clothes. I dressed up and went out.
I caught with some of my old friends. I can't say I looked forward to meeting them. We've come to a point where we have to admit that we're entirely different and stubborn. It was the usual yada-yada-talking-amongst-themselves all over again I didn't bother much. My fingers were itchy, though, and I had this itch to spend - Spend all the money I had.
I took cabs to and fro home and town, bought coffee from those cafes, bought a new cap without trying it on and walked over to Borders at Wheelock and bombed a wad of cash on books like "The Dummies Guide to Dreamweaver CS3". Then, of course, take a cab home. My legs were tired.
When I met Nicholas, I bluffed him into thinking I broke my arm against my room door on purpose. I don't know whether that actually rushed him to come down. I think not... I waited over two hours for him. Bastard.
I was looking for clothes, and he was sporting enough to bring me a couple of rounds around ORCHARD-FUCKING-ROAD. Seriously, what the fuck?
I did saw some clothes that were nice. As he showed me more and more jeans and shirts I came up with ideas for a new image I'd like to adopt. Back in my head, however, I knew I couldn't buy anything that day - I was broke from the days before.
Justin came along after a while and he's been up with a few of his own things. Just chillin', he says.
Of cigarettes and alcohol. These two things accompany many soldiers in their free time. Or maybe not so free time. In any case, these two have been my best friends since I passed out. I seem to have smoked a lot more than usual. Nick and I talked about it. We kinda figured out it was because we've been controlled on our smoking for the past three months. I mentioned there were times I didn't want to smoke at all when there was a smoke break. I could do away with it, but it was a fucking smoke break!
Freedom! Outside in the civilian world - Freedom! And we light another one up. Our eyes look from the corners in an arrogant manner as we flick open our boxes and twirl our lighters. We're free from rules! Free from regimentation! We shall light this stick to celebrate! And then another stick, and another. It doesn't stop.
I wouldn't have thought much about smoking if it wasn't made so obvious to me the whole time in camp.
Joey and a few others left for Genting the last weekend. That gave me good reason to hang around the house. I really didn't feel like doing anything. Uncle Jimmy, even him, the guy whom I respected so much, I didn't even bother calling. I know what he'll say - I've gotten lazy.
Maybe I have. Or maybe I'm tired. Or maybe I'm too involved with something. I don't know.
I met up with Daryl, an old friend of mine from FSV, and he drove me down to Paulaner for a swig. Nicholas was supposed to come along but I think he had more important things to do at the last minute... like tea-bagging his water bottle.
The world couldn't have been better towards me than the time I got into Daryl's car. It was an overwhelming sense of familiarity. That whole night we became what we were - young adults. We drove around Singapore (he got lost), ate at Jalan Kayu and to top it all off, he played a CD, set at random tracks, and the two tracks it played were Guns and Roses' Sweet Child O' Mine and Paradise City; part of the album that actually got me through the lame and boring nights in the bunk at Tekong.
By the time Paradise City ended, we were infront of my place. No more speeding down the highway, no more music blasting out of the car, no more ferocious winds blowing into our eye sockets. I bid him goodbye and got out of the car. It was back to normality again.
Kwang Wei entered NS on the 15th of this month. It was a Monday, I think. I woke up in the afternoon, way past 12pm. A big no-no. I checked my phone and had a message from him.
His message hit me in the face - he was serving his BMT with Yankee Company!
An unexpected rush went over my entire being. I felt like screaming it out to the whole world. I felt like gathering people on the streets and getting them into a circle and sing the "Yankee Boleh" cheer. Even as I was bathing I couldn't stop giggling.
The image of Yankee - of its bunk, company line, sergeants, they kept coming back and I giggled with pride. I called Kwang Wei over and over for a few days but never was answered. I sms-ed Sergeant Lyndon about the news. I finally did get Kwang Wei after Paulaner and I spoke with him at lengths about wherever he was now. He's in Platoon one as well, but in section 2. He's sleeping on Faizal's bed, the guy with the fastest SOC timing in our platoon.
I went further to ask who was sleeping on my bed. I told him by rifle number, its serial, and where Justin slept. I knew it was pointless but I kept telling him to pass on the message to the people who will take over my rifle and my bed and Justin's rifle and bed. I told him everything about every single detail about my rifle. For a moment, I thought I really did miss my rifle.
When Nicholas heard my story he chipped in (in between my stutters, no less) - we don't miss Yankee because of "Company Pride" or any of that. We don't live for the sake of others. Nicholas said we probably miss the smokers and the good sergeants and the environment. Probably. I think what we missed, though, was the daily routine and regimentation. It's been ingrained into our body clock that, I, at least, feel disorientated every morning when I wake up at home.
Maybe I should stop babbling on. I've lost the point of this entire segment.
As the days to our posting, our next goal, came nearer, I spent more time with Nick... only because the fucking dick ditched us the day before. I honestly wanted to leave him hanging this time. Then again, maybe this might be the last time any of us would ever meet again.
We went over to Zouk for their usual Mambo Night event. It's becoming less Mambo now and more generic-clubbing-music. They added new beam lights. It's cool and all but the place is too bright now to go nuts. Nick, Jarrell (MCM guy, we met before in school),Paul (MCM, don't know him, but is Sze Aik's platoon mate) and I spent about half an hour tapping our feet on the dance floor occasionally getting right into the middle in hopes we'll get high with all the bodies around us. It didn't happen, not even after a couple of drinks. We bailed for a couple of sticks and that was pretty much our night. I wasn't happy, to say the least. I wasn't satisfied yet.
Nick then came up with the idea to play LAN over at the Meridian. I had some fun there kicking his ass in Call of Duty 4. I shouted and jeered. The mood died quickly after that and we had supper at a place nearby.
We all talked about Army, again. Nick and I listened in to Paul and, I don't know, it made me miss my BMT. I still believe we haven't gone through a lot... but this feeling was overwhelming. We finally picked up our stuff to go home. Nick and I looked at each other.
He always made this sick joke (maybe it wasn't even a joke) that this was the last time we'll see each other. I got quite annoyed at that idea and I mocked him for saying things like that... it's not the last time!
Back of my mind, however, maybe it was. Maybe. I recalled the times we did random things to each other. Like the time I was minding my own business with Kyle and Nick comes over with the cheap-ass SAF shaver and proceeded to shave my legs. Or the couple of times I came over to his bed and we'd lay together and have random emo-talks about our dreams for the future. The night ended with us sleeping on the same bed. I'm thankful enough no commanders caught us sleeping together (almost did, though. Close call.). There was one morning where we woke up a bit later and when we falled in for 5BX a few of the other guy came over and asked,"Were you sleeping with Nicholas last night?"
Great, now I have homosexual tendencies.
Before we left Nicholas waved goodbye to me. I said bye and he extended his hands for a shake. I just knew what he was about to say.
So I didn't extend my hands out. I told him,"I refuse to shake your hands. I won't even acknowledge it. This is not the end."
With that, we split. Next week we'll be all over the place attending to our new units. It's a new chapter for all of us... and deep in my heart I hope we can enjoy each other's company as we always did for the past three months.
Maybe...
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Audi
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