CONFIRM!
Five days left before I start qeueing up for Singapore Idol! Btw hor... is that how you spell q-ing? Correct ar?.... sui bian la...
Ok let me reveal the two song I will sing; Robbie William’s Better Man and... and.. andddd~~!!!!!!! Drum roll hor thank you!........ There With You by SYLVESTER SIM XIANG LONG/ SHEN XIANG LONG ~!!!!!
Later I going to scape where got the singapore idol promotion to take video. This time I die die must get autograph frm Sly for Sheryl (cos she cannot make it... zzzz why!!! i need girl company u noe....) and take picture with Stacie. Hope she there la. We promise to see each other again. Awwww cute hor?
Ok la my sister is probably anticipating my post in regards to her recent play at Victoria Concert Hall just now (and she lead actress... 0.0... lan jiao understand! She overtake me!) but sorry hor jie jie.... u have to wait for one more day because I want to write long long about your play because I really doo lan with it. Dun say I what what what first.. remember hor your brother here is media student hor his course is ask him write story and all these wan. I tell you hor your brother damn doo lan with your play’s story.
Anyways I today think very far ahead because I had to walk around clarke quay and boat quay and raffle place with my parents.... its damn boring ok I was having headache and my father very sarcastic wan sometimes. He will say things like, “Boat Quay... you see all these usesd to be river banks and ppl come here to trade. They do barter trading. Everybody was very hardworking last time. (look at me) They didn’t have a car to go to school... they cannot get on airplanes... they cant afford to be late.... they cant have handphones... cannot have own room and own aircon and had to work to feed the family. Some people dunno how lucky they are now.” ... .... wah Pa you very what hor. You think I not grateful ar? You know how much money I give the tissue uncle at the yishun underpass?! Now I have one whole stack of tissue paper that cost one dollar each in my room and I dun even use tissue paper!
(btw.. if u all pass by the tissue uncle or tissue auntie at the Yishun MRT underpass.... they will always have this big red plastic bag full of tissue packets.... pls hor... buy frm them. Otherwise I call karanguni come catch you.)
Anyway I think far ahead.. if I get into singapore idol.... then get to high high spot in competition... then lime magazine will come ask me question. Waaa I already planning what to answer liao.
Lime: hello *BroK3n*....
Me: ni hao.... eh... pai seh.... your welcome.
Lime: You are probably the youngest competitor in Singapore Idol history!
Me: really ar? Got enter guinness world of beer?
Lime: uh.. ok... we would like you to answer some questions.
Me: ok... shit.
Lime: sorry?
Me: huh simi? Oooo... I mean....”shoot”.
Lime: Are you circumcised?
Me: (stares)
Lime: ... oh.. sorry.. just a little joke there. Hur hur hur. (interviewee flips hair and crawls her eyes down at my crotch)
Me: you lucky you pretty....... otherwise I slap your face till you look like ah meng!
Lime: why, thanks. On to the questions. What made you join Singapore Idol?
Me: Well hor.... actually I dun like all thes idol idol thing. I find it lame lei. Because its like... after two years you just die off. Some even worse... before season over you die already. You remember got that time this indian man say he can sing sing sing then that time during top 30 he sing and sound like kanna fuck from the ear? Remember anot?
Lime: I might.. but could you pls answer the question?
Me: (rolls eye and wiggles shoulder).... ya la ya la... so pushy... anyways so I was on my computer surfing porn then skali my mother knock on my room door so I quickly open a window and log onto ur website lor. Then I quickly quickly scribble scribble as if I doing work. Then like that la.
Lime: interesting. Could you explain why under the “Who’s your idol?” question, you entered, “Sylvester Sim” ?
Me: He ask me put wan....
Lime: (laughs.) .... seriously. Come on.
Me: (stares.)
Lime: Moving on. The malay community are appalled that you cannot speak their language fluently or in the correct accent. Please comment.
Me: Eh... you go tell them ar... go relac one corner la hor. If every one is the same, nothing will progress. .... (pauses...) ..... eh.. I think I found their social problem already HAHAHAH..... all wan to be same same that;s why nv progress.
Lime: (deadpan.) okay... we have seen your closest group of friends who you have known since secondary school. We always see them with you on tv or whenever you are moving about in a crowded place. The thing here is; they all have girlfriends. Shouldn’t you be having a girlfriend too? Isnt there a peer pressure of somesort going on everytime you hang out with your friends?
Me: Huh? Is they go out with me wan meh? I thought is the other way round but who cares hor. (chuckles) Ya I know they all have girlfriend. All very pretty and chio also. Some have been together for three years.. others two... some only a few hours. I see sometimes I also jealous. Because how can the girls touch my friends HAR?! You know hor that day one of my friend... I and him go kbox.... then in his room I see his girlfriend sitting beside him... so close some more! I cb damn doo lan understand anot!
Lime: ..... are you..... like... gay?
Me: WHAT?! Lan jiao understand! .... (fusses about.... throws a middle finger at the interviewee)
Lime: (silence.)
Me: ....bisexual only la..
Lime: oh I see.... anywa.....
Me: huh you believe ar? HAHAHAHA
Lime: ......
Me: actually I looking for girlfriend but all I see is either taken or only wan to fuck. I dun like fucking all the time. Sometimes must kiss and hold hand la but where can fuck all the time hor. Some even ask me go fuck in Chinatown Square you know! In the public toilet... at 3 am in the morning.... Girl’s toilet somemore! You know why girl toilet? Becaue is 3 am what.... no girl will come in at 3 am! So is very quiet... we got whole toilet to use for ourselve.
Lime: wow... you are kinda open arent you?
Me: my fly is open? ....... (feels crotch) ..... where got sia....
Lime: (interviewee looks at crotch.... she begins to lick her lips...)
Me: (looks attentively...)
Lime: (starts to have short breathes..... she begins to fidget...)
Me: ...... you see la! you all bloody same wan! I touch my lan jiao all come start to lick lips la... suck finger la.... diao you know anot!
Lime: (throws book and pen away) ... OH but I WANT YOU!
(she begins to climb on me.... she bends her body.. like a tigress... ooo sexy.... she growls... and purs...)
Me: ... ooo wah... your cb damn horny...
Lime: sorry la.... I shave yesterday only....
(she begins to take my hand... and begins kissing it..... and licks...)
Me: ... eh... uh....
Lime: hush..... (and opens her mouth.... lustfully...
Me: uh you not gonna suck rite?
(she smirks and gives a slow nod.... slowly... she sucks my little finger.... then ring... then middle....)
Me: eh... dun.... dun do that.....
Lime: (she heaves....and looks up) .... you like that?
Me: I like la but....
(she hushes me up..... and begins to suckle on my index finger.... very tickly... )
Me: eh I have to tell you something lei...
Lime: ....ooooh.... (suckle suckle...).... what is it?
Me: I just now go toilet never wash hand.....
Okay all of you go sleep! siam!
Five days left before I start qeueing up for Singapore Idol! Btw hor... is that how you spell q-ing? Correct ar?.... sui bian la...
Ok let me reveal the two song I will sing; Robbie William’s Better Man and... and.. andddd~~!!!!!!! Drum roll hor thank you!........ There With You by SYLVESTER SIM XIANG LONG/ SHEN XIANG LONG ~!!!!!
Later I going to scape where got the singapore idol promotion to take video. This time I die die must get autograph frm Sly for Sheryl (cos she cannot make it... zzzz why!!! i need girl company u noe....) and take picture with Stacie. Hope she there la. We promise to see each other again. Awwww cute hor?
Ok la my sister is probably anticipating my post in regards to her recent play at Victoria Concert Hall just now (and she lead actress... 0.0... lan jiao understand! She overtake me!) but sorry hor jie jie.... u have to wait for one more day because I want to write long long about your play because I really doo lan with it. Dun say I what what what first.. remember hor your brother here is media student hor his course is ask him write story and all these wan. I tell you hor your brother damn doo lan with your play’s story.
Anyways I today think very far ahead because I had to walk around clarke quay and boat quay and raffle place with my parents.... its damn boring ok I was having headache and my father very sarcastic wan sometimes. He will say things like, “Boat Quay... you see all these usesd to be river banks and ppl come here to trade. They do barter trading. Everybody was very hardworking last time. (look at me) They didn’t have a car to go to school... they cannot get on airplanes... they cant afford to be late.... they cant have handphones... cannot have own room and own aircon and had to work to feed the family. Some people dunno how lucky they are now.” ... .... wah Pa you very what hor. You think I not grateful ar? You know how much money I give the tissue uncle at the yishun underpass?! Now I have one whole stack of tissue paper that cost one dollar each in my room and I dun even use tissue paper!
(btw.. if u all pass by the tissue uncle or tissue auntie at the Yishun MRT underpass.... they will always have this big red plastic bag full of tissue packets.... pls hor... buy frm them. Otherwise I call karanguni come catch you.)
Anyway I think far ahead.. if I get into singapore idol.... then get to high high spot in competition... then lime magazine will come ask me question. Waaa I already planning what to answer liao.
Lime: hello *BroK3n*....
Me: ni hao.... eh... pai seh.... your welcome.
Lime: You are probably the youngest competitor in Singapore Idol history!
Me: really ar? Got enter guinness world of beer?
Lime: uh.. ok... we would like you to answer some questions.
Me: ok... shit.
Lime: sorry?
Me: huh simi? Oooo... I mean....”shoot”.
Lime: Are you circumcised?
Me: (stares)
Lime: ... oh.. sorry.. just a little joke there. Hur hur hur. (interviewee flips hair and crawls her eyes down at my crotch)
Me: you lucky you pretty....... otherwise I slap your face till you look like ah meng!
Lime: why, thanks. On to the questions. What made you join Singapore Idol?
Me: Well hor.... actually I dun like all thes idol idol thing. I find it lame lei. Because its like... after two years you just die off. Some even worse... before season over you die already. You remember got that time this indian man say he can sing sing sing then that time during top 30 he sing and sound like kanna fuck from the ear? Remember anot?
Lime: I might.. but could you pls answer the question?
Me: (rolls eye and wiggles shoulder).... ya la ya la... so pushy... anyways so I was on my computer surfing porn then skali my mother knock on my room door so I quickly open a window and log onto ur website lor. Then I quickly quickly scribble scribble as if I doing work. Then like that la.
Lime: interesting. Could you explain why under the “Who’s your idol?” question, you entered, “Sylvester Sim” ?
Me: He ask me put wan....
Lime: (laughs.) .... seriously. Come on.
Me: (stares.)
Lime: Moving on. The malay community are appalled that you cannot speak their language fluently or in the correct accent. Please comment.
Me: Eh... you go tell them ar... go relac one corner la hor. If every one is the same, nothing will progress. .... (pauses...) ..... eh.. I think I found their social problem already HAHAHAH..... all wan to be same same that;s why nv progress.
Lime: (deadpan.) okay... we have seen your closest group of friends who you have known since secondary school. We always see them with you on tv or whenever you are moving about in a crowded place. The thing here is; they all have girlfriends. Shouldn’t you be having a girlfriend too? Isnt there a peer pressure of somesort going on everytime you hang out with your friends?
Me: Huh? Is they go out with me wan meh? I thought is the other way round but who cares hor. (chuckles) Ya I know they all have girlfriend. All very pretty and chio also. Some have been together for three years.. others two... some only a few hours. I see sometimes I also jealous. Because how can the girls touch my friends HAR?! You know hor that day one of my friend... I and him go kbox.... then in his room I see his girlfriend sitting beside him... so close some more! I cb damn doo lan understand anot!
Lime: ..... are you..... like... gay?
Me: WHAT?! Lan jiao understand! .... (fusses about.... throws a middle finger at the interviewee)
Lime: (silence.)
Me: ....bisexual only la..
Lime: oh I see.... anywa.....
Me: huh you believe ar? HAHAHAHA
Lime: ......
Me: actually I looking for girlfriend but all I see is either taken or only wan to fuck. I dun like fucking all the time. Sometimes must kiss and hold hand la but where can fuck all the time hor. Some even ask me go fuck in Chinatown Square you know! In the public toilet... at 3 am in the morning.... Girl’s toilet somemore! You know why girl toilet? Becaue is 3 am what.... no girl will come in at 3 am! So is very quiet... we got whole toilet to use for ourselve.
Lime: wow... you are kinda open arent you?
Me: my fly is open? ....... (feels crotch) ..... where got sia....
Lime: (interviewee looks at crotch.... she begins to lick her lips...)
Me: (looks attentively...)
Lime: (starts to have short breathes..... she begins to fidget...)
Me: ...... you see la! you all bloody same wan! I touch my lan jiao all come start to lick lips la... suck finger la.... diao you know anot!
Lime: (throws book and pen away) ... OH but I WANT YOU!
(she begins to climb on me.... she bends her body.. like a tigress... ooo sexy.... she growls... and purs...)
Me: ... ooo wah... your cb damn horny...
Lime: sorry la.... I shave yesterday only....
(she begins to take my hand... and begins kissing it..... and licks...)
Me: ... eh... uh....
Lime: hush..... (and opens her mouth.... lustfully...
Me: uh you not gonna suck rite?
(she smirks and gives a slow nod.... slowly... she sucks my little finger.... then ring... then middle....)
Me: eh... dun.... dun do that.....
Lime: (she heaves....and looks up) .... you like that?
Me: I like la but....
(she hushes me up..... and begins to suckle on my index finger.... very tickly... )
Me: eh I have to tell you something lei...
Lime: ....ooooh.... (suckle suckle...).... what is it?
Me: I just now go toilet never wash hand.....
Okay all of you go sleep! siam!
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Audi
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