Saturday, June 30, 2007
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EDIT: Added in extra paragraphs.
Last Thursday I got up in the morning around 9am. Class starts at 2pm. I looked at myself in the mirror and studied myself.
I'm 19... going 20 in a few months. I'm still short. I look small. I'm not talented at all. And the thought of quitting school has been running through in my head for quite a while; I find that my time in school doesnt serve any real purpose in the real asian filmmaking world besides meeting some great friends and work partners.
Mediacorp Radio Station
I touched the back of my head.
This is my hair. This is how long it is after two to three months of not cutting the back. It grows real slow. I thought about the period of time to Henry's departure to China. Our little challenge - who will have the longest hair at the time he returns. A childish challenge... but it's one way we could keep each other in mind as friends even though it's a few thousand miles walk to meet.
I kinda like the style i have. I like feeling it grow over the weeks. After or during a shower I'd have fun trying out different styles... parting my hair this way that way... and I do look kinda hot with it dont you think? lmao.
But then I decided. I'm willing to sacrifice this for the sake of something higher. I put on my shoes and walked to the barber all dressed in my usual "Combat Civilian" attire - Jeans, Converse high cut, a hell of a heavy bag and a hooded sweater to use whenever my tight-fitting singlet isnt enough to keep my warm. I marched down to Uncle Osnam.
"Hello young man! What will it be?"
"Take it all off."
"All off? Crew cut?"
"No.. all off. Number 0 please."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
I couldnt really care less anymore. I need to shave to prove a point.
Uncle Osnam cleaned his shaver, took off any extra blades, oiled the jaws of his machine and started on his work.
It's just another haircut for some... but for me it's path to greatness.
No strand of hair was spared. They fell off quickly. A few clinged on to my shoulder... to my chest... to my lap... but Uncle Osnam cleared them all away with on swipe of his hairdryer. They fell onto the floor.. awaiting to be swept by a broom and thrown into the garbage.
I got out of the shop and walked into a new world. I took my first step in the name of sacrifice and knowledge. It felt right, for once.
In public everyone turned and saw me in a certain way. I dont know why. Probably because now i look like a monk. Thats what i thought anyways. But i didnt mind. I'm glad i look like a monk. Because in a way i'm on a journey.
I thought of the oppurtunity that unfolded before me a few days before.
My life hasnt been doing good after AFP#1. Although the film turned out beyond anyone's expectation and was mentioned for its "valiant effort". Fuck that. They dont know the word "valiant".
I made my way down for a shoot with Jimmy. Usual thing this time round - carrying weapons, checking safety, supplying ammo, observing a real production shoot and learning from Jimmy about a magnitude of things.
He was giving me the usual lecture that I've always looked forward to. I like hearing it. There are times i think to myself about why is it that i would always end up following what he says rather than what my parents say.
I put out the ciggarette he rolled and gave to me and presented myself to him; the next major step in the name of sacrifice.
"Jimmy..."
He looks at me.
"... will you teach me Kung Fu?"
It was a long silence... everyone else was busy on the set doing their thing. He stood still...
All these while I felt as if I have no direction in anything. One moment I'm a hand-held camera guru. Next moment I'm painting tanks. Next week I'm learning how
to do business. Next month I'm learning Cantonese. Then all of a sudden the next day I'm
thinking of quitting school. I needed a meaning. I need a strong guide. I need someone to
lead me, to whack me and to watch my back as i grow into a man. A real man. A man of use
to society... to a profession... to not turn into a faggot... to have a good marriage... to mature
and be someone instead of being a shadow of my father's success.
Jimmy looked at me for a long while. Finally, he said something.
"You get on your knees and bow down to me before i teach you."
And I, the "stubborn" and "arrogant" Audi, was about to kneel down infront of him in the middle of the courtyard when he stopped me and started to laughed
"Joking la. I will teach you Kung Fu."
This is sacrifice.
"But first..."
Very similar to all those master-student stories you hear, Jimmy presented to me a challenge. A challenge that runs for two weeks. It's simple but requires an amount of discipline that I might have some problems with. But for the sake of learning an art.. to learn something that not many people have interest/bother/cannot handle from a master that even lesser people would have the oppurtunity to be blessed to meet, I took up his challenge and said..
"I'll be back in two weeks."
That night, Jimmy and me spent a period of time the privacy of his Whompoa office as he released to me knowledge on a variety of things that "no other people know".
That of course has some benefits for others. One of the things - I now know how to make blood and blood effects of Jimmy Low's standard.
It's not up there yet in standards... but i'm still practicing. And my shaven head represents my dedication and submission to Shifu Jimmy.
Last Thursday I got up in the morning around 9am. Class starts at 2pm. I looked at myself in the mirror and studied myself.
I'm 19... going 20 in a few months. I'm still short. I look small. I'm not talented at all. And the thought of quitting school has been running through in my head for quite a while; I find that my time in school doesnt serve any real purpose in the real asian filmmaking world besides meeting some great friends and work partners.
Mediacorp Radio Station
I touched the back of my head.
This is my hair. This is how long it is after two to three months of not cutting the back. It grows real slow. I thought about the period of time to Henry's departure to China. Our little challenge - who will have the longest hair at the time he returns. A childish challenge... but it's one way we could keep each other in mind as friends even though it's a few thousand miles walk to meet.
I kinda like the style i have. I like feeling it grow over the weeks. After or during a shower I'd have fun trying out different styles... parting my hair this way that way... and I do look kinda hot with it dont you think? lmao.
But then I decided. I'm willing to sacrifice this for the sake of something higher. I put on my shoes and walked to the barber all dressed in my usual "Combat Civilian" attire - Jeans, Converse high cut, a hell of a heavy bag and a hooded sweater to use whenever my tight-fitting singlet isnt enough to keep my warm. I marched down to Uncle Osnam.
"Hello young man! What will it be?"
"Take it all off."
"All off? Crew cut?"
"No.. all off. Number 0 please."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
I couldnt really care less anymore. I need to shave to prove a point.
Uncle Osnam cleaned his shaver, took off any extra blades, oiled the jaws of his machine and started on his work.
It's just another haircut for some... but for me it's path to greatness.
No strand of hair was spared. They fell off quickly. A few clinged on to my shoulder... to my chest... to my lap... but Uncle Osnam cleared them all away with on swipe of his hairdryer. They fell onto the floor.. awaiting to be swept by a broom and thrown into the garbage.
I got out of the shop and walked into a new world. I took my first step in the name of sacrifice and knowledge. It felt right, for once.
In public everyone turned and saw me in a certain way. I dont know why. Probably because now i look like a monk. Thats what i thought anyways. But i didnt mind. I'm glad i look like a monk. Because in a way i'm on a journey.
I thought of the oppurtunity that unfolded before me a few days before.
My life hasnt been doing good after AFP#1. Although the film turned out beyond anyone's expectation and was mentioned for its "valiant effort". Fuck that. They dont know the word "valiant".
I made my way down for a shoot with Jimmy. Usual thing this time round - carrying weapons, checking safety, supplying ammo, observing a real production shoot and learning from Jimmy about a magnitude of things.
He was giving me the usual lecture that I've always looked forward to. I like hearing it. There are times i think to myself about why is it that i would always end up following what he says rather than what my parents say.
I put out the ciggarette he rolled and gave to me and presented myself to him; the next major step in the name of sacrifice.
"Jimmy..."
He looks at me.
"... will you teach me Kung Fu?"
It was a long silence... everyone else was busy on the set doing their thing. He stood still...
All these while I felt as if I have no direction in anything. One moment I'm a hand-held camera guru. Next moment I'm painting tanks. Next week I'm learning how
to do business. Next month I'm learning Cantonese. Then all of a sudden the next day I'm
thinking of quitting school. I needed a meaning. I need a strong guide. I need someone to
lead me, to whack me and to watch my back as i grow into a man. A real man. A man of use
to society... to a profession... to not turn into a faggot... to have a good marriage... to mature
and be someone instead of being a shadow of my father's success.
Jimmy looked at me for a long while. Finally, he said something.
"You get on your knees and bow down to me before i teach you."
And I, the "stubborn" and "arrogant" Audi, was about to kneel down infront of him in the middle of the courtyard when he stopped me and started to laughed
"Joking la. I will teach you Kung Fu."
This is sacrifice.
"But first..."
Very similar to all those master-student stories you hear, Jimmy presented to me a challenge. A challenge that runs for two weeks. It's simple but requires an amount of discipline that I might have some problems with. But for the sake of learning an art.. to learn something that not many people have interest/bother/cannot handle from a master that even lesser people would have the oppurtunity to be blessed to meet, I took up his challenge and said..
"I'll be back in two weeks."
That night, Jimmy and me spent a period of time the privacy of his Whompoa office as he released to me knowledge on a variety of things that "no other people know".
That of course has some benefits for others. One of the things - I now know how to make blood and blood effects of Jimmy Low's standard.
It's not up there yet in standards... but i'm still practicing. And my shaven head represents my dedication and submission to Shifu Jimmy.
