Wednesday, October 31, 2007
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The days I go to war, slothing about in turpentine, feeling its acid teeth sinking into the skins of my hands. Touching gunpowder, mixing chemicals, making miracles out of electricity.
The nights, I give out and receive calls from friends. Some ask for help. Some need help. Some ask for ideas. Sometimes I give ideas and we make something else... starting new projects, scraping the old, developing new things for work and for play.
It's all fun and good. Many of times I've been praised. Been called "promising". Been called "a big brother". Been described as "a good piece of jade, but carved wrongly". Viky looks to me and watches me in awe as I train him. Kwang Wei recognises me as something. Don puts his arms around my shoulder and call me "brother". Uncle Jimmy says i'm a very big hope for everyone.
Then comes near midnight. And suddenly, it's like I wasnt even worth anything before. Has it really been so long since I was subdued by anyone? Everyday, so lucky, so easy. Then comes a small little girl. The faint sound of her "hello" makes me melt. Falling into desperation... into confusion. I dont know what I am anymore.
Maybe this is the downfall of man. Maybe this is why great man never became great. The real me would say, "Leave it. It's not good for you."
But the softer man in me doesnt want to.
A soldier in the front lines, a slave at home.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
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This one's just creepy.
God knows, maybe it's the constellations in the sky, or that I've pleased a deity the last few months, or I've been pretty nice to everyone (shouldnt be that..) but I seem the be picking up on a lot of things lately.
I'm currently building a rifle of my own with Uncle Jimmy for the documentary project coming up end of the month.
Henry and I caught up together again. We went swimming. God I love that guy.
The training Uncle Jimmy has been giving seems to be working pretty sweetly; I'm falling in love with my own body now! Viky called me ask me to train him up as well. Fine, not that I know how to.
And lastly, for all things wonderful, I'm finally having a special relationship with a girl I love. Sweet, childish love returns!
Don cant get enough of me talking about how much I like her. Lol.
Posted by
Audi
Labels:
My Life
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
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I got a call from Uncle Jimmy one fine day while I was in school for IBP meeting.
He informed me of someone from New York University who's about to give me a ring.
"Make some friends," Uncle Jimmy says.
The NYU guy did call, and his name is Ash, and has a thick British accent. After a bit of questions I found out that Uncle Jimmy referred him to me to be in charge of Ash's shoot in terms of fight choreography, special effects and stunt performance. Uncle Jimmy didnt want to take it up cause he had other things to settle.
Cool.
Over the next few weeks I was doing the usual pre-production meetings with him. It was a simple alley fight scene with a nice twist. He asked me,"Can you do stunts?"
"Yeah.. kinda.."
"Can you take a bump?"
"I think so."
"Perfect! You're one of our main characters!"
I like the way these people from NYU worked. We did a rehearsal shoot on both video AND film (SRII camera! With test film footage wtf!?!?!) one fine day and it went pretty smoothly.
It was a crew of 5 or so... there were Americans, British, Singaporen and a couple of cute Korean chicks. The difference between them and our local girls? The Koreans dont melt under the sun.
They sent the exposed film for processing the next day and in less than 48 hrs i received a call from Ash telling me how great the acting came up and invited me over to Tisch Asia itself to have a look at the film.
I thought No. 3 Kay Siang Rd was some dude's house and that I'll be watching it in some living room with some normal TV and be bored to death.
But no.. i was greeted into a preview theatre that they had all the control possible. I noticed the school was still under construction. When i came in a grp of students were excited over something on the floor.
It was a pipe dolly. The cheapest, most looked-down-upon (well, in my school...) dolly ever imagined but these NYU students taking their MBA in film are all excited over it.
I asked Ash what that was all about and he said they didnt really have all the equipments they should be getting yet. After all, there are only THIRTY THREE of them in the whole school. Could you imagine how non-bullshit the politics are in that kind of environment?
Ash was awesome. He's over the age of 25, balding from the back of the head. A British Indian. He's done plenty of documentaries and news coverage over the years for companies and pitched stuff to people before. I noticed the way he'll critic my acting.. the other's acting.. what was good.. what can be improved... in a manner that isnt what i would expect. No longer was it some guy with a small penis trying to make up for his pride by spewing nonsensical film rules and senseless story criticism. It was now a director, for real.
I had a fun time figuring out how to make spurting blood for the shoot. Lots of stories there. But as long as the people are happy with what they saw (oh, they were elated, at least) I'm fine with that.
"You fall very nicely, Audi." says Ash. "And you may think yourself as just a stuntman, but you can act too."
My balls expanded and I made sure the first person to know was my..... GIRLFRIEND!
whoo!!!
Didnt think she cared less. lol.
Uncle Jimmy received a call from him just now, three days after the end of the shoot. After he put down the phone, Uncle Jimmy remarked,"He sounds very happy. The film has been developed."
Maybe I did a good job. But, hey, so what, I got a big hug from one of the Korean girls.
I've got another big project coming up soon in the end of November, right after the end of my IBP shoot.
Once I get a hold of a camera and some time, I might be updating something huge.
Till then, sorry for the messy post.
Posted by
Audi
Labels:
Filmmaking
,
My Life
Thursday, October 18, 2007
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I was playing with my cat a few minutes ago spinning him round and round on the floor. I caught a glimpse of my leg hair on TV too. The Quah Kim Song Life Story commercial just aired.
Gotta remember to tape it next Tuesday.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
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Holy fuck. If there's anything exciting about filmmaking it's the life you lead once things kick into action.
Wont be updating for a the next couple of weeks, not when the IBP project took an interesting twist yesterday; we;re left with two weeks to prepare for the shoot.
I'd love to score in my department here... that'll show Daryl. Yeah!
Apart from that and the other project i'm involved in with Tish Asia of the New York University (i'm showing off!) ... i think i found love.
She ordered me to say it straight to her face next week. Hopefully my balls dont vanish.
Adios!
Monday, October 08, 2007
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Another day, another shoot, another senseless gun-totting-bang-bang-smash scene from Channel 8.
I'm getting used to this.
Update soon.
Posted by
Audi
Labels:
Filmmaking
,
Jimmy Low
,
My Life
Saturday, October 06, 2007
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So many days. SO many things. I walk i eat i sleep.I tink i see and think and think for more. my god... i looked inthe mirror.. i think i've fallen sick... I didnt even know. Look at those bones.. so skinny...
I saw that person - saw me. never looked. never seen. together sitting. i ask and i ask. why do i even bother? whydoievenbother? whydoievenfuckingwanttobother? so close sitting... the air.. so hot.. the chest... inflating. is ighed.
Whyd Do i Even wahtn to botehr????
long time longtime loved you watcheD ou gudieED you an dthis is fuck. fckgn thrwew back inthe face.>./!!!
tink dammit thinkdammit! why whwywhwyhwywwhywwyyy!!!!
i dotn knwO why... you tell me.
Friday, October 05, 2007
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I keep saying this and no matter how much i want to stop saying it, I keep saying it cause it happens too often - My life keeps changing.
The last couple of days had a few major changes. Im too exhausted, mentally and physically, to care about anything else now; i just want to rest.
The steps to owning that house in Kembangan just got shortened.
Update soon.
Monday, October 01, 2007
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Been pretty fucked up lately on a few things. If only we can think as fast as we speak. What do you call it when you have so much to say back but in the end you stop mid-sentence and sigh? Is this weakness, or strength?
God knows...
I once heard of a quote that went something like this:
"If you waited at one place long enough, you'd see everyone you'd ever known in this world."
I waited at that one place today. I didnt see that person I wanted to.
Maybe I didnt wait long enough. Or maybe that quote fucked me over.
Posted by
Audi
Labels:
My Life
,
Sincere coffessions
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