I still dont understand. Why cant i ever keep a long-term relationship?
It always starts with me simply admiring the girl (girl girl GIRL!!!....) then watching her legs... butt.... torso..... then if nothing else happens... my attention goes elsewhere....
Then sometimes...i get news... "oh mah gott audi.... she likes you..."... ok.. fine... what's for lunch?
but then again.... sometimes... i get jiggy with it... start getting physical.... as in... teasing... slapping...tapping.... yeah...
then poof!.... in a relationship....
then maybe a month or two later... aww..... my little willy wonka gets tired and my chest feels more.... irritated.... and thus this is when i say "bye bye" to the person even though that person was super-uber-fantastik!.....
normally..... the other person would be thrown off-guard by a mile and thus follows a series of very draggy and tiresome process of "cleaning up papers"....
I think i'm very fickle.. particularly in relationships. It is so immature and unfair. Basically... it sucks.
Some of you might remember me as being that asswipe who'd go miles just to get that chocolate bar for ahem ahem or asking friends if they ever need anything from here or there. .... ... or sometimes just by that special super delicious yet expensive italian ice cream from town and high-tailing it back to Yishun to be given to the receiver early in the morning....( okay.. fine.. 11am's not early.)
I can do that.. i dont mind... but once that mentality of "we are in a special relationship" is introduced... i just get.... well..... bored.
The stereotypical responsibilities of the man always having to acc the girl and buy silly crap for her every 20 nanoseconds is embedded in my head. I dont do it... I detest those kidns of actions... it's too submissive for a guy i think... so here i am... dealing with my mental backfire and all that. So.... how do i treat my girl (woman? uh... ok... still not so sure.. arent they too big for me?) ?
hmmm how do i treat my special partner?
i think... to many... it's crap-treatment.
Hold hands? nah no thanks.... whoops... how did my hand get there? :p
Kiss? sure!... nah on second thought... maybe next time............. (pause)........ kiss... :P
movies? boooring..... orcahrd? booooring.... let me give some suggestions..... okay.... i lend u this game... install it... ok ok i'll meet u tonight online and we'll shoot down Messerschmitts together... (what? it's cool... a couple fighting together...)
The sun is shining.... the surounding is quiet.... here ya go... a present... .... ..... ... for what? oh... i just felt like it...
walk walk walk down the corridor.... whoops... did i just give u a peck on the cheek? and here's another.... (pause).... just kidding.. (taps shoulders)
Okay girl... change ur clothes... we're going to climb some mountain...
Hear my laugh... my evil.... high-pitched laugh!!! mauahhahah!!!! hia hia hia hia!!!
and not forgetting my favourite treatment...
Hey.. could u settle that bill please?
i told javis how i treated my partner... particularly Wei Shan... ... he didnt like it one bit and told me i was being very harsh and in some cases.... an asshole...
I donno... maybe it's the way i treat my partners..... maybe it's my mentality..... maybe I'm just not cut out to have a partner now.... maybe because all my partners were young teenagers..... maybe maybe maybe....
but i know that i cant keep one any longer than 3 months.....
I was happy with wei shan... our relationship lasted 5 months (my longest!!.... ... what?) ... whee.... but if i were to be very critical.... i'd say it only lasted 3 months... after that... i got very bored and started disappearing......
*maybe i'm missing something.... that thing called love?.... hmmm *speculates* what are we supposed to feel anyways?
And sorry, what? give in to them? my partners? NO!!! NO bloody way!!
..........
okay fine maybe sometimes.... but no no no! i will NOT be with my partner 24/7! i wont be calling her sweet names all the time and no no no.... i will not take neoprints!!! and eff you. cant she be much more tougher?!?!
.....
So isnt it apparent that i'm currently unattached and messed up on one side of my brain now?
.....
and i'm sleeping around 5-6 am these days after subconcious sessions and sessions of thinking (while a game is running) and munching on cereals out-of-the-box..... definitely not a good sign of my physical and mental status... something's bothering me but whatever..
.......................
You know... there is no such thing as someone sacrficing his needs and his own personal bla bla/goals/visions/himself for what ever reason like humanitarian aid or community work and such.
No such thing. Let me explain.
You see... i think.... and have read... that EVERYONE of us here.. CRAVES to feel important and ultimately.. feel good. Sure.. why not? everyone needs to feel good, right? but to feel important? to feel recognised? yes... yes... even to you... you self-proclaimed selfless patriot.
Okay let's review.... simple things..
why do you want to please that someone? oh because if you do.. you'll feel taht you've accomplished something.. thuse u feel good. duh... plus.. u get his attention... aha... recognition... DOH.
Food.... why that banana?
The colour is nice... you're hungry..... you like bananas.... YOU YOU YOU... it's all about you!
This little wicked theory is in fact, being used....... look at our advertisements (good ones we know, at least).... it's all about, YOU....
that's how they get ur attention... make things appeal to YOU... if it were for Mr. Tom, Dick and Harry from Tom's Dick Is Hairy Corp then i guess you wont be interested.
YOU... aww we all just love that word.....
let me take a very twisted example.... okay... those people who suddenly feel compassionate to do something for the affected people of a very very horrible disaster.
yes i know.. people do have huge amounts of compassion sometimes so put ur guns down and sit; i'm not finished yet.
But what if they did not succumb to the desire to help these people? The person might feel anxious... helpless.... guilty... and all that... they wont FEEL good.
there... such a simple theory.
And before i end my rant... ok hmm.... nah... nvm.. i'm done... i'll hold my tongue on this one.
.........................................
Ah yes... Audi explains LIFE....
Why are we here on earth?
TO some.. to please our parents (for...?).. to some others... make money.... to more others... SEX...... but no... sorry... i think that that's just part of why we're here.
btw... i think money is not that important... anyone can live without money... just go elsewhere if you're broke.... seriously.
ermm.. okay... so why are we here? I say... we're here to do a simple thing..... pray to God....
ahh yes... once God comes into play... everything falls into place..... doesnt it?
please our parents.. ahh... God's teachings...... make money.. but for what? no.. not material gain... but use it to further expand ur knowledge and HELP OTHERS (geeezz!!! and you rich bastards spend it on your stupid little underground gold plated jacuzzi...) and sex... yes.. to copulate and make children! make new Audi-s and Bloggers! evolve into a superior human race where AIDS is nothing!... doh... not stick ur dick into any hairy arses and animals....
So yes... ultimately.. i thnk we're here to please God Almighty....
.........................................
but then again.. my twisted thnking kicks in... why are here? are we some sort of experimental beings... some play thing...... that higher beings are watching and are able to manifest themselves into things like angels and all that... are we in something like a strategy game? gain status.. level... gain mana.... get that super-rare gem and all that...
argh... i fried my brain.... ok... tzzt..... brain.. fried..... tzzzt.....
...........................................................
btw... i just realised.. you guys using Internet Explorer would get this irritating little pop-up everytime u enter here... uh.. ok... i cant disable it.. sorry.... it's affiliated to the tagboard.... and for those using Mozilla Firefox (like me... and everyone else should use... because IE is a virus-nest in someway) wont have much problems.... just that the media player will end up to the SIDE of the post instead of the bottom of the page like in IE and Firefox users get a smaller, distorted video too.... IE gives the video in it full size. So there.
It always starts with me simply admiring the girl (girl girl GIRL!!!....) then watching her legs... butt.... torso..... then if nothing else happens... my attention goes elsewhere....
Then sometimes...i get news... "oh mah gott audi.... she likes you..."... ok.. fine... what's for lunch?
but then again.... sometimes... i get jiggy with it... start getting physical.... as in... teasing... slapping...tapping.... yeah...
then poof!.... in a relationship....
then maybe a month or two later... aww..... my little willy wonka gets tired and my chest feels more.... irritated.... and thus this is when i say "bye bye" to the person even though that person was super-uber-fantastik!.....
normally..... the other person would be thrown off-guard by a mile and thus follows a series of very draggy and tiresome process of "cleaning up papers"....
I think i'm very fickle.. particularly in relationships. It is so immature and unfair. Basically... it sucks.
Some of you might remember me as being that asswipe who'd go miles just to get that chocolate bar for ahem ahem or asking friends if they ever need anything from here or there. .... ... or sometimes just by that special super delicious yet expensive italian ice cream from town and high-tailing it back to Yishun to be given to the receiver early in the morning....( okay.. fine.. 11am's not early.)
I can do that.. i dont mind... but once that mentality of "we are in a special relationship" is introduced... i just get.... well..... bored.
The stereotypical responsibilities of the man always having to acc the girl and buy silly crap for her every 20 nanoseconds is embedded in my head. I dont do it... I detest those kidns of actions... it's too submissive for a guy i think... so here i am... dealing with my mental backfire and all that. So.... how do i treat my girl (woman? uh... ok... still not so sure.. arent they too big for me?) ?
hmmm how do i treat my special partner?
i think... to many... it's crap-treatment.
Hold hands? nah no thanks.... whoops... how did my hand get there? :p
Kiss? sure!... nah on second thought... maybe next time............. (pause)........ kiss... :P
movies? boooring..... orcahrd? booooring.... let me give some suggestions..... okay.... i lend u this game... install it... ok ok i'll meet u tonight online and we'll shoot down Messerschmitts together... (what? it's cool... a couple fighting together...)
The sun is shining.... the surounding is quiet.... here ya go... a present... .... ..... ... for what? oh... i just felt like it...
walk walk walk down the corridor.... whoops... did i just give u a peck on the cheek? and here's another.... (pause).... just kidding.. (taps shoulders)
Okay girl... change ur clothes... we're going to climb some mountain...
Hear my laugh... my evil.... high-pitched laugh!!! mauahhahah!!!! hia hia hia hia!!!
and not forgetting my favourite treatment...
Hey.. could u settle that bill please?
i told javis how i treated my partner... particularly Wei Shan... ... he didnt like it one bit and told me i was being very harsh and in some cases.... an asshole...
I donno... maybe it's the way i treat my partners..... maybe it's my mentality..... maybe I'm just not cut out to have a partner now.... maybe because all my partners were young teenagers..... maybe maybe maybe....
but i know that i cant keep one any longer than 3 months.....
I was happy with wei shan... our relationship lasted 5 months (my longest!!.... ... what?) ... whee.... but if i were to be very critical.... i'd say it only lasted 3 months... after that... i got very bored and started disappearing......
*maybe i'm missing something.... that thing called love?.... hmmm *speculates* what are we supposed to feel anyways?
And sorry, what? give in to them? my partners? NO!!! NO bloody way!!
..........
okay fine maybe sometimes.... but no no no! i will NOT be with my partner 24/7! i wont be calling her sweet names all the time and no no no.... i will not take neoprints!!! and eff you. cant she be much more tougher?!?!
.....
So isnt it apparent that i'm currently unattached and messed up on one side of my brain now?
.....
and i'm sleeping around 5-6 am these days after subconcious sessions and sessions of thinking (while a game is running) and munching on cereals out-of-the-box..... definitely not a good sign of my physical and mental status... something's bothering me but whatever..
.......................
You know... there is no such thing as someone sacrficing his needs and his own personal bla bla/goals/visions/himself for what ever reason like humanitarian aid or community work and such.
No such thing. Let me explain.
You see... i think.... and have read... that EVERYONE of us here.. CRAVES to feel important and ultimately.. feel good. Sure.. why not? everyone needs to feel good, right? but to feel important? to feel recognised? yes... yes... even to you... you self-proclaimed selfless patriot.
Okay let's review.... simple things..
why do you want to please that someone? oh because if you do.. you'll feel taht you've accomplished something.. thuse u feel good. duh... plus.. u get his attention... aha... recognition... DOH.
Food.... why that banana?
The colour is nice... you're hungry..... you like bananas.... YOU YOU YOU... it's all about you!
This little wicked theory is in fact, being used....... look at our advertisements (good ones we know, at least).... it's all about, YOU....
that's how they get ur attention... make things appeal to YOU... if it were for Mr. Tom, Dick and Harry from Tom's Dick Is Hairy Corp then i guess you wont be interested.
YOU... aww we all just love that word.....
let me take a very twisted example.... okay... those people who suddenly feel compassionate to do something for the affected people of a very very horrible disaster.
yes i know.. people do have huge amounts of compassion sometimes so put ur guns down and sit; i'm not finished yet.
But what if they did not succumb to the desire to help these people? The person might feel anxious... helpless.... guilty... and all that... they wont FEEL good.
there... such a simple theory.
And before i end my rant... ok hmm.... nah... nvm.. i'm done... i'll hold my tongue on this one.
.........................................
Ah yes... Audi explains LIFE....
Why are we here on earth?
TO some.. to please our parents (for...?).. to some others... make money.... to more others... SEX...... but no... sorry... i think that that's just part of why we're here.
btw... i think money is not that important... anyone can live without money... just go elsewhere if you're broke.... seriously.
ermm.. okay... so why are we here? I say... we're here to do a simple thing..... pray to God....
ahh yes... once God comes into play... everything falls into place..... doesnt it?
please our parents.. ahh... God's teachings...... make money.. but for what? no.. not material gain... but use it to further expand ur knowledge and HELP OTHERS (geeezz!!! and you rich bastards spend it on your stupid little underground gold plated jacuzzi...) and sex... yes.. to copulate and make children! make new Audi-s and Bloggers! evolve into a superior human race where AIDS is nothing!... doh... not stick ur dick into any hairy arses and animals....
So yes... ultimately.. i thnk we're here to please God Almighty....
.........................................
but then again.. my twisted thnking kicks in... why are here? are we some sort of experimental beings... some play thing...... that higher beings are watching and are able to manifest themselves into things like angels and all that... are we in something like a strategy game? gain status.. level... gain mana.... get that super-rare gem and all that...
argh... i fried my brain.... ok... tzzt..... brain.. fried..... tzzzt.....
...........................................................
btw... i just realised.. you guys using Internet Explorer would get this irritating little pop-up everytime u enter here... uh.. ok... i cant disable it.. sorry.... it's affiliated to the tagboard.... and for those using Mozilla Firefox (like me... and everyone else should use... because IE is a virus-nest in someway) wont have much problems.... just that the media player will end up to the SIDE of the post instead of the bottom of the page like in IE and Firefox users get a smaller, distorted video too.... IE gives the video in it full size. So there.
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