This is what happens when you get rejected…. And your friends question your choice.
I didn’t know I had that much blood!
Six months ago I told vis that I’d take him around Singapore in my car. Six months later I’m still walking around, sweating in my jeans and having girls lick the sweat off my balls. (Thanks, Tammy!)
Then I called Donald and told him that I’d go sign up for Basic Theory Test on his birthday. That day came and went. Nth was done. As usual.
But a promise is a promise, rite? So when I found out he went to register for BTT with henry a month ago, I dressed myself up, stood on a chair, raised my chest up high, showed everyone my super strong erection, and proclaimed, “I shall not be defeated!” and walked straight to YCK’s driving school.
Nabeh the walk from yishun to yck damn long sia.
However one day Henry came to me last week after he took his test and said….. “I failed. Im having a bad day.”
Dotx.
Then I asked abt Donald (aiya not say I wan to say la hor but I just curious mah….) and the guy lost his wallet (AGAIN!!!!) so didn’t take the test.
Wah liew.. BTT can be so hard?
So at AMK during our k-pool-watch-aik-own-us-all he point his finger up and down my face and warn, “I tell you ar you better study okay. Don’t think you so smart. You so good. You so this and that. You better study. Don’t end up like me.”
What did I do wrong!?!??! Why say until liddat!!!?!?
So we kiss kiss make up and everything is okay now. Brother brother never fight wan… fight already is considered friend only……. NOT.
My mother is super kiasu also. Older generation mah….. so I found three books on my mattress last month; BTT, ATT and SMLJ MCQ!!!!!!
Its like im studying for O levels and the MCQ book looked so much like the Ten Year Series useless piece of garbage crap (so thick, all the same questions, lousy fonts and printing.)
But I dunno why the da tou wan to gimme his own test on that day. My BTT test time is during my class! Shitx! And furthermore I had to do a presentation! And I came late by half an hour!
Of course. My malay society teacher damn doo lan la. SO I whack her ask her gimme face.
She kaotao to me so many times and said okay I can present if the grp going up now would let me. So I went to the group, flash them my dragon tattoo….. but then they laugh!
Knn why!?! Then I noticed I show them the wrong dragon! Wah liew damn pai seh sia show my little dragon.
So I took off my shirt and show them my six little dragon eggs (my abs la) and they say sorry sorry and I presented.
Presenting was okay… until the question and answer period.
OMG why do all these student ambassadors like to kpkb so much? Still must be so xia lan meh ask us so formally? Brother brother lei. My dragon bigger than yours dun need so formal la.
I was supsoed to leave at 2pm. But the bloody ambassador idiot fucker keep talking la about similanjiao life and divorce rates and weddings and ccb all his pimple problem! In the end I flex my muscle then he saw and he faster excuse himself go toilet. Knn next time I flex ur backside then you know.
SO I ran down straight after… jump into the car, and my mother drive me off. Test started at 315. and at 3pm I’m still in ngee ann!
I pray and pray and pray to the big guy and finally, for some reason, he say okay and my car fly across Singapore to YCK. I went up to the counter and the three old ladies over there gossiping about some bra brand or what. I slam the table and told them, “OIE! Handsome guy wan take test! Where ar?!”
And they di siao me!
So I found my own way. Came in, door still open! Heng ar! The uncle behind the desk took my IC. I take back and whack his face tell him dun steal can?!
Then I realized he needed to check for my attendance. Chey la. Say earlier please.
They told me to go to computer number 11!
Wow! Eleven! Unlucky number! World Trade Centre still fresh in our minds u know!
And I thought really unlucky la; my computer didn’t have a keyboard or mouse!
I stare at the uncle. He scared to look at me. So I look at the other people. All touching the screen like testing geylang chiobu whethere tender anot. Then I realized,”Wah… so high tech ar!? Touch screen lei!”
And the test really impressed me. It was so colourful.. can press “next question” or “last question”. But I damn doo lan because go no “show answers” button. Zzz.
Some of the questions even got video! Like the “Which car should go first? The Subaru, Mercedes, or Mitsubishi.”
So I click on the answer that said, “Mitsubishi la! Cos Mercedes only stuck up tua neh bu ppl drive, Subaru a lot of weird people.. and mitsubishi manufacture our fridge and aircon so if nv give face the company will stop producing them. Then all our food spoil.”
Then a window pop up. Aiyo virus ar?
“You have reached the last question. Submit?”
I recheck my work again…. Still got 30 minutes to spend so relax la. In the end I got bored so I clicked on submit…
Then TING! Another window pop up!
PASSED.
THANKS YOU!!!!! THANKS YOU!!!!
So I jumped around the room, slap other people’s head.. and wave my ic infront of the uncle.
Then I ask him after that where to go? Can go home ar?
U noe what he do? He ccb still can ask me sit down and lecture me ar knn!
“See la.. you come late.. u missed the briefing.. haiz…”
Na beh u talk to the student ambassador la… he will give u all the evidence and support and solutions.
Me? I will do it the PAP way – act as if I care and smile.
So I signed up for the Finals.. and will be next month, 24th.
Vote for me okay! I know I cannot perform, no looks, no education, very ugly also… but just vote la… I wan be Driving Idol. I know that the vote doesn’t matter la because the producer actually choose wan but… just vote la.. friend friend lei….
I already promised Vis I would drive him around Singapore on my birthday, which is in January.
Hopefully my father will give me what I wished for – a Toyota Liteace.
Why? Because if your friend wan to hank panky with his girl, got space!
Brother brother what…. Must support each other! Then I can record them having sex! Wah… friend porn…. New genre…..
And because I know some of you don’t like it when I start to get into my beng persona (which really isn’t exactly beng), I’ll make it up to u la hor.
Below is a video, starring our very own star, Shah Iskandar Mahfuz!!!! This video was taken and edited last year but I happened to find it among my hard drives (500gb in total! Song bo?!?!?)
We were out at Holland V that day and started to get high with his friend. Then the jokes started pouring in. Enjoy it! I just thought I should make does irritated ones smile a bit.
Shah ownz.
Today I went out with Hasrul and Tanny. Na beh… we made fun of HAsrul’s anus (his anus got teeth! Then he can chew his shit! Nyam nyam nyam….) and all that.
Then we came up with all these potential riot-inducing jokes. I just hope some readers take it with a large tablespoon of salt.
You know the world is screwed up when Christians are worshipping a Jewish carpenter…. And Buddhists are worshipping an Indian.
Still too lame for you? Okay….
What do you call and Indian sitting under a tree?
.
.
…
…
.
.
..
Fertilizer.
I didn’t know I had that much blood!
Six months ago I told vis that I’d take him around Singapore in my car. Six months later I’m still walking around, sweating in my jeans and having girls lick the sweat off my balls. (Thanks, Tammy!)
Then I called Donald and told him that I’d go sign up for Basic Theory Test on his birthday. That day came and went. Nth was done. As usual.
But a promise is a promise, rite? So when I found out he went to register for BTT with henry a month ago, I dressed myself up, stood on a chair, raised my chest up high, showed everyone my super strong erection, and proclaimed, “I shall not be defeated!” and walked straight to YCK’s driving school.
Nabeh the walk from yishun to yck damn long sia.
However one day Henry came to me last week after he took his test and said….. “I failed. Im having a bad day.”
Dotx.
Then I asked abt Donald (aiya not say I wan to say la hor but I just curious mah….) and the guy lost his wallet (AGAIN!!!!) so didn’t take the test.
Wah liew.. BTT can be so hard?
So at AMK during our k-pool-watch-aik-own-us-all he point his finger up and down my face and warn, “I tell you ar you better study okay. Don’t think you so smart. You so good. You so this and that. You better study. Don’t end up like me.”
What did I do wrong!?!??! Why say until liddat!!!?!?
So we kiss kiss make up and everything is okay now. Brother brother never fight wan… fight already is considered friend only……. NOT.
My mother is super kiasu also. Older generation mah….. so I found three books on my mattress last month; BTT, ATT and SMLJ MCQ!!!!!!
Its like im studying for O levels and the MCQ book looked so much like the Ten Year Series useless piece of garbage crap (so thick, all the same questions, lousy fonts and printing.)
But I dunno why the da tou wan to gimme his own test on that day. My BTT test time is during my class! Shitx! And furthermore I had to do a presentation! And I came late by half an hour!
Of course. My malay society teacher damn doo lan la. SO I whack her ask her gimme face.
She kaotao to me so many times and said okay I can present if the grp going up now would let me. So I went to the group, flash them my dragon tattoo….. but then they laugh!
Knn why!?! Then I noticed I show them the wrong dragon! Wah liew damn pai seh sia show my little dragon.
So I took off my shirt and show them my six little dragon eggs (my abs la) and they say sorry sorry and I presented.
Presenting was okay… until the question and answer period.
OMG why do all these student ambassadors like to kpkb so much? Still must be so xia lan meh ask us so formally? Brother brother lei. My dragon bigger than yours dun need so formal la.
I was supsoed to leave at 2pm. But the bloody ambassador idiot fucker keep talking la about similanjiao life and divorce rates and weddings and ccb all his pimple problem! In the end I flex my muscle then he saw and he faster excuse himself go toilet. Knn next time I flex ur backside then you know.
SO I ran down straight after… jump into the car, and my mother drive me off. Test started at 315. and at 3pm I’m still in ngee ann!
I pray and pray and pray to the big guy and finally, for some reason, he say okay and my car fly across Singapore to YCK. I went up to the counter and the three old ladies over there gossiping about some bra brand or what. I slam the table and told them, “OIE! Handsome guy wan take test! Where ar?!”
And they di siao me!
So I found my own way. Came in, door still open! Heng ar! The uncle behind the desk took my IC. I take back and whack his face tell him dun steal can?!
Then I realized he needed to check for my attendance. Chey la. Say earlier please.
They told me to go to computer number 11!
Wow! Eleven! Unlucky number! World Trade Centre still fresh in our minds u know!
And I thought really unlucky la; my computer didn’t have a keyboard or mouse!
I stare at the uncle. He scared to look at me. So I look at the other people. All touching the screen like testing geylang chiobu whethere tender anot. Then I realized,”Wah… so high tech ar!? Touch screen lei!”
And the test really impressed me. It was so colourful.. can press “next question” or “last question”. But I damn doo lan because go no “show answers” button. Zzz.
Some of the questions even got video! Like the “Which car should go first? The Subaru, Mercedes, or Mitsubishi.”
So I click on the answer that said, “Mitsubishi la! Cos Mercedes only stuck up tua neh bu ppl drive, Subaru a lot of weird people.. and mitsubishi manufacture our fridge and aircon so if nv give face the company will stop producing them. Then all our food spoil.”
Then a window pop up. Aiyo virus ar?
“You have reached the last question. Submit?”
I recheck my work again…. Still got 30 minutes to spend so relax la. In the end I got bored so I clicked on submit…
Then TING! Another window pop up!
PASSED.
THANKS YOU!!!!! THANKS YOU!!!!
So I jumped around the room, slap other people’s head.. and wave my ic infront of the uncle.
Then I ask him after that where to go? Can go home ar?
U noe what he do? He ccb still can ask me sit down and lecture me ar knn!
“See la.. you come late.. u missed the briefing.. haiz…”
Na beh u talk to the student ambassador la… he will give u all the evidence and support and solutions.
Me? I will do it the PAP way – act as if I care and smile.
So I signed up for the Finals.. and will be next month, 24th.
Vote for me okay! I know I cannot perform, no looks, no education, very ugly also… but just vote la… I wan be Driving Idol. I know that the vote doesn’t matter la because the producer actually choose wan but… just vote la.. friend friend lei….
I already promised Vis I would drive him around Singapore on my birthday, which is in January.
Hopefully my father will give me what I wished for – a Toyota Liteace.
Why? Because if your friend wan to hank panky with his girl, got space!
Brother brother what…. Must support each other! Then I can record them having sex! Wah… friend porn…. New genre…..
And because I know some of you don’t like it when I start to get into my beng persona (which really isn’t exactly beng), I’ll make it up to u la hor.
Below is a video, starring our very own star, Shah Iskandar Mahfuz!!!! This video was taken and edited last year but I happened to find it among my hard drives (500gb in total! Song bo?!?!?)
We were out at Holland V that day and started to get high with his friend. Then the jokes started pouring in. Enjoy it! I just thought I should make does irritated ones smile a bit.
Shah ownz.
Today I went out with Hasrul and Tanny. Na beh… we made fun of HAsrul’s anus (his anus got teeth! Then he can chew his shit! Nyam nyam nyam….) and all that.
Then we came up with all these potential riot-inducing jokes. I just hope some readers take it with a large tablespoon of salt.
You know the world is screwed up when Christians are worshipping a Jewish carpenter…. And Buddhists are worshipping an Indian.
Still too lame for you? Okay….
What do you call and Indian sitting under a tree?
.
.
…
…
.
.
..
Fertilizer.
Posted by
Audi
RSS
