I sat down with Jerome today down at Crystal Jade (he loves me... lol) in Paragon (he really loves me....). The waiter came over and handed us the menu. Then, she walked two paces backwards, then forwards, and chirps,”May I take your order?”
Talk about quick service... geez.
We ate a bit... a few dumplings... sharksfin soup... so on and so forth. Jerome eats like a pig. He has a big mouth, literally and figuritively speaking. Wide lips, a defined nose and rigid sharp cheeks (just like xiang long...). His hair fell infront of his eyes every now and then as he ate and he flicks it back in manner that likens to someone with acute spasms.
“Eh stop flicking your hair lei... like girl like that.” I said.
“shaddap....” he says.
I met jerome a few days ago at Orchard when I was out alone. Was sitting on a bench infront of Taka. He came over and asked me if I had a light. I told him no but he said I looked like a smoker (fuck you la....). There was a bit of a squabble till he looked down at my bag and saw my cam mic sticking out.
“Eh what’s that ar?” he asks.
“My camera...”
“Huh got such thing one meh?”
“Ya lar... I’m a videographer...”
His face expression changed from aggressively inquisitive to “im from ITE; I don’t understand” inquisitive.
“Videographer simi lan?”
So that’s where I got him to sit down and told him what I usually do with my camera. He opened up to me and told me what ive always suspected about him; he’s your typical beng. Whee... another beng friend to add to my collection!
Turns out that our skinny beng friend here is filthy fucking rich. As in... my-dad-drives-a-bmw-and-I-live-in-a-condo rich.
Jerome shared with me this very cool story from the jails of this mighty.... great.... high-tech... nerdy country.
I must admit that my balls shrunk as it got nearer to the end of the story.
Okay so one of his friends just got outta jail and shared with him his certain experience.
His friend... eh... let’s call him... Babu Singh.... ok maybe not... call him Bob la. multi racial everyone can pronounce.
Bob was due out of jail in about 2 weeks. So of course la he’s happy cos in jail very sianz what. Everyday pak jiu cheng and watch tv... (im so gonna die). Bob just had his lunch and went to the toilet to, as Lao Tze would say, “pang jio”. So he do his business, secured the deal, signed contract and received a BMW from the company with incentives and 10 thousand dollar downpayment for the car from his company.
Ok lame la he finish his business then he happy, can?
As he was about to leave, six guys came into the room. Not anyhow enter.... they pushed open the door and let it slam against the wall. These six guys were very mascular and very suai also (the suai part I added in... post production...). They watched bob as he casually keep his little brother (in jail... who cares...just like NS... or Ngee Ann Poly orientation...).
Bob wanted to leave but one of the big guys push him and held him by his collar.
“You wan go where? Leaving soon liao rite?” the big guy asks. His breath smells like shit.
Before bob could answer, the guy pushes bob into a cubicle. Then the guy call his kakis, “now now now!”
Skali the other 5 guys get into the cubicle, four of them hold one of bob’s limbs, so he cannot move. The other guy became na bei pua chee bai and pulled down bob’s pants. For what fuck, you ask? Is to really fuck la then!
Turns out that there is this little tradition in jail whereby in order for one guy to show “:who’s the boss around here”... the big guy will anal the “freshies”. (but that doesn’t necessarily mean the big guy has a big dick.... lol..)
But bob is not ah gua. He has a girlfriend and the girlfriend will never want a man who has an asshole twice the size of her “mouth” (otherwise damn pai sei what... man hole bigger than woman hole...) So of course, bob want to da jia la. Bob struggles and struggles but the other four guys hold him down. But bob is persistent.. he twist and turn, his balls swing here swing there until cannot swing anymore. Frustrated, the big guy (with his pants down), takes a step back and kicks bob in the balls!
Si beh pain ar! And not only that, the other guys start to beat his lan jiao and really beat him up until he become like Jay chou de tofu in initial d; broken in many many pieces.
Bob starts to cry.. his face turns red.. whole body red... he cannot feel anything... like his bones all broken like that. The ah gua bullies scold his mother and then left the toilet.
So happens that a fw other jailmates were already gathered outside the toilet. They know what’s happening. Soon, two of them come and help bob up and go see doctor.
At the doctor... doctor said that bob de ba long long... one of them... has BURST.
BURST! You know what’s burst?! It’s like u take atap chi.... then u sqeeuze until the thing squash and become flat. Like that.
But then the doctor also know that bob is due out of jail very very soon. If he report about his ball problem, bob would have to stay back for three more months. Like that where can? What if some monster monkey come and take bob’s girlfriend away? Then climb up the prudential building with her and the RSAF have to send their f-16 to come tio the monkey? Cannot one.. cos the moneky sure will love hs girlfriend mah cos she damn chio. No no.. cannot... bob doesn’t like the idea of tua lao kang where airbus A380 can make u-turn in... or he can go expedition (LOL).
So no... bob had to live for the next 2 weeks.. in that state.
Bob is now out of jail and has gone to see the doctor. Jerome claims that one of bob’s testicle is black and swollen as well.
Urgh... with stories like this... reminds me of NS (HAHAHAHA no la jk...)... I so not wanna go to jail.
*true story. Dun play play...
Talk about quick service... geez.
We ate a bit... a few dumplings... sharksfin soup... so on and so forth. Jerome eats like a pig. He has a big mouth, literally and figuritively speaking. Wide lips, a defined nose and rigid sharp cheeks (just like xiang long...). His hair fell infront of his eyes every now and then as he ate and he flicks it back in manner that likens to someone with acute spasms.
“Eh stop flicking your hair lei... like girl like that.” I said.
“shaddap....” he says.
I met jerome a few days ago at Orchard when I was out alone. Was sitting on a bench infront of Taka. He came over and asked me if I had a light. I told him no but he said I looked like a smoker (fuck you la....). There was a bit of a squabble till he looked down at my bag and saw my cam mic sticking out.
“Eh what’s that ar?” he asks.
“My camera...”
“Huh got such thing one meh?”
“Ya lar... I’m a videographer...”
His face expression changed from aggressively inquisitive to “im from ITE; I don’t understand” inquisitive.
“Videographer simi lan?”
So that’s where I got him to sit down and told him what I usually do with my camera. He opened up to me and told me what ive always suspected about him; he’s your typical beng. Whee... another beng friend to add to my collection!
Turns out that our skinny beng friend here is filthy fucking rich. As in... my-dad-drives-a-bmw-and-I-live-in-a-condo rich.
Jerome shared with me this very cool story from the jails of this mighty.... great.... high-tech... nerdy country.
I must admit that my balls shrunk as it got nearer to the end of the story.
Okay so one of his friends just got outta jail and shared with him his certain experience.
His friend... eh... let’s call him... Babu Singh.... ok maybe not... call him Bob la. multi racial everyone can pronounce.
Bob was due out of jail in about 2 weeks. So of course la he’s happy cos in jail very sianz what. Everyday pak jiu cheng and watch tv... (im so gonna die). Bob just had his lunch and went to the toilet to, as Lao Tze would say, “pang jio”. So he do his business, secured the deal, signed contract and received a BMW from the company with incentives and 10 thousand dollar downpayment for the car from his company.
Ok lame la he finish his business then he happy, can?
As he was about to leave, six guys came into the room. Not anyhow enter.... they pushed open the door and let it slam against the wall. These six guys were very mascular and very suai also (the suai part I added in... post production...). They watched bob as he casually keep his little brother (in jail... who cares...just like NS... or Ngee Ann Poly orientation...).
Bob wanted to leave but one of the big guys push him and held him by his collar.
“You wan go where? Leaving soon liao rite?” the big guy asks. His breath smells like shit.
Before bob could answer, the guy pushes bob into a cubicle. Then the guy call his kakis, “now now now!”
Skali the other 5 guys get into the cubicle, four of them hold one of bob’s limbs, so he cannot move. The other guy became na bei pua chee bai and pulled down bob’s pants. For what fuck, you ask? Is to really fuck la then!
Turns out that there is this little tradition in jail whereby in order for one guy to show “:who’s the boss around here”... the big guy will anal the “freshies”. (but that doesn’t necessarily mean the big guy has a big dick.... lol..)
But bob is not ah gua. He has a girlfriend and the girlfriend will never want a man who has an asshole twice the size of her “mouth” (otherwise damn pai sei what... man hole bigger than woman hole...) So of course, bob want to da jia la. Bob struggles and struggles but the other four guys hold him down. But bob is persistent.. he twist and turn, his balls swing here swing there until cannot swing anymore. Frustrated, the big guy (with his pants down), takes a step back and kicks bob in the balls!
Si beh pain ar! And not only that, the other guys start to beat his lan jiao and really beat him up until he become like Jay chou de tofu in initial d; broken in many many pieces.
Bob starts to cry.. his face turns red.. whole body red... he cannot feel anything... like his bones all broken like that. The ah gua bullies scold his mother and then left the toilet.
So happens that a fw other jailmates were already gathered outside the toilet. They know what’s happening. Soon, two of them come and help bob up and go see doctor.
At the doctor... doctor said that bob de ba long long... one of them... has BURST.
BURST! You know what’s burst?! It’s like u take atap chi.... then u sqeeuze until the thing squash and become flat. Like that.
But then the doctor also know that bob is due out of jail very very soon. If he report about his ball problem, bob would have to stay back for three more months. Like that where can? What if some monster monkey come and take bob’s girlfriend away? Then climb up the prudential building with her and the RSAF have to send their f-16 to come tio the monkey? Cannot one.. cos the moneky sure will love hs girlfriend mah cos she damn chio. No no.. cannot... bob doesn’t like the idea of tua lao kang where airbus A380 can make u-turn in... or he can go expedition (LOL).
So no... bob had to live for the next 2 weeks.. in that state.
Bob is now out of jail and has gone to see the doctor. Jerome claims that one of bob’s testicle is black and swollen as well.
Urgh... with stories like this... reminds me of NS (HAHAHAHA no la jk...)... I so not wanna go to jail.
*true story. Dun play play...
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Audi
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