EDIT: Added Kuching Trip Day Four. Scroll down. wayy down. oops. too down already. not shiok. up a bit. aaa... ok... previous posts. Well done!

Only got about three hours of sleep last nite. I really need to find an efficient way to blog. Three to five hours is taxing.

“we’re lieaving at 915. Go bathe”

I got up and threw everything I could find into my luggage.

Then dragged myself into bed again. Lmao.

Had a sweet dream as usual. All those funny adventures we’d have with out close friends that kinda stuff.

I heard th emain door clicking. My dad’s back!

“AUDI! HAVE YOU BATHED?!” and I can hear his pants noise comng.

Suddenly I become like the energizer rabbit. Quickly jump to bathroom, and from mad monkey become like thief, quietly closing the door, pulling ht ehandle down and letting it slide easily into the door hole. And a slow controlled turn of the knob.

“AUDI! I TOLD YOU TO BATHE ALREADY RITE?!”

“YA LA IM BATHING!”

Lmao.

This morning in Kuching was wet. Super wet. I think it was one of those flash-flood inducing kinda rain that has a lot of thunder and stuff. The hotel was damn bloody cold. Too bad I didn’t have any jackets.

The rain was so bad that this hotel staff used the beach umbrella to walk around.

Kuching roads arent as good as singapore. Drains are not covered - they are actually huge one-storey deep long kangs. And power lines run across everywhere. So whenever this kind of rain comes, Kuching gets flooded.

I think kuching sad I going. HAHAHA. Its ok..i also sad.

Going back alone again today. Mother left the day before. The driver sent me today while me dad was on the front seat. Liew.. I hate seating at the back.

My dad was hurrying me. Scared I was late for the flight. So there wasn’t any time to look around the newly renovated airport. And wah liew the aircon so damn cold. The whole time my hair erected.

I got the window seat again. My father bid me farewell and off I went.

Then I checked the time.

I had an hour ten minutes before my flight. KNNBCCB!

Even my plane hasn’t touched down yet!

Spent the time in the boarding room looking at ppl. I saw one Sylvester look alike. But a more nerdy kind. Sly is still one and only HAHAHAHA.

And then got this old man look like Mr. Chan keep staring at me. Since Mr. Chan I also dun like so I stare back at him until he buay song sit somewhere else. PwnZ! Think he got big jacket means big ar can stare at ppl! I more big ok! No jacket and the whole time erection come and go, you can tahan anot?!

Finally my plane came. All the water splash here splash there like my fat friend when he jump into the pool.

Pretty soon the groudn crew sarted swarming around the plane like commando wan to rape (or is it “raid”? =p ) the plane. Only without guns la.

They quickly put bricks at the wheels... open up the underside hatches.. one person climb in and disappear, another over there ba long long stand underneath an opening which warm air was blowing through and mini cars came along to collect the baggage.

This picture got hidden meaning. MAS actually quite corrupted. Because it is gahment owned, so this means gahment ppl work there. The MAS boss also get headache because when he wan to fire the big fat ugly sweaty person who never do his work and only know how to walk around criticise ppl, wan to fire also cannot. You know why? Cos he is so and so’s son. Of course, the MAS boss doo lan la. Because of incompetant staff like big fat man, that’s why some companies arent perfomring as well as they should. But its okay... they are still going beyond expectations.

I learn somehting new today while watching the crew.

Airplane can refuel from wing! So this means that now... the plane is more ar risk. Cos last time if hit wing is ok. Plane just drop frm sky. But this plane if the wing kanna hit, we all explode become mutton curry!

Time to board. I found my seat. First thing I sat down, look outside wan to take picture.....

Nae boo they give me the seat above the wing. HOW TO SEE?!?!?!

So this means I cant take picture of bikini girl on Changi beach. Diaoz.

I take revenge wit the airline.

Lmao. I see the safety demo I also wan to try..... (if u still blur, that is a lifejacket.)

But its ok. Today there was a stweardess who was blardy damn pretty! She looks like Shi Xian from North View. Look a bit like bird... a bit like human.... like that. And whooo some more the stewardess uniform hug body wan so I see her figure I like. HAHAHA.... and when she was doing the safety demo, she put her things on the chairs next to me. When she bend down I see her neh neh!! HAHAHAHAHAH ok ok I stop.

The plane take off. Soon, the clouds cover everything and visibility was at 10%.

I scared everytime the plane enters the cloud. Not beause of turbulence. No. I LOVE turbulance... very shiok!

But im scared that sometimes we see things in the clouds that we dun wan to see.

May the power of Christ compel you!

I slept through out the whole journey. Whne I woke up the plane was twenty metres off the ground. No time take picture again.

I landed in Japan!..... ok no wait... its just Singapore girl group acting japanese.

So here I am. In Singapore. Where I live.

Some people like to suan me. They call me go back Malaysia when they buay song. Like as if being malaysian is a bad thing. And some more, I am NOT malaysian! Limpei born in Toa Payoh Hospital Ward 6 ok! Everytime I hear like this ar I damn doo lan. Like fucking big doo lan ok! Sometimes i wan to suan back like.... for example... scold them that at least I have property in malaysia and they dun, so ask them go sit under their block play guitar all day but no. I keep my mouth shut.

Kuching is my home. But Singapore is where I live. This is where my office is. (ofice? Simi office? Lol im a freelancer, remember?) ... this is where my brother brother all stay. My cat all over here. I form my perceptions mostly over here. So of course, I live here.

It’s a sense of relief for me whenever I see all the road signs that you cannot pronounce because they are all abbreviations.

I dunno what the hell SLE and TPE stands for. KNN I noe stand for what and NKF stands for cute little girl girl from primary school or ACBC girl frm secondary school; Never Kanna Fuck.

First thing I come back I sms Henry. Say his camera miss him. Lmao he never reply. Nae boo.

This trip has been fun. The staff in HIK still remember me and that is very happy already cos the past two years I bring my friend back, always make them pek chek with the bill.... the food... the attitude so on and so forth. Very pai seh.

And sometimes I go around and some auntie will shout, “EHH!!! ARE YOU AUDI?!?!?!”

“uh.. yeah..”

“DO YOU REMEMBER ME????”

Then must look.. first I look at breast... then I look at eyes. Why breasts? Sorry la... natural reaction.

“sorry but I dun.”

“I carried you when you were young!! Oh gosh you sure have grown!”

Repeat for the next twenty thousand aunties. Suddenly I feel like I was used for a “Pass the Parcel” game for birthday parties.

Im coming back to Kuching again soon. Since I couldn’t find the time to do anything nature. (So I put on weight. Sianz.). Trying to bring some guys back as well because travel alone quite wasting if you dun have anyone lasting to enjoy it with.

Going to Mulu caves... Santubong... river kayaking....... should be fun. School starts in a month.

Guess its time to return to being that act-beng who slaps Tharik everytime he say something stupid. Back to normal, as they say. Blending into society.

I think I wana eat KFC later. Anyone wan? I treat.