War and romance.
the other day, some people from my crew questioned why i was so intrigued by romance and war. I mean... it SHOWS in my scripts... They want a mystery story i came out with a cheesy romance. :(
i wont be bragging about how war and romance is so and so.
I just like it.
It wasnt so prominent back when i was in North View... i mean... i never had anyone come up to me and say,"Audi you look gay."
-.- ok maybe there was..
"Audi, you look romantic..." maybe that never happened.
well at least till this afternoon... we were doing an audio recording and my group used my voice (anti social bastards arent we...) ... then michelle suddenly takes the mike away from Charlene in the control room and says,"oh my gott (she has braces.. remember tht... speech impaired... =p ), Audi...~~!!! ... Can i sleep with your vooooiiiiiicceee???"
whoo hoo.. now i noe i'm going somehwere to being romantic... rawk on~~~!!
haha...
hmm......
anyways yeah i know i AM a bit different from many people, mentally. :) Old wars, for me, is perhaps the most romantic thing a man can do. I mean.. look at wht's involved (exclude modern wars. I think modern wars are just downright sissy-like... wht with all those sneaky machines and stuff).. we have, patriotism, camaraderie, fighting for someone, an idea or anything and also the emotions involved.
bla whtever.. u get wht i mean...
I think its in me to really get involved with wht i am doing. I always find myself getting lost in the stories formed in my head. When i make my models, I always think of a story cos u noe after all... modelling is a freaking long process you musnt get the flow stopping suddenly. Try smelling thinner for DAYS. (yeah ok maybe tts why i turned out like this... nuts.).
Then as the story develops, i.e. This German infantry is hiding from a web of American gunfire behind a tank, his best friend is dead, his home has been destroyed, his girlfriend got taken away, all he hears is blasting gunfire, clanging ricochets off the tank armour, the rumbling of the tnak's engine and the gears and tracks squeaking as it slowly rolls forward. Then's he's on the floor, boots encrusted in mud, his faded uniform is coated with a thinck layer of dust and his helmet is coming loose... but he's clinging on to his K98 rifle, because that's all he has left.
See how it goes?
the story develops and it starts becoming sth like a friend to me. That is MY friend, MY story. It indeed, for me, becomes very personal. Likewise for my videos and thoughts.
btw.... i do have a lot of intra-personal communication... its weird but its fun!
and i have no idea how all these came about. I've never seriously seen a war movie till Black Hawk Down (In 5.1 surround sound!! whoo!!!).
I dunno... but then... friendship.. camaraderie... comradeship... bla bla.. has been part of my principle since young. Yeah man i do get terribly upset even in KINDERGARDEN when my friend doesnt speak to me during break time! it's like.. WTF...?!?!?
ok o let's see why.. hmm.. ive never had a brother... i am not close to my sister... my relatives were all in Singapore, i am nowhere close to them..... my dad wasnt around most of the time (like i said many times before.... he leaves for work before i wake up and comes home when i'm asleep)... and the only way to go to my friend's place is by car.... and my driver wasnt there specifically for me. He has a job to do, you know. So yeah... my childhood went phhiiiieeeewwww...... down the drain.
I came to Singapore feeling so NAIVE.
I didnt even noe wht "stead" meant! I didnt even noe "wah lau" was seriously used!
Ah anyways... in primary school.. yeah well... i was in a bad group... so called... heh heh.. my results flunked... as usual... but this grp kept sticking together and stuff... i thnk we were pretty close... wow man.. i look back and am amazed at how strong i was (look at me now! i cant stand for 20 freaking minutes without fainting!).... wrestling people.. grabbing their balls... throwing it away.... slamming tht eunuch on the floor with a bodyslam... lolz.. breaking windows.... buying TUBES of glue and then DROWNING a nest of black ants with it.... LOLZ!!! i rmemeber... then the next day after everything has dried.. we'd get a ball of black ants.. LOLZ!!!
in any case.... i think... after cheryl left.... things started to come down upon me and yes yes i went through a state of "WTF WTF WTF" (but no i NEVER thought of killing myself... okay so maybe i tried eating a whole packet of pink panadols but that didnt work.. it tasted bad!).... hmm yeah and tts wht i became.... weak. LOLZ!!!! no la... i jsut changed... like u noe... boy to man.? LOLZ!!! HAHAHA!!! idiot...
Then before i left for Singapore, i had a litle squabble with one of my close friends (my fault again..) and poof! i was gone. He kept calling and calling and emailing (sounds familiar doesnt it) but yeah whtever i didnt reply. (sounds so freaking familiar. Deja vu...) It was only last year that he and i started talking again.. after a little bit of fighting....
war and romance.. ahh yes... (ok let's skip Bedok view kz? nth happened there.) Then came sec school.... i found my dad's camera (Sony DCR-PC5E)... and i brought it to school one day. Sure sure everybody was like "heyyy camera!!!" and some of us started bringing too and recording the class...But for them it was a fad maybe... because soon, the others put their camera down but i continued rolling the tape at every possible moment. Everybody gt used to me with the camera. I continued recording and recording over the years of the guys in sec school till now.. i have about... 50+ hours of tape on them! i was telling Charlene abt it today and she asked,"Why not you compile them and make it into a structured short video?"
What, you crazy!?!?! 50 freaking hrs!
and then the guys also gave me a break into video-making. I wrote out a script.. they were very helpful to act it out... then i had more actors coming in.... and i completed my first structured video. This video was the Battle Scene video i passed on to the interviewer during the FSV interview. That was all i had, really. Thanks to them.
Anyways yeah i did compile some tapes a few times here and there and showed the rest. All they did was ask for more.
-.-
But its nice, you know.... grab a few of your old friends and watch each other grow up over the years.
"OMG you had such a stupid hairstyle!!"
"Hey you too!!"
"well that was last time..."
"No, i meant currently..."
*fight fight...*
But then again... why did i record all these? Many times, when i am recording, a person would turn to the camera... then back to the group and say,"He siao la... recording again."
Donald just felt sth hit him in the gut. LOLZ...
My mentality is to preserve wht we have done. I mean... it's something.. HISTORY!! It's something! i still have toys that i sucked on (TOYS DAMMIT!!! TOYS!!!) when i was a baby. They're tucked nicely in my room in Malaysia. i still have that painting i did on the wall ( even after much disapproval by mother goose....) when i was a young hairless kid.
Thus my thirst to preserve eveything on video.
but how does this relate to my interest in war and romance?
On the video.. you can see that WE GROWED TOGETHER.
FRIENDSHIP!
what if one day, something happens... you HAVE that footage of ur friend! MEMORIES!
then that leads to the guy hiding behind the tank.
If only he had something besides memeories tht directly relates to his loved one (okay that word, loved one, is cliched already....) or even better; get someone to video him hiding behind the tank... and if he lives.. he can show the clip to his grandchildren and say... stuff.... and if he dies in the end.... well...it could spark some great ideas or sth to a viewer.
and romance...
Remember the old wars? Civil wars maybe. People would fight on common ground. Form up in huge formations then take turns firing at each other. Then, both would charge to each other and fight till the death, literally?
Those men were freaking brave. And to me, those battles are romantic.
Told you i was weird.
Thei rifles were DECORATED and had ORNAMENTS. They had designs! They used beautiful grained wood for the rifle. Their canons were also decorated. Their uniforms were stunning! And they werent sissies. They didnt fight with guns that can shoot around corners.. didnt have accurate artillery and stuff. They shot ball bearings btw.... and lolz.... when they shoot, even at a hundred meters, the wind could blow their ball bearing off course. =p
They went to war, with not many things on their side.
Close quarters really do things to people. Rather than making mathematical calculations, aiming the gun, firing, and getting a feedback on radio abt the accuracy of ur artillery shot. It's different to face ur oponent then getting him from afar.
"Hey man how's ur day?"
"Oh i got 50 Japs in one arty (artillery) shot a few minutes ago."
"oh that's nice..."
*A guy crashes into the room, crusing and yelling, and shooting his rifle aimlessly. Finally he points the gun into his mouth and pulls the trigger.*
"What happened to him?"
"He shot a Jap at point-blank. Then he just lost it."
It's romantic if u think about it.... structured battles i mean.
that's why i find wars after 1945 very dull and technical.
I saw German rocket planes built in 1945-6 and it just lost its romance of Germans fighting courageously for Grossdeutschland.
Now wht about guy-girl/ guy-guy / girl-girl relationship?
aha.. "real" romance.
Personally i have no objections to homosexual relationships. Its just like two good friends who like each other a lot. oh well.
But if my children turn out to be homos.. i will be SOOO bloody pissed.....
"You wanna be like your cousin or what?!"
When i came to Singapore... i formed this mentality..."Singaporean girls love to be pampered, smooched and touched."
I'm like... wtf? in pri sch ppl went for big dicks and gentlemanliness.
But yeah i have a different view on the SG girls now. Some act cute... some complain... some are matured enough to know..... yeah... we're all the same...
but i really cant stand it when guys start to do almost EVERYTHING for the girl.
it just sucks.
Give money, give clothes, give hugs and kisses EVERY SINGLE TIME..... BOORING!!!
where the hell's the TEASING!!!
The girl wants money. The guy doenst have it. The girl says,"oh it's ok.... when u have enuf money u can buy it for me! *smile smile*"
Guy goes,"Uh... okay.. anything for you, dear."
wht the toot, man....
oh i LOVE teasing.
btw.. teasing and flirting, is DIFFERENT.
Crush and love, are also TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!
i keep getting news that this person likes this person "long time already" (wow! one month, is long?!?!?!) ... and they call it love. -.-
Crush, people.. Crushes....
anyways yeah.. teasing...
showing ur butt... swaying it (whooo!!!)... playing with their hair.. RESISTING to wht they want (but do it in the end after some teasing). DOING things that they DO NOT expect you to (in a proper manner though. You dont just go up to a girl and pull her skirt off..... RIP!! "haha i'm teasing you!")
but then again... relationships and stuff... there arent really any clear guidelines to wht u should do. It's a feeling thing. But i read somewhere that feelings and fake feeiling could come together as one and u may think its just one feeling.
uh ok.. yeah.. romance...
hmm... i love subtlety... doing little things..... then the girl finds out only after a period of time.
I used to plan dinners, a night out somewhere.. stuff like that.. really really planned... time and place and stuff... for my girlfriend... but then... a lot nv worked out. Either because they just straight out DONT WANT TO.... or they think that place is lame.
Cmon... Singapore's not just Bugis, orchard, J8.... we have Kranji, Jurong, Holland village, Changi, sembawang, mari-nabei, and eunos... a lot of places. But then for some people... no aircon, no shopping, must walk... they decline your invitation and walk away.
They still WALK away in the end so WTF?!?!
But then there was Wei Shan.. oh... wei shan... ( no shaun.. not talking abt u...)..... she agreed to me once... and i brought her out to some special place. and when i brought her to the place.... she may have had the most romantic and pleasant night ever. Everything started going smoothly that night... we had our own time together... it was PERFECT. She started talking.... fooling around... Things... *wink wink*...=p
then i had to dump her a few weeks later. -.-
and she clung on for a few weeks more... before finally O levels came and we went separate ways.
and i have never never never never bought her gifts (but she got me a neckie for my bday this year.) or kissed or hugged and i barely said," i love you" at all!!
It all showed in the subtlety... ... well i tried.
I wrote her stories.
Lots of them.
and she loved it.
.......
my stories.....
War and Romance.
They just go together perfectly.
the other day, some people from my crew questioned why i was so intrigued by romance and war. I mean... it SHOWS in my scripts... They want a mystery story i came out with a cheesy romance. :(
i wont be bragging about how war and romance is so and so.
I just like it.
It wasnt so prominent back when i was in North View... i mean... i never had anyone come up to me and say,"Audi you look gay."
-.- ok maybe there was..
"Audi, you look romantic..." maybe that never happened.
well at least till this afternoon... we were doing an audio recording and my group used my voice (anti social bastards arent we...) ... then michelle suddenly takes the mike away from Charlene in the control room and says,"oh my gott (she has braces.. remember tht... speech impaired... =p ), Audi...~~!!! ... Can i sleep with your vooooiiiiiicceee???"
whoo hoo.. now i noe i'm going somehwere to being romantic... rawk on~~~!!
haha...
hmm......
anyways yeah i know i AM a bit different from many people, mentally. :) Old wars, for me, is perhaps the most romantic thing a man can do. I mean.. look at wht's involved (exclude modern wars. I think modern wars are just downright sissy-like... wht with all those sneaky machines and stuff).. we have, patriotism, camaraderie, fighting for someone, an idea or anything and also the emotions involved.
bla whtever.. u get wht i mean...
I think its in me to really get involved with wht i am doing. I always find myself getting lost in the stories formed in my head. When i make my models, I always think of a story cos u noe after all... modelling is a freaking long process you musnt get the flow stopping suddenly. Try smelling thinner for DAYS. (yeah ok maybe tts why i turned out like this... nuts.).
Then as the story develops, i.e. This German infantry is hiding from a web of American gunfire behind a tank, his best friend is dead, his home has been destroyed, his girlfriend got taken away, all he hears is blasting gunfire, clanging ricochets off the tank armour, the rumbling of the tnak's engine and the gears and tracks squeaking as it slowly rolls forward. Then's he's on the floor, boots encrusted in mud, his faded uniform is coated with a thinck layer of dust and his helmet is coming loose... but he's clinging on to his K98 rifle, because that's all he has left.
See how it goes?
the story develops and it starts becoming sth like a friend to me. That is MY friend, MY story. It indeed, for me, becomes very personal. Likewise for my videos and thoughts.
btw.... i do have a lot of intra-personal communication... its weird but its fun!
and i have no idea how all these came about. I've never seriously seen a war movie till Black Hawk Down (In 5.1 surround sound!! whoo!!!).
I dunno... but then... friendship.. camaraderie... comradeship... bla bla.. has been part of my principle since young. Yeah man i do get terribly upset even in KINDERGARDEN when my friend doesnt speak to me during break time! it's like.. WTF...?!?!?
ok o let's see why.. hmm.. ive never had a brother... i am not close to my sister... my relatives were all in Singapore, i am nowhere close to them..... my dad wasnt around most of the time (like i said many times before.... he leaves for work before i wake up and comes home when i'm asleep)... and the only way to go to my friend's place is by car.... and my driver wasnt there specifically for me. He has a job to do, you know. So yeah... my childhood went phhiiiieeeewwww...... down the drain.
I came to Singapore feeling so NAIVE.
I didnt even noe wht "stead" meant! I didnt even noe "wah lau" was seriously used!
Ah anyways... in primary school.. yeah well... i was in a bad group... so called... heh heh.. my results flunked... as usual... but this grp kept sticking together and stuff... i thnk we were pretty close... wow man.. i look back and am amazed at how strong i was (look at me now! i cant stand for 20 freaking minutes without fainting!).... wrestling people.. grabbing their balls... throwing it away.... slamming tht eunuch on the floor with a bodyslam... lolz.. breaking windows.... buying TUBES of glue and then DROWNING a nest of black ants with it.... LOLZ!!! i rmemeber... then the next day after everything has dried.. we'd get a ball of black ants.. LOLZ!!!
in any case.... i think... after cheryl left.... things started to come down upon me and yes yes i went through a state of "WTF WTF WTF" (but no i NEVER thought of killing myself... okay so maybe i tried eating a whole packet of pink panadols but that didnt work.. it tasted bad!).... hmm yeah and tts wht i became.... weak. LOLZ!!!! no la... i jsut changed... like u noe... boy to man.? LOLZ!!! HAHAHA!!! idiot...
Then before i left for Singapore, i had a litle squabble with one of my close friends (my fault again..) and poof! i was gone. He kept calling and calling and emailing (sounds familiar doesnt it) but yeah whtever i didnt reply. (sounds so freaking familiar. Deja vu...) It was only last year that he and i started talking again.. after a little bit of fighting....
war and romance.. ahh yes... (ok let's skip Bedok view kz? nth happened there.) Then came sec school.... i found my dad's camera (Sony DCR-PC5E)... and i brought it to school one day. Sure sure everybody was like "heyyy camera!!!" and some of us started bringing too and recording the class...But for them it was a fad maybe... because soon, the others put their camera down but i continued rolling the tape at every possible moment. Everybody gt used to me with the camera. I continued recording and recording over the years of the guys in sec school till now.. i have about... 50+ hours of tape on them! i was telling Charlene abt it today and she asked,"Why not you compile them and make it into a structured short video?"
What, you crazy!?!?! 50 freaking hrs!
and then the guys also gave me a break into video-making. I wrote out a script.. they were very helpful to act it out... then i had more actors coming in.... and i completed my first structured video. This video was the Battle Scene video i passed on to the interviewer during the FSV interview. That was all i had, really. Thanks to them.
Anyways yeah i did compile some tapes a few times here and there and showed the rest. All they did was ask for more.
-.-
But its nice, you know.... grab a few of your old friends and watch each other grow up over the years.
"OMG you had such a stupid hairstyle!!"
"Hey you too!!"
"well that was last time..."
"No, i meant currently..."
*fight fight...*
But then again... why did i record all these? Many times, when i am recording, a person would turn to the camera... then back to the group and say,"He siao la... recording again."
Donald just felt sth hit him in the gut. LOLZ...
My mentality is to preserve wht we have done. I mean... it's something.. HISTORY!! It's something! i still have toys that i sucked on (TOYS DAMMIT!!! TOYS!!!) when i was a baby. They're tucked nicely in my room in Malaysia. i still have that painting i did on the wall ( even after much disapproval by mother goose....) when i was a young hairless kid.
Thus my thirst to preserve eveything on video.
but how does this relate to my interest in war and romance?
On the video.. you can see that WE GROWED TOGETHER.
FRIENDSHIP!
what if one day, something happens... you HAVE that footage of ur friend! MEMORIES!
then that leads to the guy hiding behind the tank.
If only he had something besides memeories tht directly relates to his loved one (okay that word, loved one, is cliched already....) or even better; get someone to video him hiding behind the tank... and if he lives.. he can show the clip to his grandchildren and say... stuff.... and if he dies in the end.... well...it could spark some great ideas or sth to a viewer.
and romance...
Remember the old wars? Civil wars maybe. People would fight on common ground. Form up in huge formations then take turns firing at each other. Then, both would charge to each other and fight till the death, literally?
Those men were freaking brave. And to me, those battles are romantic.
Told you i was weird.
Thei rifles were DECORATED and had ORNAMENTS. They had designs! They used beautiful grained wood for the rifle. Their canons were also decorated. Their uniforms were stunning! And they werent sissies. They didnt fight with guns that can shoot around corners.. didnt have accurate artillery and stuff. They shot ball bearings btw.... and lolz.... when they shoot, even at a hundred meters, the wind could blow their ball bearing off course. =p
They went to war, with not many things on their side.
Close quarters really do things to people. Rather than making mathematical calculations, aiming the gun, firing, and getting a feedback on radio abt the accuracy of ur artillery shot. It's different to face ur oponent then getting him from afar.
"Hey man how's ur day?"
"Oh i got 50 Japs in one arty (artillery) shot a few minutes ago."
"oh that's nice..."
*A guy crashes into the room, crusing and yelling, and shooting his rifle aimlessly. Finally he points the gun into his mouth and pulls the trigger.*
"What happened to him?"
"He shot a Jap at point-blank. Then he just lost it."
It's romantic if u think about it.... structured battles i mean.
that's why i find wars after 1945 very dull and technical.
I saw German rocket planes built in 1945-6 and it just lost its romance of Germans fighting courageously for Grossdeutschland.
Now wht about guy-girl/ guy-guy / girl-girl relationship?
aha.. "real" romance.
Personally i have no objections to homosexual relationships. Its just like two good friends who like each other a lot. oh well.
But if my children turn out to be homos.. i will be SOOO bloody pissed.....
"You wanna be like your cousin or what?!"
When i came to Singapore... i formed this mentality..."Singaporean girls love to be pampered, smooched and touched."
I'm like... wtf? in pri sch ppl went for big dicks and gentlemanliness.
But yeah i have a different view on the SG girls now. Some act cute... some complain... some are matured enough to know..... yeah... we're all the same...
but i really cant stand it when guys start to do almost EVERYTHING for the girl.
it just sucks.
Give money, give clothes, give hugs and kisses EVERY SINGLE TIME..... BOORING!!!
where the hell's the TEASING!!!
The girl wants money. The guy doenst have it. The girl says,"oh it's ok.... when u have enuf money u can buy it for me! *smile smile*"
Guy goes,"Uh... okay.. anything for you, dear."
wht the toot, man....
oh i LOVE teasing.
btw.. teasing and flirting, is DIFFERENT.
Crush and love, are also TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!
i keep getting news that this person likes this person "long time already" (wow! one month, is long?!?!?!) ... and they call it love. -.-
Crush, people.. Crushes....
anyways yeah.. teasing...
showing ur butt... swaying it (whooo!!!)... playing with their hair.. RESISTING to wht they want (but do it in the end after some teasing). DOING things that they DO NOT expect you to (in a proper manner though. You dont just go up to a girl and pull her skirt off..... RIP!! "haha i'm teasing you!")
but then again... relationships and stuff... there arent really any clear guidelines to wht u should do. It's a feeling thing. But i read somewhere that feelings and fake feeiling could come together as one and u may think its just one feeling.
uh ok.. yeah.. romance...
hmm... i love subtlety... doing little things..... then the girl finds out only after a period of time.
I used to plan dinners, a night out somewhere.. stuff like that.. really really planned... time and place and stuff... for my girlfriend... but then... a lot nv worked out. Either because they just straight out DONT WANT TO.... or they think that place is lame.
Cmon... Singapore's not just Bugis, orchard, J8.... we have Kranji, Jurong, Holland village, Changi, sembawang, mari-nabei, and eunos... a lot of places. But then for some people... no aircon, no shopping, must walk... they decline your invitation and walk away.
They still WALK away in the end so WTF?!?!
But then there was Wei Shan.. oh... wei shan... ( no shaun.. not talking abt u...)..... she agreed to me once... and i brought her out to some special place. and when i brought her to the place.... she may have had the most romantic and pleasant night ever. Everything started going smoothly that night... we had our own time together... it was PERFECT. She started talking.... fooling around... Things... *wink wink*...=p
then i had to dump her a few weeks later. -.-
and she clung on for a few weeks more... before finally O levels came and we went separate ways.
and i have never never never never bought her gifts (but she got me a neckie for my bday this year.) or kissed or hugged and i barely said," i love you" at all!!
It all showed in the subtlety... ... well i tried.
I wrote her stories.
Lots of them.
and she loved it.
.......
my stories.....
War and Romance.
They just go together perfectly.
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Audi
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