And now I shall bitch about our tabloid....
Friday, October 28, 2005 |  
lol heard about that fact that you cant lick your elbow? (then everybpody starts trying lol...)

well i can.. and i sure dont htink i have the tongue of a cow.....

maybe cos my neck is longer than other people... :(

haha.. jsut one of the things you start doing when you never step outta the house, literally, for three straight weeks.

....and the internet becomes your best friend, of course.

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So i havent read the news... ah well... let;s check the Newpaper online and see what;s on, shall we?

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/
That's the link... fri... 28th octboer 2005.

ok welcome screen.... OMFG... WTF ARE THOSE?!?!

holy shite.. arent those fugly.... xD

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hmm lets see... electric blog???? wtf? Attention seekers!!

i blame the Government.

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bla bla bla... ah ... headlines.... Family Mistook Dengue For Flu....

Well what do you know.... the guy probably went to a polyclinic.... where all fresh-grad's at... or lousy doctors, if u really wanna follow the stereotype.

okay im bored alreayd witht his tabloid.... let me see which article i should nitpick...

Oh great... another lame headline... She Snaps.. She Kills...

let me guess... must be one about some ass not knwoing how to cool down again.

*reads....... or tries to...*

Maid in murder-suicide case.... wow...that;s sth new.... -.-

yawnz.... what a boring writer.... oh wait... writerS... ... hmm.. makes more sense... (cmon... forum posts are more interesting than that....)

next...

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you know what?

this tabloid sucks. to the core. Not that that's not good in a real blowjob (it is... perfectly timed, of course), but it's very annoying when it's on a printed publishing.

ah well... typical.. these are the news the Newpaper claims to be.

Just to clear a few things... let me see what "tabloid" means...

A newspaper of small format giving the news in condensed form, usually with illustrated, often sensational material.

(Source: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=tabloid )

SEE that???? SENsATIONAL material!! (oh wait.. OFTEN sensional... well... maybe im wrong in my perception)

Does this silly tabloid paper consider maid-murders and suicides and pop-stars having babies as sensational!??! sure hope not... that's so mass-comm-ish.. (welcome to stereotype-land)

It's like asking Slipknot which Muppet character they like....

I think i would rather have the public know about very special talents we have amongst us (in case you lame-oids didnt know, we do have talented people around) or maybe that little speech Mista Bush spoke about eradicating all Native Americans and maybe having each newborn baby the privelege to three nuclear bombs (im not joking.. lol.. there's a complete video on tht speech... though i question its authenticity... it's still news...)

or maybe maybe maybe... hmm... well let's just say that i want more happy, unmaterialistic, unposh and serious headlines gracing this tabloid..... since a lot of people buy it anyway... (the reason why they do is out of my anti-social, proud and irrational thinkings)

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So i stand where i always did with the Newpaper..... rubbish.... utter rubbish.... Straits Times it is...

*even their game reviews are so wrong... and they're reviewing less-than-popular games, in fact...... wtf... Simpsons?!?

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We shall now go to the sports section..

ah yes... the usual.. SOCCER... waht a bore... it's basically turned into a hairy old man's soap opera, just with a lot more money and brainless playrs involved (well.. they way they make things sound like.. it seems like these football players are just mere toys which cant think for themselves and the "Generals" play around with... buying and selling.... Cmon.. we know better than that....)

So it's common you see old men with angry faces or balls flying here adn there on sports sections...

and lots of numbers... dont forget.... another sport losing its virginity to the evils of money, i guess.

so i guess the sports section completes the entire package of the Newpaper as well. Garbage.

I think the tabloid itself will sell if they only had that Horse-racing page...

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So there you have it... more reason for people like me to stop reading newspapers... :)

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Tomorrow i shall read REAL news online.... then i shall tell you how knowing about everything happening in the world is not healthy at all.

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*Newpaper New Face.... Act-cute Haven?
Posted by Audi