If there's one thing that I'm very judgmental about in the Army is the appearance of a person in uniform. I don't hold a very important position, and I'm only a Private, the second lowest rank in this whole hierarchy of shiny bling-bling awesomeness. But I keep checking on my bearing - checking seams, removing lint, arranging collars and keeping my jockey cap sharp and level. It's like preparing for a rainy day when a superior lashes at you. The least I could say is, "HA! But my neatly folded sleeve disagrees with you!"
There are various tricks out there to go around getting that polished boot and sleeves folded with the sharpest accuracy. The rule of the thumb is - if it works, it works. Looks good, good to go. Hell, I don't even polish my boots to that ultra-shiny sheen some people are having. I was meant to toil in the mud, not become a display model for the aunties.
If there's one thing that irks me is the way some would wear their berets. Call me old-fashioned, but berets are a mark of prestige. What's with the chapati style?
Look at guy with hands in pocket.
(Source)
So here I am, writing this guide on how to properly shape a beret. Or as we call it here in the SAF - seasoning. We season everything... from chicken meat to boots and rifles.
It's not meant to be THE way to shape a beret nor do I guarantee you'll look damn bloody smart wearing it after. Looks good, good to go.
Ready? Here are the things you'll need to prepare:
Got them? Cool.
I didn't have the luck to receive my beret in a parade. I bought mine at the e-mart for five dollars. If you could choose the size of your beret, buy one that's slightly bigger than your jockey cap. I'm wearing a size 7, and a fellow RP of mine recommended me to get a 7 1/4 instead. The reason is because the beret will definitely shrink after a while. There's a drawstring that could be adjusted if it was too big to fit. Also, the extra cloth area will give a slightly lower hangover over the eyebrow that, in my opinion, clearly spells "Ima kick your ass, and still look good doing it."
Wear the beret on your head. It has to sit straight on your head and the rims should be about a finger and a half spacing above your eyebrow. Shape the beret over your head by pulling the right side over to the side of your head, pinching it where the crest is supposed to be and neatly fold the creases to make the hangover. The edge of the hangover should lightly touch the outer ends of the eyebrows. Most people would leave it at that and that's where the chapati-style originates from. Can't have that. Once you have a rough idea on how it'll look like, tie the drawstring with a dead knot but don't cut off the ends.
Here's where we start shaping and "seasoning" the beret. Find an airy place and light up the candle. Secure it to the table and bring over the beret. Then, lightly tease the beret fabric with the flame. The purpose here is to burn off the excess fluff on the fabric. Don't be afraid of the fire - the fabric isn't that flammable. Just remember to move it around and around the whole fabric area and not stay in one spot. What you'll get is a beret that looks like it's been toasted and the lingering smell of burnt fluff. Gotta love the smell... it's like over-barbequed meat over a grill set in the middle of a burning dumpster with a dead whore in it.
Take the disposable razor and scrape away the burnt fluff. No need to be gentle here but shave lengthwise along the fabric. Take your time. After that, repeat the step before until there is little fluff left to burn.
Next, overturn the beret to reveal the cloth layer underneath. Take a pair of scissors and cut away all this cloth, saving only the leather portion. This leather portion holds the crest that will be added later on. Some might argue against cutting away this layer but it's your preference. I cut mine off (like a few things that's been done unwillingly to my body parts). Repeat the burning-shaving process with the underside. You won't want to keep plucking excess fluff from your hair every time you wear this baby, would you?
Almost done! Dump the beret under hot water and gently wash away all that pungent carbon that made you curse at me for leading you into this mess. Experience has thought me never to use detergent or soap to wash headgear like caps and helmets (aha, you say.) so I didn't. Now do a final wash in cold water and make sure the loose fluff is removed. Remove the excess water by gently squeezing the beret. Don't rinse it or twist it or my two cats gets it.
Once that's done, fire up the computer, set up your favorite game, load up a movie, surf Digg.com or anything to waste the time away. You could even clear up the workplace and spray some goddamn air freshener around! You're then going to perform any of the mentioned activities like you always do but this time WITH the beret, still damp, over your head. That's right, wear that beret, and I didn't literally meant hang it somewhere over your head with a hook, dumbass. Shape it with the mirror as your guide and once you've got it all set and creased, let it dry naturally over your head. I passed my time by camwhoring.
You're pretty much done after the beret dries up. You've just saved yourself a couple of months of constant seasoning to get the beret shaped right within the hour. Even my old NCC beret that's been with me for a good four years doesn't look as good as this new one I have. And that old thing has been creased and squeezed every week!
There's a particular way of storing a beret. This is what I've been thought years ago, and is the norm for a lot of people. Pull the front and back end of the rims (the drawstring end and the opposite of that) to clearly divide the beret into two. Then pick up the side with the two airholes and bring up a third way of the beret. Finish this by pulling the other end over the folded end to create this funny looking sushi-beret-fold thing. Find a place to wedge this beret into and leave it there till the next time you need it. I have mine under my mattresses. Use this sushi-folding method to carry around the beret when not in use outside. You can also be a douchebag by putting it under the left shoulder strap of your number 4. Just remember to walk around like you own the place. Make no notice that you look totally like a jackass with a thing that looks like a dead animal on your shoulder.
Otherwise, wear it on your head and beam with pride as you greet other fellow soldiers because deep inside, you know, you look awesome with that beret on your head.
I hope this guide would be of use to anyone who comes across it. Please spread this article to anyone that sports the chapati-syle. Hell, better yet, offer them your beret-shaping services and charge them five dollars for it!
And yes, if you were wondering, I was high the day I decided to light a candle and burn fluff. This proves it.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this article.
There are various tricks out there to go around getting that polished boot and sleeves folded with the sharpest accuracy. The rule of the thumb is - if it works, it works. Looks good, good to go. Hell, I don't even polish my boots to that ultra-shiny sheen some people are having. I was meant to toil in the mud, not become a display model for the aunties.
If there's one thing that irks me is the way some would wear their berets. Call me old-fashioned, but berets are a mark of prestige. What's with the chapati style?
Look at guy with hands in pocket.
(Source)
So here I am, writing this guide on how to properly shape a beret. Or as we call it here in the SAF - seasoning. We season everything... from chicken meat to boots and rifles.
It's not meant to be THE way to shape a beret nor do I guarantee you'll look damn bloody smart wearing it after. Looks good, good to go.
Ready? Here are the things you'll need to prepare:
- A beret a bit larger than you're used to.
- Lighter
- Candles
- Scissors
- Disposable razor
- Running tap water
- An hour to spare
Got them? Cool.
I didn't have the luck to receive my beret in a parade. I bought mine at the e-mart for five dollars. If you could choose the size of your beret, buy one that's slightly bigger than your jockey cap. I'm wearing a size 7, and a fellow RP of mine recommended me to get a 7 1/4 instead. The reason is because the beret will definitely shrink after a while. There's a drawstring that could be adjusted if it was too big to fit. Also, the extra cloth area will give a slightly lower hangover over the eyebrow that, in my opinion, clearly spells "Ima kick your ass, and still look good doing it."
Wear the beret on your head. It has to sit straight on your head and the rims should be about a finger and a half spacing above your eyebrow. Shape the beret over your head by pulling the right side over to the side of your head, pinching it where the crest is supposed to be and neatly fold the creases to make the hangover. The edge of the hangover should lightly touch the outer ends of the eyebrows. Most people would leave it at that and that's where the chapati-style originates from. Can't have that. Once you have a rough idea on how it'll look like, tie the drawstring with a dead knot but don't cut off the ends.
Here's where we start shaping and "seasoning" the beret. Find an airy place and light up the candle. Secure it to the table and bring over the beret. Then, lightly tease the beret fabric with the flame. The purpose here is to burn off the excess fluff on the fabric. Don't be afraid of the fire - the fabric isn't that flammable. Just remember to move it around and around the whole fabric area and not stay in one spot. What you'll get is a beret that looks like it's been toasted and the lingering smell of burnt fluff. Gotta love the smell... it's like over-barbequed meat over a grill set in the middle of a burning dumpster with a dead whore in it.
Take the disposable razor and scrape away the burnt fluff. No need to be gentle here but shave lengthwise along the fabric. Take your time. After that, repeat the step before until there is little fluff left to burn.
Next, overturn the beret to reveal the cloth layer underneath. Take a pair of scissors and cut away all this cloth, saving only the leather portion. This leather portion holds the crest that will be added later on. Some might argue against cutting away this layer but it's your preference. I cut mine off (like a few things that's been done unwillingly to my body parts). Repeat the burning-shaving process with the underside. You won't want to keep plucking excess fluff from your hair every time you wear this baby, would you?
Almost done! Dump the beret under hot water and gently wash away all that pungent carbon that made you curse at me for leading you into this mess. Experience has thought me never to use detergent or soap to wash headgear like caps and helmets (aha, you say.) so I didn't. Now do a final wash in cold water and make sure the loose fluff is removed. Remove the excess water by gently squeezing the beret. Don't rinse it or twist it or my two cats gets it.
Once that's done, fire up the computer, set up your favorite game, load up a movie, surf Digg.com or anything to waste the time away. You could even clear up the workplace and spray some goddamn air freshener around! You're then going to perform any of the mentioned activities like you always do but this time WITH the beret, still damp, over your head. That's right, wear that beret, and I didn't literally meant hang it somewhere over your head with a hook, dumbass. Shape it with the mirror as your guide and once you've got it all set and creased, let it dry naturally over your head. I passed my time by camwhoring.
You're pretty much done after the beret dries up. You've just saved yourself a couple of months of constant seasoning to get the beret shaped right within the hour. Even my old NCC beret that's been with me for a good four years doesn't look as good as this new one I have. And that old thing has been creased and squeezed every week!
There's a particular way of storing a beret. This is what I've been thought years ago, and is the norm for a lot of people. Pull the front and back end of the rims (the drawstring end and the opposite of that) to clearly divide the beret into two. Then pick up the side with the two airholes and bring up a third way of the beret. Finish this by pulling the other end over the folded end to create this funny looking sushi-beret-fold thing. Find a place to wedge this beret into and leave it there till the next time you need it. I have mine under my mattresses. Use this sushi-folding method to carry around the beret when not in use outside. You can also be a douchebag by putting it under the left shoulder strap of your number 4. Just remember to walk around like you own the place. Make no notice that you look totally like a jackass with a thing that looks like a dead animal on your shoulder.
Otherwise, wear it on your head and beam with pride as you greet other fellow soldiers because deep inside, you know, you look awesome with that beret on your head.
I hope this guide would be of use to anyone who comes across it. Please spread this article to anyone that sports the chapati-syle. Hell, better yet, offer them your beret-shaping services and charge them five dollars for it!
And yes, if you were wondering, I was high the day I decided to light a candle and burn fluff. This proves it.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this article.
Posted by
Audi
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