Nothing Better Than Being Alive: January 2008

Wednesday, January 23, 2008 | 0 comments

I dont think i really can update on my own time anymore. I wasnt kidding when I mentioned about a fuckload of changes coming in this time.

Hopefully the sidebars along here get updated much more regularly.

Ciao.

Posted by Audi

Pretty smooth, aye?

Thursday, January 10, 2008 | 0 comments

Ya ya ya i know i know i meant to update sooner.

A ton of changes has taken place lately. I calculated my earnings last month and it ran over somewhere in the 800-1000 dollars mark. This month alone has been looking good.... what with all the money suddenly pouring in.

Lucky for me, this time I'm making an effort to save some cash. I'm trying to raise a couple thousand dollars to buy me a QX6857 Quad Core Processor and a new motherboard before I go into NS... Cause you know.. i have a small penis and the size of my computer (e-penis) compensates for it. So I may be a six and half inch-er in real life but I'm a mother fucking 9 inch in real life! Ah ha!

At the time of this writing, I can safely say that The Stunt Production has finally extended its hands into Bollywood. Uncle Jimmy is off in Mumbai now for a meeting, and I have full access to the Whampoa office for the next ten days. Lord knows i love to bury myself in rifles and pistols and swords. Orgasmoville.

Since no one is left in Singapore to run the company, I'm being sent off this 19th to a show with one of his old friend to rig up some effects. It's my first time standing out there on my own doing stuff like this... I'm not sure what to expect. Maybe a missing finger or two at most. And not my finger.

After the hoo-ha a few weeks ago, with the girl, I've somehow felt relieved. Sure, i get restless sometimes and feel like something is missing but that only means I have more free time to chew nuts. And by chewing nuts, I spent it with some of the old guys from secondary school. Just in luck that all of us got dumped by our lovers (oh, wait, I dumped mine...) so what more than to stay over, up all night, cursing all the girls that fucked all over us, waving our angry fists into the air, then regretting not actually doing things we've always wanted to do together, crying rivers at the same time and of course... have little tiny adventures around the neighborhood. It was fucking nice... but god knows there will come a time i better be serious and find one lady to settle down with. Ill give myself a target... hmmm... try ten years.

Honestly, when i came back to school a couple of days ago I'm starting to think whether this little boy inside of me tagging my testicles saying,"YOO ARE NEGLECTING SKOOL!" really is saying the truth. Here I see Daryl stressing out all over the editing station, Kai Xiang and Zhong Hui all moody with their AFP projects. People running around loading lights into box trucks then zooming off to location and every effing second someone comes to me sighing, "I'm so tired.. I didnt sleep last night." What the hell can i do? Keep you company? Would you like a motherfucking pillow?

But hey... school ends the middle of next month. All the best.

Im running a few things right now that I'd like to keep under the sheets for now so this blog probably isnt gonna move much for the next few weeks. Doesn't make a difference anyways... its not like anyone ever leaves this place loving me more. All i get are some bastards telling me what i can and cannot do at every turn I make and accusing me on retarded deductions they brilliantly thought up with whatever tiny bit of thing they know of from this fucking webpage.

Fucked. Up.

Adios.

Year 2008

Tuesday, January 01, 2008 | 0 comments

In the light of the festive season, I guess it was just about time that I took a rest from pretty much everything - school, work, and sex.

On the same note, the entire film industry in Singapore has seemingly stopped turning as well. With no jobs on, I'm getting pretty restless. If my dad wants to complain about me always on the comp again, I'll really have to wonder what he wants - me going out to work as a 'coolie' or sit at home under his "watchful" eyes while i do nothing.

Tharik never fails to entertain me during job down-time. So we met up and went ahead for our usual Cyber-Shopping. There's simply nothing like going around looking at gadgets, rubbing our cocks on them and savouring the sweet smell of new plastic when we take them out of boxes... then we dont buy them.

Tna and I are game fanatics. Though he's more the usual "I PLAY FOR FUN!!!11!!", I like to tear my games apart and check what's under the hood. Though most of the time I'm stuck at actually LOOKING for the hook that releases the hood.

Being the lonely faggots we are, we bought ourselves some Xmas presents for ourselves.

That's COD 4 (read: GAME OF TEH YEAR 2007!!!) for him and Arma:Queen's Gambit for me.

I did a bit of flirting on the counter and managed to get us a wee bit of discount for our games. Like about... 4 dollars cheaper. I always knew I'm good at flirting... even though the person behind the counter was a GUY. AAARGGGHH!!!!

School called back again a few days ago. My legs went heavy. Probably its the days of laziness and staying at home. I really didnt feel like going. Probably it's that bad taste in my mouth the school's management left for the past two semesters.

But i did go back anyways... and ON TIME. Whee.

I walked through the corridors of Ngee Ann FSV and my god how much i hated this place. Then I realised why i was able to endure every bullshit coming in from the top of the hill; TEH FRENZZZ!!!!

I caught up with Leon, Dash, Ben, Mitch, etc etc while waiting for our superstar Daryl to come.

I saw Leon's edit for his Final Project and I am still amazed that other people still dare to talk big about themselves being EDITORS. Leon's work was amazing and I dont mind at all paying him some cash for any editing i need for The Stunt Production.

Ah yes, then it was IBP meeting all over again. If it wasnt for the other 3 guys I'll readily die for in the team I wouldnt have bothered at all anymore.

Well that's school for you.

The days leading up to the New Year was pretty cool. After the fucked up issue between two of my friends I received quite a few calls from people I thought had fucked off long ago. It was nice getting calls from them again... even though most of them went like "AUDI HELP ME IM IN DEEP SHIT!" like I'm a fucking Church with 5-storey basements for them to hide in. But we're all the same and same.

Tharik came over again one morning. I'm quite surprised he came over again after i tricked him into cleaning my room the last time. I asked him why he like to clean my room and he went "Whenever you open up your room, I always know - there's something in there for me to take."

Well he did go home with a 7600GT graphics card this time. I have an 8800GTS 320mb already so suck on that, biatch!

New Year has always been something of a holy celebration for me so cleaning my room was like throwing away all the bad luck from the year to leave space for luck of the next year to come in.
Please, stop the "BUT ZE NEW YEAR IZ BAZED ON ZE CHRISTIAN ANGLICAN CALENDER! YOO IZ ZEH BLAZPHEMY!" rubbish. Religion is fine with me, but starting to think you're so perfect because you're of a certain religion crosses the line for me. Back to the spider hole with you!

It was a major overhaul this time round. I finally found the ant's nest that's been buggering my room for about a few months now. As per Uncle Jimmy's advice, I washed the nest with kerosene and I was amazed that it actually DISSOLVED the nest and ants and eggs all together.

Tharik and I got bored after a while... shifting furnitures around and throwing shit away. I found my old stack of sparklers in my drawers. Tharik took it and started building fucking rockets out of it. I wanted to save those sparklers, dammit!

I suddenly had an idea and put in some good use of whatever bomb-making and explo-physics i've been thought by everyone's favourite Master from The Stunt Production.

In theory, the rocket I improvised from Tharik's would ASPLODE the moment it hits the main igniter. I set it up against my window sil, got ready to close the fucking window, got the camera rolling and lighted the fucker up.

It lighted.. and we watched as the spark moved up to the igniter. A loud hissing sound followed. The rocket didnt fly, but the initial ignition caused a big spew of backblast sparkler residue that covered a good part of my window. The smoke was awful and thick and the rocket disintegrated to pieces.

Later on we figured it didnt fly because i clipped one of the legs too tight to the window sil.

Well, apart from rubbish like that, we succesfully dropped the Singapore flag from my window to the pavemen below. I learnt never to trust Tharik to pick something back up. The flag was actually stuck beneath my window. All he had to do was reach over with a tong and take it back. He used a fucking KENDO STICK and PUSHED it over the edge. A bangla worker with a water spray came later and picked it up. My god, what an idiot the Tharik is.

But i gotta hand it to him... Good job on the cleaning of the room thing. I got lotsa rubbish out and I have more floor space now. I think there's SGD50 on the way to your bank account now. Could you hear it?

I spent my new year at Clarke Quay's Raining Bar. Jason brought me along and Eileen and Swee Kai were there.

I stepped in the bar and the first thing I thought of was a haircut because the place smelled like a fucking salon.

I'm fine with Chinese music. In fact, I like singing in Chinese some times. But when you start giving TWO microphones to dozenz other drunken, horny, teenagers and 98 percent of Chinese music is slow and lovey-dovey-generic-ity I think that's about the point where you turn crazy. I have never felt so relieved to hear Usher suddenly come on the TV screens. Then it was techno. Even better!

Why, yes, I have to admit, there are times I wonder to myself why do my friends look so mellow and clean. Jason and I agreed that sometimes it would be nice to have an Ah Beng or Hip Hopper around us once in a while. I cried on Jason's shoulder, yelling and reaching up to God asking, "WHY CANT I BE COOL?!?!"

Bragging rights, lol.

The usual high-ness ensues. I know now why many clubbing photos are so ugly and alike.

It'll nice one day to actually have a woman who'll actually kiss you on the cheek. Too bad mine's full of acne.

I dont think Jason's gonna get any from me though.

I loosened up quite a lot last night. I guess hanging around with Uncle Jimmy a lot made me braver in way. Or maybe that I was high again... but I started to make silly remarks with the girls serving us. Doesnt matter that they're plump or what. As long as they're nice. (Oh noe im thinking like 90 percent of desperate Malay men!)
I asked stupid questions like where's the toilet (right beside me) and show me how to close the door since it needed a bit of effort to close. Then when one of them came over to ask if we'd like any refill I pushed a few glasses and jugs to her and said thanks and smiled cheekily. Well I hope it was "cheekily".

Then this last girl came over. She cut her hand before while trying to open up the Martell bottle. She was complaining about it in Chinese. So i pulled her hand, looked at the cut and said it was nothing. I shook her hand and she shook back. I then looked at her and went "Your hands are soft. Very soft." She went, "AIYA. GIRL WAT."

Then I replied, "No... soft hands.. you have a lot of luck."

I call this the "Jimmy Low Conversation Starter"

What a night it was.

I met a lot of my Ahbeng-ahbeng-kia along the road outside at midnight. Lotsa ball grabbing happening there. I sent out my first New Year SMS to Henry. I think it was something special, that had everything i felt for him in those few words. It went,"Happy New Year and Good Luck, Motherfucker."

I was looking around for Javis but they informed me he was out with his girlfriend. Yea... just like Donald.

:(

Well here's to the year 2008. I have a feeling it's gonna be a lucky year for me this time, much luckier than last year. I mean, I won blackjack 3 times in a row right after midnight!!!

Have a good time.

Posted by Audi Labels: My Life

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		A New Chapter Wednesday, January 23, 2008 \| 0 comments I dont think i really can update on my own time anymore. I wasnt kidding when I mentioned about a fuckload of changes coming in this time. Hopefully the sidebars along here get updated much more regularly. Ciao. Posted by Audi Pretty smooth, aye? Thursday, January 10, 2008 \| 0 comments Ya ya ya i know i know i meant to update sooner. A ton of changes has taken place lately. I calculated my earnings last month and it ran over somewhere in the 800-1000 dollars mark. This month alone has been looking good.... what with all the money suddenly pouring in. Lucky for me, this time I'm making an effort to save some cash. I'm trying to raise a couple thousand dollars to buy me a QX6857 Quad Core Processor and a new motherboard before I go into NS... Cause you know.. i have a small penis and the size of my computer (e-penis) compensates for it. So I may be a six and half inch-er in real life but I'm a mother fucking 9 inch in real life! Ah ha! At the time of this writing, I can safely say that The Stunt Production has finally extended its hands into Bollywood. Uncle Jimmy is off in Mumbai now for a meeting, and I have full access to the Whampoa office for the next ten days. Lord knows i love to bury myself in rifles and pistols and swords. Orgasmoville. Since no one is left in Singapore to run the company, I'm being sent off this 19th to a show with one of his old friend to rig up some effects. It's my first time standing out there on my own doing stuff like this... I'm not sure what to expect. Maybe a missing finger or two at most. And not my finger. After the hoo-ha a few weeks ago, with the girl, I've somehow felt relieved. Sure, i get restless sometimes and feel like something is missing but that only means I have more free time to chew nuts. And by chewing nuts, I spent it with some of the old guys from secondary school. Just in luck that all of us got dumped by our lovers (oh, wait, I dumped mine...) so what more than to stay over, up all night, cursing all the girls that fucked all over us, waving our angry fists into the air, then regretting not actually doing things we've always wanted to do together, crying rivers at the same time and of course... have little tiny adventures around the neighborhood. It was fucking nice... but god knows there will come a time i better be serious and find one lady to settle down with. Ill give myself a target... hmmm... try ten years. Honestly, when i came back to school a couple of days ago I'm starting to think whether this little boy inside of me tagging my testicles saying,"YOO ARE NEGLECTING SKOOL!" really is saying the truth. Here I see Daryl stressing out all over the editing station, Kai Xiang and Zhong Hui all moody with their AFP projects. People running around loading lights into box trucks then zooming off to location and every effing second someone comes to me sighing, "I'm so tired.. I didnt sleep last night." What the hell can i do? Keep you company? Would you like a motherfucking pillow? But hey... school ends the middle of next month. All the best. Im running a few things right now that I'd like to keep under the sheets for now so this blog probably isnt gonna move much for the next few weeks. Doesn't make a difference anyways... its not like anyone ever leaves this place loving me more. All i get are some bastards telling me what i can and cannot do at every turn I make and accusing me on retarded deductions they brilliantly thought up with whatever tiny bit of thing they know of from this fucking webpage. Fucked. Up. Adios. Posted by Audi Labels: Filmmaking , Jimmy Low , My Life , Things to come.... Year 2008 Tuesday, January 01, 2008 \| 0 comments In the light of the festive season, I guess it was just about time that I took a rest from pretty much everything - school, work, and sex. On the same note, the entire film industry in Singapore has seemingly stopped turning as well. With no jobs on, I'm getting pretty restless. If my dad wants to complain about me always on the comp again, I'll really have to wonder what he wants - me going out to work as a 'coolie' or sit at home under his "watchful" eyes while i do nothing. Tharik never fails to entertain me during job down-time. So we met up and went ahead for our usual Cyber-Shopping. There's simply nothing like going around looking at gadgets, rubbing our cocks on them and savouring the sweet smell of new plastic when we take them out of boxes... then we dont buy them. Tna and I are game fanatics. Though he's more the usual "I PLAY FOR FUN!!!11!!", I like to tear my games apart and check what's under the hood. Though most of the time I'm stuck at actually LOOKING for the hook that releases the hood. Being the lonely faggots we are, we bought ourselves some Xmas presents for ourselves. That's COD 4 (read: GAME OF TEH YEAR 2007!!!) for him and Arma:Queen's Gambit for me. I did a bit of flirting on the counter and managed to get us a wee bit of discount for our games. Like about... 4 dollars cheaper. I always knew I'm good at flirting... even though the person behind the counter was a GUY. AAARGGGHH!!!! School called back again a few days ago. My legs went heavy. Probably its the days of laziness and staying at home. I really didnt feel like going. Probably it's that bad taste in my mouth the school's management left for the past two semesters. But i did go back anyways... and ON TIME. Whee. I walked through the corridors of Ngee Ann FSV and my god how much i hated this place. Then I realised why i was able to endure every bullshit coming in from the top of the hill; TEH FRENZZZ!!!! I caught up with Leon, Dash, Ben, Mitch, etc etc while waiting for our superstar Daryl to come. I saw Leon's edit for his Final Project and I am still amazed that other people still dare to talk big about themselves being EDITORS. Leon's work was amazing and I dont mind at all paying him some cash for any editing i need for The Stunt Production. Ah yes, then it was IBP meeting all over again. If it wasnt for the other 3 guys I'll readily die for in the team I wouldnt have bothered at all anymore. Well that's school for you. The days leading up to the New Year was pretty cool. After the fucked up issue between two of my friends I received quite a few calls from people I thought had fucked off long ago. It was nice getting calls from them again... even though most of them went like "AUDI HELP ME IM IN DEEP SHIT!" like I'm a fucking Church with 5-storey basements for them to hide in. But we're all the same and same. Tharik came over again one morning. I'm quite surprised he came over again after i tricked him into cleaning my room the last time. I asked him why he like to clean my room and he went "Whenever you open up your room, I always know - there's something in there for me to take." Well he did go home with a 7600GT graphics card this time. I have an 8800GTS 320mb already so suck on that, biatch! New Year has always been something of a holy celebration for me so cleaning my room was like throwing away all the bad luck from the year to leave space for luck of the next year to come in. Please, stop the "BUT ZE NEW YEAR IZ BAZED ON ZE CHRISTIAN ANGLICAN CALENDER! YOO IZ ZEH BLAZPHEMY!" rubbish. Religion is fine with me, but starting to think you're so perfect because you're of a certain religion crosses the line for me. Back to the spider hole with you! It was a major overhaul this time round. I finally found the ant's nest that's been buggering my room for about a few months now. As per Uncle Jimmy's advice, I washed the nest with kerosene and I was amazed that it actually DISSOLVED the nest and ants and eggs all together. Tharik and I got bored after a while... shifting furnitures around and throwing shit away. I found my old stack of sparklers in my drawers. Tharik took it and started building fucking rockets out of it. I wanted to save those sparklers, dammit! I suddenly had an idea and put in some good use of whatever bomb-making and explo-physics i've been thought by everyone's favourite Master from The Stunt Production. In theory, the rocket I improvised from Tharik's would ASPLODE the moment it hits the main igniter. I set it up against my window sil, got ready to close the fucking window, got the camera rolling and lighted the fucker up. It lighted.. and we watched as the spark moved up to the igniter. A loud hissing sound followed. The rocket didnt fly, but the initial ignition caused a big spew of backblast sparkler residue that covered a good part of my window. The smoke was awful and thick and the rocket disintegrated to pieces. Later on we figured it didnt fly because i clipped one of the legs too tight to the window sil. Well, apart from rubbish like that, we succesfully dropped the Singapore flag from my window to the pavemen below. I learnt never to trust Tharik to pick something back up. The flag was actually stuck beneath my window. All he had to do was reach over with a tong and take it back. He used a fucking KENDO STICK and PUSHED it over the edge. A bangla worker with a water spray came later and picked it up. My god, what an idiot the Tharik is. But i gotta hand it to him... Good job on the cleaning of the room thing. I got lotsa rubbish out and I have more floor space now. I think there's SGD50 on the way to your bank account now. Could you hear it? I spent my new year at Clarke Quay's Raining Bar. Jason brought me along and Eileen and Swee Kai were there. I stepped in the bar and the first thing I thought of was a haircut because the place smelled like a fucking salon. I'm fine with Chinese music. In fact, I like singing in Chinese some times. But when you start giving TWO microphones to dozenz other drunken, horny, teenagers and 98 percent of Chinese music is slow and lovey-dovey-generic-ity I think that's about the point where you turn crazy. I have never felt so relieved to hear Usher suddenly come on the TV screens. Then it was techno. Even better! Why, yes, I have to admit, there are times I wonder to myself why do my friends look so mellow and clean. Jason and I agreed that sometimes it would be nice to have an Ah Beng or Hip Hopper around us once in a while. I cried on Jason's shoulder, yelling and reaching up to God asking, "WHY CANT I BE COOL?!?!" Bragging rights, lol. The usual high-ness ensues. I know now why many clubbing photos are so ugly and alike. It'll nice one day to actually have a woman who'll actually kiss you on the cheek. Too bad mine's full of acne. I dont think Jason's gonna get any from me though. I loosened up quite a lot last night. I guess hanging around with Uncle Jimmy a lot made me braver in way. Or maybe that I was high again... but I started to make silly remarks with the girls serving us. Doesnt matter that they're plump or what. As long as they're nice. (Oh noe im thinking like 90 percent of desperate Malay men!) I asked stupid questions like where's the toilet (right beside me) and show me how to close the door since it needed a bit of effort to close. Then when one of them came over to ask if we'd like any refill I pushed a few glasses and jugs to her and said thanks and smiled cheekily. Well I hope it was "cheekily". Then this last girl came over. She cut her hand before while trying to open up the Martell bottle. She was complaining about it in Chinese. So i pulled her hand, looked at the cut and said it was nothing. I shook her hand and she shook back. I then looked at her and went "Your hands are soft. Very soft." She went, "AIYA. GIRL WAT." Then I replied, "No... soft hands.. you have a lot of luck." I call this the "Jimmy Low Conversation Starter" What a night it was. I met a lot of my Ahbeng-ahbeng-kia along the road outside at midnight. Lotsa ball grabbing happening there. I sent out my first New Year SMS to Henry. I think it was something special, that had everything i felt for him in those few words. It went,"Happy New Year and Good Luck, Motherfucker." I was looking around for Javis but they informed me he was out with his girlfriend. Yea... just like Donald. :( Well here's to the year 2008. I have a feeling it's gonna be a lucky year for me this time, much luckier than last year. I mean, I won blackjack 3 times in a row right after midnight!!! Have a good time. Posted by Audi Labels: My Life Newer Posts Older Posts Home	Search Subscribe to this blog. Leave a comment! Or a note at the Chatbox below! Thanks! Twitter Updates Plurk Plurk.com Be a Fan Omg, a chatbox! Network Laremy Lee Nuffnang Ads Blog Archive ► 2009 (62) ► August (1) ► June (1) ► May (7) ► April (10) ► March (11) ► February (14) ► January (18) ▼ 2008 (48) ► December (12) ► November (12) ► October (7) ► September (6) ► June (1) ► May (2) ► April (3) ► February (2) ▼ January (3) A New Chapter Pretty smooth, aye? Year 2008 ► 2007 (80) ► December (3) ► November (9) ► October (9) ► September (11) ► August (12) ► July (10) ► June (10) ► May (5) ► April (10) ► January (1) ► 2006 (177) ► December (4) ► October (6) ► September (10) ► August (17) ► July (24) ► June (17) ► May (17) ► April (11) ► March (23) ► February (20) ► January (28) ► 2005 (167) ► December (19) ► November (25) ► October (20) ► September (16) ► August (19) ► July (13) ► June (11) ► May (15) ► April (21) ► March (3) ► February (2) ► January (3) ► 2004 (14) ► November (1) ► October (13) Labels My Life (138) Filmmaking (82) Jimmy Low (42) Photography (33) Sincere coffessions (30) National Service (29) Scale Modeling (27) I did it for the lulz (26) Things to come.... (23) Reflections (22) Travel and Adventure (21) Henry (17) Musings (9) Experimental (8) Events (6) Sylvester Sim (5) Gaming and Tech (1) About Me Audi Khalid 28th January 1988 Yishun, Singapore Currently serving National Service. ! BLOG STATUS !: Upcoming Posts: