School ended early today; around 1145. i just flopped my Film History presentation by giving a speech on Stalinism and the Russian Idea instead of talkin about Pudovkin, the director, and his works. Wendy Wee is probably shocked at my lousy work that came out since over the weeks i kept askin her for details details details and i DID grab a whole bunch of books to read. Maybe i'm just not suited for talkin to the public. I know nuts on how to use a Powerpoint; I went over to Henry's house last night till the wee hours of the morning to do my work and he helped a lot on how to use Powerpoint. Or maybe i'm not fluent in planning my speeches.

I can just feel the bad vibes from Wendy as she went on to teach the class; it's as if her references to what i said was done out of courtesy and all that "aww cmon dun make him feel bad for that presentation he bombed..." cos i was literally hitting myself on the face as she brought up points that i knew, but skipped.

But it wasnt so bad. I took the bus and train back to Yishun, the whole time sitting on the floor of the train scribbling things i know i couldnt read later but just doing so cos it felt good. A Bangladeshi worker came into the train a few stops before Yishun and everyone started moving away or waking up. I found that hilarous... in a dark sort of way.

i strolled past Burger King and Long John, peering through the glass for a while. I wasnt sure who i was looking for. i jsut wanted to see if anyone i knew was there. And nope.. i didnt see anyone.... till i backtracked a bit and saw two very familiar figures standing at the Burger King counters.

I didnt recognise them at first. They look so young. So short. So clean. But i thought i knew them... but how can i know anyone from North View who's in Sec 2?

And so i walked closer, cooly because you know.... that's the trend.

My gawd... it's my ex-girlfriend!

A little bit of history; she was the best i had out of the five.. and the last. It was amazing.... we got together after this short fling during Speech Day 2004, after i was looking for Hui Shi (and she disappeared....forever). She saw me and we started to make eye contact. Fate had it; i was her NCC senior... and a very naughty one, in fact. We got it on... during training i gave a bit more attention on her... meaning i teased her in public more often. Well those were the times. Happy times. .... No... happy/sad times because we were happy and thought we were well off as Staff sergeants only to realise we were puppets by our so-called "parents" after ORD. Anyways so we got together... and i dont know how it happened, but i told her that i dont want to meet that regularly. So she got pissed... in a subtle way. She was shy... REALLY shy. Add that to the fact she was three years younger... and the teachers crapped in their pants when they found out of my little cradle-snatching adventure. I knew she was pissed, so for some reason, i started sending her a 5-page sms that started with, "Once upon time... there was a boy and a girl..." and pretty soon that was how we talked to each other every night adressing problems and relating experiences. My handphone bill maxed to three hundred bucks and mother was definitely unhappy. For her, my phone bill rising up is equal to me having a girlfriend. So i got blasted. As with me and my girl.... we didnt really got through that shy-stage. Everytime we called each other there was this dead silence. On my side, i felt that no that wasnt her. Even though it was her voice. So sms-ing stuck. And for all the idiotic reason in the world... she had the same horoscope as my sister... which somehow made me think i was going on with my sister so it really, really, gave me a lot of mental discomfort. Four months into the relationship (that was my longest), i ended it all. She was still young and, plus, my interests and future plans would most definitely not tie in with her.... or anyone else. As we have come to realise today.

We met up again two months later; she gave me a birthday present. I now have it in my treasure chest, locked up, in the original box. it was a necklace... or a wristband. I have no idea. I never used it to find out.

After that we pretty much lost each other... though in MSN she comes online sometimes.

But today I saw her. And i advanced. I was curious.. how is she? Has she grown? is she still immature? Did she grow plump? Whenever we were in our regulary 811 bus rides around Yishun, I used to keep poking her and telling her legs were a bit huge. Obviously, i got a bucket of slaps. All the time.

"Hi Sir welcome to Burger King!" said the man behind the counter.

I put on my "in-deep thought" face; low-eyebrows, down-turned frozen lips, tongue pushed up the roof of the mouth and an eye that looks through other people. And also started doing the complementing body actions. I stood beside her. She was with her friend and they were waiting for their order. I held my now-famous G2 pen in my hand and started clicking it.. as if i'm thinking.

"Yeah can i have a Mushroom Swiss Double, please"

From the corner of my eye i saw her turn. She did see me. She quickly turned back at her friend and they started talkin with frozen jaws at a really really really low voice level.

"Mushroom Swiss? This one?" came the guy behind the cashier, a newbie.

"Yes.. this one.. there are no other mushrooms around."

My my... my "girl" has grown. She didnt grow fat as i expected her to. She's slim, but not those ridiculously slim type. I dont know if she grew shorter or i became i man cos she suddenly got one head shorter than me rather than just a mere 5cm. I never heard her voice though. But i bet she heard mine because i gve that "booming low voice" thing i learnt after Henry and I had a "voice talent competition" a few months ago.

Maybe i should say hi to her. Maybe to catch up on stuff. You know... stuff like that.

Or maybe im having this subconcious goal that runs on the dark side of life.

The guy behind the cashier and his more experienced friend started fiddling and arguing over the register on which buttons to press.

"it's six thirty." and i threw them a ten dollar note.

She turned around a bit again, and turned back. I was laughing in my heart. She always was so... shy. So i took up my head and turned to her direction, but not straight at her.. just at the fries-making thingy, just enough to let her see it's me. And i stood like that for eternity. Their drinks came. The money was exchanged. Their cashier said to wait for their burgers. And all the time she never turned back, still talkin through that frozen jaw.

"Here you are, sir."

I turned back.

"Chilli or ketchup?"

"Nah... it's ok."

The cashier stared at me... and went,"You mean you dont want?"

"Yeah i dont."

"Okay then everything is okay already." and he pushed the plastic bag at me. It wasnt even properly packed.
i took one last look at her tray.

I turned back and grabbed my order, finally giving my first smile to the cashier,"Thanks..."

and i left the place.

I took one last look at her legs. Yeah... they didnt grow wide. I felt this sense of relief and it stayed on til i got home.

Only then i realised i didnt bring me house key and no one was home so i had to stay under Donald's block where i eventually slept till six. What's worse; they gave me a Turkey Double Bacon!

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P.S. The Da Vinci Code is out. Honestly i'm having some doubts about this film living up to the hype. It's just me; i dont get how a novel as huge as the Da Vinci Code (i tried reading it but fell into a comma) can be turned into a movie two hours long. Might be interesting to watch. The cinematography and visual texture was beautiful in the trailer. And lastly, I dont get all the religious hoo-ha over the movie. We all do know Da Vinci Code is a work of FICTION right? But then again... Tharik seems to be one of those people who believes the story is real in some aspects.....