Ever wondered why you and many other people around the world think that the person you love, or even your best friend, is the "bes" amongst the rest?
We've all heard it before - remarks like "No wone else is better than him. I love him soooo much." or "Our relationship is so perfect; we do this and that and this and that together plus we like the same things bla bla.... no one can be better than us." or maybe even "I tell everything to him because i know he'll listen."
Well well well.. ... .. man of these remarks are a reflection of a psychological theory known as; PERCEPTUAL ACCENTUATION.
What does it mean? To put it simply, with references to Joseph DeVito's Human Communication; A Basic Course, perceptual accentuation is the behavior of you perceiving the person you LIKE or HAVE INTEREST FOR as being better than every0ne else i.e. smarter, better looking, stornger, wiser, more experienced.
ahaaaaa now we know why *ahem* is sooooo boastful about *ahem* and why *ahem* tends to stick to *ahem* a lot.
So is perceptual accentuation good or bad?
Actually.... perceptual accentuation is NORMAL. BUT.... some of us may firmly believe in this false perception till they stop communicating with other people as they think that others are not "good enough". Similarly, it may be the exact same reason why once a couple have a relationship, they tend to spend LESS time with their friends. YES it is also NORMAL for that to happen as after all, constant interaction with another would definitely form a tight bond between each other. HOWEVER, some of us might go "too far".
A quote from DeVito's book says,"Your tendency to perceive what you want or need can lead you to distort you perceptions of reality - to see what you need or want to see rather than what is really there. At the same time it can lead you to fail to perceive what you dont want to perceive."
He has given a very nice and simple example for this. Lets say for example a person enters a chatroom in hopes of finding a date. Most of the time, he may think a seemingly female chatter's "Hi!" as a sign of her interest in dating and not just a simple greeting.
Fascinating.
Likewise if you see your dog rolling about in the floor, growling with a cushion in its mouth and the cushion's contents spilling out, you might be think that "it's cute". But then, next day you see a stray dog, skinny, grey and bald, doing the same thing, you would most likely feel disgusted by the act. Even if it wasnt a stray dog but a neighbour whome you hate whose dog looks similar to yours, you'd still feel disgusted. Why? Perceptual accentuation; you like your dog.
Perceptual accentuation could also lead you to be easily bluffed. An insurance agent who seemingly looks polite, kind and wise may just as well smooth-talkin his way into confiming a deal with you. Your boyfriend's excuses for latecoming because of work may just as well be a bluff because you are already so used to thinking positively about him. A friend would go miles to speak good about his best friend to others even though in reality, his best friend isnt that "good" as the friend would perceive him to be.
Dont these situations sound awfully familiar?
Finally, readers, think about perceptual accentuation. i believe that by clearly distinguishing perceptual accentuation from reality, it could help you in some way or the other.
I sure wished that i know this term a few years ago.
We've all heard it before - remarks like "No wone else is better than him. I love him soooo much." or "Our relationship is so perfect; we do this and that and this and that together plus we like the same things bla bla.... no one can be better than us." or maybe even "I tell everything to him because i know he'll listen."
Well well well.. ... .. man of these remarks are a reflection of a psychological theory known as; PERCEPTUAL ACCENTUATION.
What does it mean? To put it simply, with references to Joseph DeVito's Human Communication; A Basic Course, perceptual accentuation is the behavior of you perceiving the person you LIKE or HAVE INTEREST FOR as being better than every0ne else i.e. smarter, better looking, stornger, wiser, more experienced.
ahaaaaa now we know why *ahem* is sooooo boastful about *ahem* and why *ahem* tends to stick to *ahem* a lot.
So is perceptual accentuation good or bad?
Actually.... perceptual accentuation is NORMAL. BUT.... some of us may firmly believe in this false perception till they stop communicating with other people as they think that others are not "good enough". Similarly, it may be the exact same reason why once a couple have a relationship, they tend to spend LESS time with their friends. YES it is also NORMAL for that to happen as after all, constant interaction with another would definitely form a tight bond between each other. HOWEVER, some of us might go "too far".
A quote from DeVito's book says,"Your tendency to perceive what you want or need can lead you to distort you perceptions of reality - to see what you need or want to see rather than what is really there. At the same time it can lead you to fail to perceive what you dont want to perceive."
He has given a very nice and simple example for this. Lets say for example a person enters a chatroom in hopes of finding a date. Most of the time, he may think a seemingly female chatter's "Hi!" as a sign of her interest in dating and not just a simple greeting.
Fascinating.
Likewise if you see your dog rolling about in the floor, growling with a cushion in its mouth and the cushion's contents spilling out, you might be think that "it's cute". But then, next day you see a stray dog, skinny, grey and bald, doing the same thing, you would most likely feel disgusted by the act. Even if it wasnt a stray dog but a neighbour whome you hate whose dog looks similar to yours, you'd still feel disgusted. Why? Perceptual accentuation; you like your dog.
Perceptual accentuation could also lead you to be easily bluffed. An insurance agent who seemingly looks polite, kind and wise may just as well smooth-talkin his way into confiming a deal with you. Your boyfriend's excuses for latecoming because of work may just as well be a bluff because you are already so used to thinking positively about him. A friend would go miles to speak good about his best friend to others even though in reality, his best friend isnt that "good" as the friend would perceive him to be.
Dont these situations sound awfully familiar?
Finally, readers, think about perceptual accentuation. i believe that by clearly distinguishing perceptual accentuation from reality, it could help you in some way or the other.
I sure wished that i know this term a few years ago.
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Audi
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