I'd like to thank Jayden for giving me an honorable mention on his blog, twice, today. Thanks to everyone for the compliments on the photos and the blog. I'm afraid this post wont have photos of the same standards as before since I'm rushing for bed. You're looking for the previous three posts. Editing's a bitch.
On the morning of our posting results, 19th September 2008, I received two calls from Joey and Justin. I got off my bed, woke my computer up and scanned through my list of BMT friends on MSN. The heat was on.
I won't say we were given a wide variety of vocations. A lot of us went over to SISPEC. The others had vocations like Armour Driver, Engineer, Recce, Sea Soldier and so on. I think one of them had "Armored Driver". At that point of time, it didn't sound so bad. I'd love to be an armored driver.
I logged in to check my posting. There you go - it was SISPEC. The feeling was... how should I put it? My reaction was more of a 'meh' than an 'OMG!'. Justin called me and we talked from then on.
We learnt who were the four in our platoon who got into OCS. Nick was one of them. I was happy for him - he wanted to go in. He wanted to go in, but thought he couldn't make it. And that was the confusing part. I met him later that day and he had that 'meh' reaction as well.
Justin was a different case, though. "I think I've crashed and burned already man." He told me that over the phone.
Reality hit us all pretty hard that day. It was an annoying reality. A few people called me that day and the conversations were all the same. We all debated on why Mr. Asshole got into OCS, why the other person with a better heart for others became a man. We debated, and tried to reason, and came to a rough conclusion to everything. It wasn't so much of the accuracy of the conclusion that mattered - we just needed to calm our anger.
I met up with Nick in the afternoon at Bukit Batok. We were meant to go over to Sentosa where there was a gathering but it didn't happen. One thing led to another and I found myself in his house.
Again, things weren't settled yet and we hung around his window, smoking and drinking, as we talked about things that mattered most to us. I have a feeling, though, that we were both afraid of the future.
Personally, I'm afraid of training now. During the course of BMT I had endured and experienced quite a few things that I would call "weird". It's not really a good sign, and I'm afraid my body doesn't allow me to excel to the point I want it to. It sucks when you're a man and you can't even hold yourself up.
We moved on to town again and Justin hooked up with us over there. Nick left, and I had another honest talk with Justin. It's sad to see him trying to build himself up again from the morning news. He pretty much settled on, "Let's see how it goes."
That night we had a round of LAN at Cyberdome under Meridian. Junior joined us later. I needed something else to think about. Call of Duty 4 didn't work that well and soon things got very down.
We gathered for a while after the game and caught up on Junior's recent trip to Genting with Joey, Daryl and Wei Ming. I remember Nicholas standing there and I felt really proud of him. There really isn't much to it - we just went through BMT together. All the nights we lay beside each other talking about our dreams... it became very emotional.
Before we split, he stood there, waving. I knew he had more to show than just a simple twiddling goodbye with his fingers so we opened up and exchanged hugs. Finally, maybe, this was the end. OCS and SISPEC, we have heard stories and we knew we'd be different after it all. Even now, some of us have turned single. When Sgt. Lyndon spoke about how difficult it was to keep relationships while in the Army I didn't believe him that much. But I guess it is part and parcel of NS life. Women may or may not understand the things we go through. Even my father, who has never served NS, doesn't understand. We're having fun, but it's the kind of fun where you're also watching behind your backs every now and then.
I met up with Uncle Jimmy the next day for a job. We were involved with the opening of the Kallang Leisure Park and had some wire work to do. Even he noticed that I've changed, if only a little bit. He was always the one who gave me advice and guide me to the correct path.
He then said, "I can't always be there to guide you. I know you are the kind who must have someone to lead you. But I cannot. I'm not your father and if I were to treat you like my son, that'll be wrong on my part. I have a son of my own."
That night I slept right away. I was awake since 7am this morning. I wanted to pack my things for SISPEC but only managed to finish at around 11pm. I really didn't feel like going. Maybe it's the lack of motivation, or I had a different objective already that goes beyond NS; my career.
From here on starts a new chapter of my NS life. I won't be blogging about it like I did for BMT. Not after the previous incident with the authorities. Instead, I'll keep it all in a hidden place just for keepsake. That's just me, if I don't write or take photos about it, I will forget. I don't think I'd like to forget anything from times like this.
See you next week.
On the morning of our posting results, 19th September 2008, I received two calls from Joey and Justin. I got off my bed, woke my computer up and scanned through my list of BMT friends on MSN. The heat was on.
I won't say we were given a wide variety of vocations. A lot of us went over to SISPEC. The others had vocations like Armour Driver, Engineer, Recce, Sea Soldier and so on. I think one of them had "Armored Driver". At that point of time, it didn't sound so bad. I'd love to be an armored driver.
I logged in to check my posting. There you go - it was SISPEC. The feeling was... how should I put it? My reaction was more of a 'meh' than an 'OMG!'. Justin called me and we talked from then on.
We learnt who were the four in our platoon who got into OCS. Nick was one of them. I was happy for him - he wanted to go in. He wanted to go in, but thought he couldn't make it. And that was the confusing part. I met him later that day and he had that 'meh' reaction as well.
Justin was a different case, though. "I think I've crashed and burned already man." He told me that over the phone.
Reality hit us all pretty hard that day. It was an annoying reality. A few people called me that day and the conversations were all the same. We all debated on why Mr. Asshole got into OCS, why the other person with a better heart for others became a man. We debated, and tried to reason, and came to a rough conclusion to everything. It wasn't so much of the accuracy of the conclusion that mattered - we just needed to calm our anger.
I met up with Nick in the afternoon at Bukit Batok. We were meant to go over to Sentosa where there was a gathering but it didn't happen. One thing led to another and I found myself in his house.
Again, things weren't settled yet and we hung around his window, smoking and drinking, as we talked about things that mattered most to us. I have a feeling, though, that we were both afraid of the future.
Personally, I'm afraid of training now. During the course of BMT I had endured and experienced quite a few things that I would call "weird". It's not really a good sign, and I'm afraid my body doesn't allow me to excel to the point I want it to. It sucks when you're a man and you can't even hold yourself up.
We moved on to town again and Justin hooked up with us over there. Nick left, and I had another honest talk with Justin. It's sad to see him trying to build himself up again from the morning news. He pretty much settled on, "Let's see how it goes."
That night we had a round of LAN at Cyberdome under Meridian. Junior joined us later. I needed something else to think about. Call of Duty 4 didn't work that well and soon things got very down.
We gathered for a while after the game and caught up on Junior's recent trip to Genting with Joey, Daryl and Wei Ming. I remember Nicholas standing there and I felt really proud of him. There really isn't much to it - we just went through BMT together. All the nights we lay beside each other talking about our dreams... it became very emotional.
Before we split, he stood there, waving. I knew he had more to show than just a simple twiddling goodbye with his fingers so we opened up and exchanged hugs. Finally, maybe, this was the end. OCS and SISPEC, we have heard stories and we knew we'd be different after it all. Even now, some of us have turned single. When Sgt. Lyndon spoke about how difficult it was to keep relationships while in the Army I didn't believe him that much. But I guess it is part and parcel of NS life. Women may or may not understand the things we go through. Even my father, who has never served NS, doesn't understand. We're having fun, but it's the kind of fun where you're also watching behind your backs every now and then.
I met up with Uncle Jimmy the next day for a job. We were involved with the opening of the Kallang Leisure Park and had some wire work to do. Even he noticed that I've changed, if only a little bit. He was always the one who gave me advice and guide me to the correct path.
He then said, "I can't always be there to guide you. I know you are the kind who must have someone to lead you. But I cannot. I'm not your father and if I were to treat you like my son, that'll be wrong on my part. I have a son of my own."
That night I slept right away. I was awake since 7am this morning. I wanted to pack my things for SISPEC but only managed to finish at around 11pm. I really didn't feel like going. Maybe it's the lack of motivation, or I had a different objective already that goes beyond NS; my career.
From here on starts a new chapter of my NS life. I won't be blogging about it like I did for BMT. Not after the previous incident with the authorities. Instead, I'll keep it all in a hidden place just for keepsake. That's just me, if I don't write or take photos about it, I will forget. I don't think I'd like to forget anything from times like this.
See you next week.
Posted by
Audi
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My Life
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