I’ve updated the link for the video to the boy with drums along orchard road. Wish I went closer, though. The video was taken from across the road at 20x zoom.
http://www.youtube.com/?v=68N2gjX02SA
I didn’t tell you guys about what happened yesterday after Tianyu and I got back frm orchard so here it is.
(Oh yeah… my sister has been sneaking into my blog. Hello, fat cheeks!)
Once upon a time, a train stopped at Yishun MRT, the one that some silly old goon chose to make a spoof terrorist video. It was raining heavily, and there were a lot of people coming out from the train as well. The smell of sweat and stale detergent filled the air as business people walked with a sense of pride while ah mas in flowy gowns wobbled side to side as they walk, like a crab trying to walk straight. Oh and as usual, the mamas are walking about in nightgowns.
Tianyu and I got off the train, and were talking about crap (did you know that crap stinks?) and halfway down the elevator, everyone around us heard the rabid honking of an automobile.
As per normal, I’d carry on with what im doing and not make effort to find out what the honking was about since every night I have idiots under my block playing guitars and laughing out loud and poseurs on bikes revving at the traffic lights below so I thought this was just another example of a person with low self-esteem trying to act big. (quite a mouthful, aint it?)
But oh no, wait. What’s that? Omg… the group of aunties started pointing and gasping for air (one got an asthma attack and fell off the escalator) at something happening on the road outside of the MRT. So I looked at where they were pointing cos tianyu started telling me how his friends in jc ate crap during recess anyways and that was not something I wanna hear.
A blue van with a huge sticker on its left side, clearly making it distinct from other blue vans, swerved frm the middle lane to the bus stop outside the MRT, blasting its horns. A muscularly fat Indian man on the front passenger seat got out hurriedly and jumped like a tiger during mating season with a blow at some guy’s face, probably Chinese, standing by the bus stop. No wait… maybe he was Indian… skinny… dressed in dark clothing….long hair….yeah... should be Indian.
Then omg…. More action! As the poor guy got punched and kicked and groped, the van cargo door slid open and ahhhh!!!!! Three more guys were inside, and one guy had a tshirt over his face like some ninja on a bong! The fat guy pushed the skinny guy in and they had a massive orgy!
Okay no… the skinny guy got pushed in and the guys inside immediately pummeled him with fists and kicks and sticks. The fat guy got back to his seat, the van sped away and the cargo door closed. The driver never signaled as well. Notti notti…
Aunties started swarming to the side of the MRT the kidnap happened, like a swarm of fish, then something strange happened; they all started tapping their ez-link cards on the wall, trying to get out! Apparently they wanted to see the van’s license plate but surely they knew where the hell the exit is, right? An MRT staff nearby had to lead them to the right way out.
Okay so yea, they were swarming there, they knew where to tap the ez link card but the MRT staff stayed put, leaning against one of the exits, arms akimbo.
So that, my friends, is an example of a kidnap. And we all thought kidnapping don’t happen anymore. Or that we are so safe that no one will go on a drive-by shooting or drive-by kidnapping. Well here it is.
Or maybe another case of “you stole my fucking wife!” amongst the Indian gangster community.
So what were the auntie’s reactions?
“Eh call police bo?”
“dunnit la.. someone must have called already.”
And the teenagers behind us?
“Eh quick! Call police!”
“Siao ar! I got this black plastic bag full of pirated cds and you want me to call? Later they call me for questioning, then how?! Dunnit la... someone must have called already.”
And the mamas?
“Movie shoot, dey! Movie shoot!”
“Dey… where the camera ah dey?”
“dun worry la… someone must have thought about that already la…”
“ah okay la. …..Aiyo.. I think I need to dye my armpit again la. Grey already la, dey.”
And tianyu and I…..starting with me.
“That guy stupid la… couldn’t he get a less distinctive looking van?”
“I wonder what the guy who got kidnapped is going through now…”
“kicked in the balls, punched in the stomach and shat on as well… must be ‘them’…. Always ‘them’….”
“imagine… tomorrow in the news headlines…”
“yarh on tv also. Imagine if we get called up as witnesses.”
“Should we call the police?”
“huh? dunnit la… someone must have called already.”
Now I really wonder if anyone did call….
FACT CHECK: All is real, except the conversations part, and about tianyu talking about edible crap.
http://www.youtube.com/?v=68N2gjX02SA
I didn’t tell you guys about what happened yesterday after Tianyu and I got back frm orchard so here it is.
(Oh yeah… my sister has been sneaking into my blog. Hello, fat cheeks!)
Once upon a time, a train stopped at Yishun MRT, the one that some silly old goon chose to make a spoof terrorist video. It was raining heavily, and there were a lot of people coming out from the train as well. The smell of sweat and stale detergent filled the air as business people walked with a sense of pride while ah mas in flowy gowns wobbled side to side as they walk, like a crab trying to walk straight. Oh and as usual, the mamas are walking about in nightgowns.
Tianyu and I got off the train, and were talking about crap (did you know that crap stinks?) and halfway down the elevator, everyone around us heard the rabid honking of an automobile.
As per normal, I’d carry on with what im doing and not make effort to find out what the honking was about since every night I have idiots under my block playing guitars and laughing out loud and poseurs on bikes revving at the traffic lights below so I thought this was just another example of a person with low self-esteem trying to act big. (quite a mouthful, aint it?)
But oh no, wait. What’s that? Omg… the group of aunties started pointing and gasping for air (one got an asthma attack and fell off the escalator) at something happening on the road outside of the MRT. So I looked at where they were pointing cos tianyu started telling me how his friends in jc ate crap during recess anyways and that was not something I wanna hear.
A blue van with a huge sticker on its left side, clearly making it distinct from other blue vans, swerved frm the middle lane to the bus stop outside the MRT, blasting its horns. A muscularly fat Indian man on the front passenger seat got out hurriedly and jumped like a tiger during mating season with a blow at some guy’s face, probably Chinese, standing by the bus stop. No wait… maybe he was Indian… skinny… dressed in dark clothing….long hair….yeah... should be Indian.
Then omg…. More action! As the poor guy got punched and kicked and groped, the van cargo door slid open and ahhhh!!!!! Three more guys were inside, and one guy had a tshirt over his face like some ninja on a bong! The fat guy pushed the skinny guy in and they had a massive orgy!
Okay no… the skinny guy got pushed in and the guys inside immediately pummeled him with fists and kicks and sticks. The fat guy got back to his seat, the van sped away and the cargo door closed. The driver never signaled as well. Notti notti…
Aunties started swarming to the side of the MRT the kidnap happened, like a swarm of fish, then something strange happened; they all started tapping their ez-link cards on the wall, trying to get out! Apparently they wanted to see the van’s license plate but surely they knew where the hell the exit is, right? An MRT staff nearby had to lead them to the right way out.
Okay so yea, they were swarming there, they knew where to tap the ez link card but the MRT staff stayed put, leaning against one of the exits, arms akimbo.
So that, my friends, is an example of a kidnap. And we all thought kidnapping don’t happen anymore. Or that we are so safe that no one will go on a drive-by shooting or drive-by kidnapping. Well here it is.
Or maybe another case of “you stole my fucking wife!” amongst the Indian gangster community.
So what were the auntie’s reactions?
“Eh call police bo?”
“dunnit la.. someone must have called already.”
And the teenagers behind us?
“Eh quick! Call police!”
“Siao ar! I got this black plastic bag full of pirated cds and you want me to call? Later they call me for questioning, then how?! Dunnit la... someone must have called already.”
And the mamas?
“Movie shoot, dey! Movie shoot!”
“Dey… where the camera ah dey?”
“dun worry la… someone must have thought about that already la…”
“ah okay la. …..Aiyo.. I think I need to dye my armpit again la. Grey already la, dey.”
And tianyu and I…..starting with me.
“That guy stupid la… couldn’t he get a less distinctive looking van?”
“I wonder what the guy who got kidnapped is going through now…”
“kicked in the balls, punched in the stomach and shat on as well… must be ‘them’…. Always ‘them’….”
“imagine… tomorrow in the news headlines…”
“yarh on tv also. Imagine if we get called up as witnesses.”
“Should we call the police?”
“huh? dunnit la… someone must have called already.”
Now I really wonder if anyone did call….
FACT CHECK: All is real, except the conversations part, and about tianyu talking about edible crap.
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