Another day another 8 hrs of standing up, pacing around, walking on my heels, and smiling so sweetly at people (well… at least I try to. Im starting to find myself smiling at the wall.)
First thing’s first; I said hi to everyone working there along my aisle… including Eugene’s girlfriend….. and I made sure I didn’t do more than a grin to my little girl, Wendy.
Wendy….. nice name…. My film history teacher is called Wendy also… I also like… LOL.
Today’s sales not bad. A bit more busier than yesterday…….. which then comes to…
I almost sold FOUR computers!!!!!
Knnccb I dunno where the hell everyone else went… it was only me guarding the laptops and wendy on the other end doing the printer sales and in the middle was my crapping brader, Daniel. Yesterday the lau jiao all wan to chiong until we had like 5 or seven ppl there la!
I sold one laptop to a phillipino guy. Not bad… we two talk cock together until so shiong I’m going like, “Ah ya ya ya you see ar if you buy this laptop u will get a free mouse cum phone! Dunno what that is? Here it is! See? It’s a mouse! Can click can scroll can move around… but oh no.. look… it’s ur friend from a foreign country calling using Skype! Then… open your mouse and ta da! It’s a phone!”
He “ORRHHHH” till so long I can go down buy KFC to da pau.
I brought him to the counter.... and say to the lau jiaos standing there, “Here! Your first sale of the day!”
I quickly ran back to Wendy and call her squat down on the floor with me.
“I just made my first sale! A Sony Vaio!”
Then I dunno wht else I said but I know she laugh laugh laugh like hamster kanna electrocuted.
Then Vincent came and squat together with us, “Audi… you sold the customer the Sony Vaio right?”
Proudly I said, “Yup!”
“Na ke customer credit card denied.”
PCB!!!!!!
I met a lot of people today. The second family was an old mother with her two sons. It’s like… somehow… I know la ppl say my mandarin no good but I tried to converse in Chinese la. I take Cambridge Mandarin course after O levels then got cert some more - better not waste rite?
“Auntie ni hao…”
“WAAA!!!! Ni keyi ting hua yu ar?!?!?!!?”
But then … no sales.
Almost got sale!!!! Because the two nerd sons were like… mumble here mumble there… the mother was confused whether the payment was 12 months or 24 months (I said 2 years - one month pay 190 plus. Laptop cost only 2K. Siao rite?)
But then my kaki behind me at the camera booths saved my backside and FINALLY the family went and pointed, “This one hor….”
“ya.. this one…”
“ya….”
Then they stare at it…..
… then never buy.
KNNCCB!!!!
Then there was this malay guy look like negro coming over. Still can see me look up look down then said, “You Chinese or malay ar?”
Whahahahah….. ever since the start of work ppl think I’m Chinese. Shiok man… I will have a good future in Singapore. HAHA!
This guy was like saying his girlfriend wan to talk to her mother in USA and she needed the computer by TOMORROW. So I give him the appropriate model and he said he wanna be a BEST member so the monthly payment can get lower.
Daniel sent him to the Customer Service centre to register.
“Eh Daniel… I thought if register as member need to wait?”
“Ya.. one week.”
We never saw the guy return again.
HAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!
Had lunch with my kaki, Xek, from the camera department (he doesn’t wanna reveal his real name. Probably Fei Lon Tong since he so fat.) down under Taka…. Katsu Don!!!!
Quickly went back up to Wendy and we had a small talk.
Wah liu…. I dunno lei… its like…. Whahahaa….. this attraction is not the *ting* lan jiao will stiff wan. It’s like…. Zzzz.. Josephine once said, after she looked at the type of girls I like, “Audi like all those xiao mei mei type…”
Am I a semi-paedophile?
Wendy was moving the boxers of the printers, stacking them up, heaving them around. Trying to make some space for her to walk. I think the box even bigger than her.
So… I did the MAN thing….
From my squatting position I said,“Eh I think the box bigger than you….”
HAHAHAHHAHA!!!! Best pick up line from Best Denki! LOL
Ya la I helped her stack up… all the time I’ve over there squatting she looking down on me…
mmm…. Sweet talk… ahahaha….. Eugene’s girlfriend and her gong kia partner look at us from other side also know something is happening.
Nb it’s like she sell printers….. out of 10 customers.. she will sell seven so easily.
Not bad not bad a girl that can talk…. (she used the word “MOREEVER” you know!!! Who say O level private candidate stupid!?!?!)
Then at one time she was talking to me about how much better it is to just buy a laptop without insurance and started giving me all the figures and calculations and interest rebate.
I squat down there nod nod nod in the end fall asleep. LOL.
She was playing with her hands and I was looking at her painted nails with all the flower flower designs and her pink necklace and yada yada yada….. then I saw a ring on her finger.
Eh? Is there a chance she’s attached.?
Doo lan…..
It was near the end of my shift. Then I had this family come in.
It was an old Chinese Cantonese-speaking couple with a (surprisingly) dark daughter who’s definitely twice the size of her plump father.
Then I started to look some more while I was standing beside them and I realized…. Omg she’s a Malay!
“So mam you buying a computer for yourself?”
“No la… it’s for my daughter…. There…”
I think this sale’s gonna be etched in my mind forever.
The father was one of those people who don’t really understand computers.
He was on the phone with someone, reading the specs off the display to the other guy.
He went like, “Orh orh this is…. Twenty uh…. Twenty what ar? Twenty Gee Bee!”
“Then ar… zhe ge shi shenme ar….. one point eight zero gee-H-zet ar? Wo bu zhi dao la…”
The wife was those diam diam wan… but very pleasant. Classic older generation la. I also felt the father to be somewhat cynical with me since I’m a promoter and every mistake that I do will get shot at and call me liar and all that la (he nv call me liar la).
The background here is that all these while I managed to sell of non-HP computers…. But I’m supposed to promote HP products! One product sold I get twenty dollar incentive! But then im here selling away Canon la Acer la Sony la…. Daniel still can shake my hands and say thank you. (cos he’s selling Acer.)
“Okay you see sir this HP model is the best deal you could get for your daughter…”
“Orh this wan come with all the programs loaded?”
I looked a bit….. “Mmm yeah it doesn’t… standard Windows XP stuff….”
“You mean no Excel or powerpint or whatever?”
“No you gotta buy that separately.”
The father shake his head ready to walk away, “Jia lat lei like that where can what if student buy ar then no programs cannot so school work!”
“Actually Sir students have their school install programs for them…..”
“You mean school install wan ar?! But if never lei then how?! Later my daughter wan to do school work then how?!”
“Oh she can send it over to her school and they should be able to install all those Photoshop or Excel or Micrsoft Office and stuff…. What poly is she in?”
“Poly?!?! She’s in primary school!”
What the….
Primary school need Excel wan ar?
In the end I managed to talk them into it… they were ready to spend a thousand eight on a HP desktop. They were seriously really concerned about the value-for-money factor and all that.
Finally my 20 dollar incentive seems to be coming closer.
The father was all cynical about me and stuff like that but then throughout I went up beside him, talked a bit and I realized that this man isn’t doing it because he’s an asshole or stuff like that. Not every family could spend a thousand eight like that.
One of the deals was that they can choose either a standard lcd display or widescreen.
They’ve never seen a widescreen lcd before and didn’t know what’s so good about having more real estate. Actually they didn’t even know what’s an LCD display. It’s pretty obvious these are the hardworking people of Singapore who toil through the mud all day long. Respectable nonetheless.
I couldn’t find a working widescreen at the HP side but there was one on the Acer side. So I went there….
The Acer on display had a big price tag that was four hundred dollars cheaper than the HP wan.
“Eh why this one cheaper ar?”
I looked at the specs… and realized it’s the same model as Tharik’s computer. And Tharik’s computer is of respectable specs already.
I read it.. compared… and noticed…. god, HP screwed up their promotion somewhere.
Some more the free gift includes a wireless keyboard and mouse, web cam, something else and a 1GB thumdrive.
“Why ar why?”
Furthermore they could upgrade to a 19 inch LCD….. and had a separate graphics card, an ATI series (the HP only had integrated IMA crap.) And a Core Duo 3GhZ processor to boot.
“Aiya nvm la.. we already chose that one… he said that’s the best for her…”
“Actually ar……”, I began.
They keep quiet….
“…to be honest with you….”
They turned their bodies to me…
“…take this one. Don’t take the HP.”
They bought the Acer.
I walked over to Wendy and squatted beside her. She joined me after a while.
Like my now-missing beng brader, Jerome, once said, “Dun fuck other ppl money.”
He also said, “Brotherhood can only work when everyone agrees the thing is there.”
“Eh Wendy where you stay ar?”
“Ang Mo Kio…”
SONG BO!!!!
First thing’s first; I said hi to everyone working there along my aisle… including Eugene’s girlfriend….. and I made sure I didn’t do more than a grin to my little girl, Wendy.
Wendy….. nice name…. My film history teacher is called Wendy also… I also like… LOL.
Today’s sales not bad. A bit more busier than yesterday…….. which then comes to…
I almost sold FOUR computers!!!!!
Knnccb I dunno where the hell everyone else went… it was only me guarding the laptops and wendy on the other end doing the printer sales and in the middle was my crapping brader, Daniel. Yesterday the lau jiao all wan to chiong until we had like 5 or seven ppl there la!
I sold one laptop to a phillipino guy. Not bad… we two talk cock together until so shiong I’m going like, “Ah ya ya ya you see ar if you buy this laptop u will get a free mouse cum phone! Dunno what that is? Here it is! See? It’s a mouse! Can click can scroll can move around… but oh no.. look… it’s ur friend from a foreign country calling using Skype! Then… open your mouse and ta da! It’s a phone!”
He “ORRHHHH” till so long I can go down buy KFC to da pau.
I brought him to the counter.... and say to the lau jiaos standing there, “Here! Your first sale of the day!”
I quickly ran back to Wendy and call her squat down on the floor with me.
“I just made my first sale! A Sony Vaio!”
Then I dunno wht else I said but I know she laugh laugh laugh like hamster kanna electrocuted.
Then Vincent came and squat together with us, “Audi… you sold the customer the Sony Vaio right?”
Proudly I said, “Yup!”
“Na ke customer credit card denied.”
PCB!!!!!!
I met a lot of people today. The second family was an old mother with her two sons. It’s like… somehow… I know la ppl say my mandarin no good but I tried to converse in Chinese la. I take Cambridge Mandarin course after O levels then got cert some more - better not waste rite?
“Auntie ni hao…”
“WAAA!!!! Ni keyi ting hua yu ar?!?!?!!?”
But then … no sales.
Almost got sale!!!! Because the two nerd sons were like… mumble here mumble there… the mother was confused whether the payment was 12 months or 24 months (I said 2 years - one month pay 190 plus. Laptop cost only 2K. Siao rite?)
But then my kaki behind me at the camera booths saved my backside and FINALLY the family went and pointed, “This one hor….”
“ya.. this one…”
“ya….”
Then they stare at it…..
… then never buy.
KNNCCB!!!!
Then there was this malay guy look like negro coming over. Still can see me look up look down then said, “You Chinese or malay ar?”
Whahahahah….. ever since the start of work ppl think I’m Chinese. Shiok man… I will have a good future in Singapore. HAHA!
This guy was like saying his girlfriend wan to talk to her mother in USA and she needed the computer by TOMORROW. So I give him the appropriate model and he said he wanna be a BEST member so the monthly payment can get lower.
Daniel sent him to the Customer Service centre to register.
“Eh Daniel… I thought if register as member need to wait?”
“Ya.. one week.”
We never saw the guy return again.
HAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!
Had lunch with my kaki, Xek, from the camera department (he doesn’t wanna reveal his real name. Probably Fei Lon Tong since he so fat.) down under Taka…. Katsu Don!!!!
Quickly went back up to Wendy and we had a small talk.
Wah liu…. I dunno lei… its like…. Whahahaa….. this attraction is not the *ting* lan jiao will stiff wan. It’s like…. Zzzz.. Josephine once said, after she looked at the type of girls I like, “Audi like all those xiao mei mei type…”
Am I a semi-paedophile?
Wendy was moving the boxers of the printers, stacking them up, heaving them around. Trying to make some space for her to walk. I think the box even bigger than her.
So… I did the MAN thing….
From my squatting position I said,“Eh I think the box bigger than you….”
HAHAHAHHAHA!!!! Best pick up line from Best Denki! LOL
Ya la I helped her stack up… all the time I’ve over there squatting she looking down on me…
mmm…. Sweet talk… ahahaha….. Eugene’s girlfriend and her gong kia partner look at us from other side also know something is happening.
Nb it’s like she sell printers….. out of 10 customers.. she will sell seven so easily.
Not bad not bad a girl that can talk…. (she used the word “MOREEVER” you know!!! Who say O level private candidate stupid!?!?!)
Then at one time she was talking to me about how much better it is to just buy a laptop without insurance and started giving me all the figures and calculations and interest rebate.
I squat down there nod nod nod in the end fall asleep. LOL.
She was playing with her hands and I was looking at her painted nails with all the flower flower designs and her pink necklace and yada yada yada….. then I saw a ring on her finger.
Eh? Is there a chance she’s attached.?
Doo lan…..
It was near the end of my shift. Then I had this family come in.
It was an old Chinese Cantonese-speaking couple with a (surprisingly) dark daughter who’s definitely twice the size of her plump father.
Then I started to look some more while I was standing beside them and I realized…. Omg she’s a Malay!
“So mam you buying a computer for yourself?”
“No la… it’s for my daughter…. There…”
I think this sale’s gonna be etched in my mind forever.
The father was one of those people who don’t really understand computers.
He was on the phone with someone, reading the specs off the display to the other guy.
He went like, “Orh orh this is…. Twenty uh…. Twenty what ar? Twenty Gee Bee!”
“Then ar… zhe ge shi shenme ar….. one point eight zero gee-H-zet ar? Wo bu zhi dao la…”
The wife was those diam diam wan… but very pleasant. Classic older generation la. I also felt the father to be somewhat cynical with me since I’m a promoter and every mistake that I do will get shot at and call me liar and all that la (he nv call me liar la).
The background here is that all these while I managed to sell of non-HP computers…. But I’m supposed to promote HP products! One product sold I get twenty dollar incentive! But then im here selling away Canon la Acer la Sony la…. Daniel still can shake my hands and say thank you. (cos he’s selling Acer.)
“Okay you see sir this HP model is the best deal you could get for your daughter…”
“Orh this wan come with all the programs loaded?”
I looked a bit….. “Mmm yeah it doesn’t… standard Windows XP stuff….”
“You mean no Excel or powerpint or whatever?”
“No you gotta buy that separately.”
The father shake his head ready to walk away, “Jia lat lei like that where can what if student buy ar then no programs cannot so school work!”
“Actually Sir students have their school install programs for them…..”
“You mean school install wan ar?! But if never lei then how?! Later my daughter wan to do school work then how?!”
“Oh she can send it over to her school and they should be able to install all those Photoshop or Excel or Micrsoft Office and stuff…. What poly is she in?”
“Poly?!?! She’s in primary school!”
What the….
Primary school need Excel wan ar?
In the end I managed to talk them into it… they were ready to spend a thousand eight on a HP desktop. They were seriously really concerned about the value-for-money factor and all that.
Finally my 20 dollar incentive seems to be coming closer.
The father was all cynical about me and stuff like that but then throughout I went up beside him, talked a bit and I realized that this man isn’t doing it because he’s an asshole or stuff like that. Not every family could spend a thousand eight like that.
One of the deals was that they can choose either a standard lcd display or widescreen.
They’ve never seen a widescreen lcd before and didn’t know what’s so good about having more real estate. Actually they didn’t even know what’s an LCD display. It’s pretty obvious these are the hardworking people of Singapore who toil through the mud all day long. Respectable nonetheless.
I couldn’t find a working widescreen at the HP side but there was one on the Acer side. So I went there….
The Acer on display had a big price tag that was four hundred dollars cheaper than the HP wan.
“Eh why this one cheaper ar?”
I looked at the specs… and realized it’s the same model as Tharik’s computer. And Tharik’s computer is of respectable specs already.
I read it.. compared… and noticed…. god, HP screwed up their promotion somewhere.
Some more the free gift includes a wireless keyboard and mouse, web cam, something else and a 1GB thumdrive.
“Why ar why?”
Furthermore they could upgrade to a 19 inch LCD….. and had a separate graphics card, an ATI series (the HP only had integrated IMA crap.) And a Core Duo 3GhZ processor to boot.
“Aiya nvm la.. we already chose that one… he said that’s the best for her…”
“Actually ar……”, I began.
They keep quiet….
“…to be honest with you….”
They turned their bodies to me…
“…take this one. Don’t take the HP.”
They bought the Acer.
I walked over to Wendy and squatted beside her. She joined me after a while.
Like my now-missing beng brader, Jerome, once said, “Dun fuck other ppl money.”
He also said, “Brotherhood can only work when everyone agrees the thing is there.”
“Eh Wendy where you stay ar?”
“Ang Mo Kio…”
SONG BO!!!!
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Audi
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I did it for the lulz
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